Do you consider yourself to be more of a “loner” type? Why? Why not?
It is irrelevant if others consider you to be that way or not. I’m interested in what you think of yourself. Thanks.
I am not sure what a loner really is? Are you talking about someone who is socially inactive, someone who likes their own company more than that of others, or just finds solace in being alone?
At times people have commented and said that I dont talk as much (desis talk a lot anyway). I think I get into the sort of mood where I want to be alone, and I find ways to stay by myself. But definitely not someone who would habitually want to stay that way.
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*Originally posted by Mahiwal: *
I am not sure what a loner really is? Are you talking about someone who is socially inactive, someone who likes their own company more than that of others, or just finds solace in being alone?
At times people have commented and said that I dont talk as much (desis talk a lot anyway). I think I get into the sort of mood where I want to be alone, and I find ways to stay by myself. But definitely not someone who would habitually want to stay that way.
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I would like guppies to write what their idea of being a loner is or isnt, and explain, just as you have done. I'm looking for your definitions. Thanks for your reply, interesting. smile
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
I would like guppies to write what their idea of being a loner is or isnt, and explain, just as you have done. I'm looking for your definitions. Thanks for your reply, interesting. smile
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I would say someone who is anti-social.
^ :k:
I am a loner at times by choice. solitude is a great place to visit not to live.
to give u an idea, when i was studying in europe, as much as I hung out with my pals, I took time out to go explore some places on my own..just me, my thoughts, my time.. that was priceless.
obviously i dont want to do that all the time and enjoy company of pals.. but there are times that i would rather just be alone and do my own thing.
I am a loner but I don’t think that means I am anti-social 
I am very much a loner. At times i do try to mix up with humans, but time and again I come to the conclusion that being alone it the best way to go
loner is defined by me as someone who prefers the company of himself.......finds the company of others good, but only for limited time, after which he longs for solitude.
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*Originally posted by NeSCio: *
loner is defined by me as someone who prefers the company of himself.......finds the company of others good, but only for limited time, after which he longs for solitude.
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i agree with Nes' definition.
i hang out with friends every once in a while, but i think i am happiest when i am alone, either reading or cooking or fixing up my home. i am a live-and-let-live type of person, and it bothers me when people try to impose their style on me. i have been living on my own for since my student days since i've no family here, and i am so used to being a loner that i get quite anxious when i think that i'll be married someday and prolly have to live with a whole new family. i'm an affectionate person, but it takes me while to warm up to a person and really get to know/trust them.
Munni, gosh after reading definitions of loner above, I must say I define that word a bit differently. To me, a loner is not a negative word at all. It merely conveys a person’s individuality and depth of uniqueness. I think I am very much a loner especially, I notice, among fellow desi women. I have goals that CAN seem far-reaching but to ME they are merely goals that if worked towards one step at a time, are entirely feasible to achieve. Not to say that other young women don’t have goals but a vast majority of girls I come across either want to get married and have kids at lightening speed or work part-time as a bank teller or a bookkeeper, etc. AFTER marriage. Nothing wrong with their life choices if that is where contentment lies, just saying that it’s just not me. Also, defining the term differently as some of the guppies did above, I would say as well that I like a lot of quiet time to ponder and be one with myself, read books, watch a movie alone, go shopping alone even, etc. I do enjoy my own company. I love time with family, friends, parties, boisterous events/happenings but I think at the end of the day, I am definitely a solitary, “loner” type of person who sometimes tends to feel like no one in the world can relate to in reference to goals, ideas, thoughts, perspectives, etc. I have friends who are nice, motivated people but I have yet to find any one person who clicks with me at all levels, friendship-wise and even romance-wise.
Loner is someone who prefers his/her own company (a'la Nescio and Phoenix). Being a loner doesn't connote an anti-social person, just someone who cherishes his time with himself. The major difference between a loner and a lonely person is the level of satisfaction one dervies from his/her company.
In my experience loners tend to be very content with their (correction)lives, and don't need accoutrements and public announcments to bolster their self-esteem.
If you find yourself alone craving or wishing for the company of someone that you "click" with, then you are just sad and lonely. And that is not the same is being a loner.
Yes I'm a loner
I love going out, shopping/eating all by myself.
Especially eating out, just me reading my book/magazine and observing ppl around me .. keeps me busy for hours.
Also going to the cinema alone, ppl have called me crazy for that but to me that (still) is very relaxing :)
I do however like to have ppl around me, so basically I like to be 'alone' but I do get tired of myself and then start mingling with ppl again. (till I get tired of them...etc)
Shinoo … :k:
For a woman, especially a desi woman, to enjoy eating out by themselves and even going out to the movies by themselves … that, in my opinion, takes a lot of courage and confidence.
I am here
I think i am an anti-social person :o
Loner. Nah. However i like my individual company. On average i spend 5 days in a week out with my friends. After those 5 days, i dont call them, see them, chat with them for a good 48 hours or more. Just time with myself. If its a more intense week, like we meet up for more than 4 hours a night i just disappear off the face of the planet for more than 2 days.
Individual time is something i like. To game, to read. To listen to music to think etc. But i dont do many things solo.
Mostly a loner, f you can define me as such, I like to spend my time with a very select few and even then in limited amounts, your actually blessed if I want to talk to you more than two days running. I can however be the most pleasent person you wish to meet. I hide it well. But I like to be alone. Not necessarily to do anything, just be me.
I often go out by my self like shinoo, sit in the cafe and write or read. It's quite comforting.
I can be at times… Like when I’m feeling too poorly to go out I’ll sit in my room all day and read posts on GupShup all day or or read a book.
But I have lots of hobbies too like sports, gym, boxing, just being with mates and chilling and stuff…
It’s cool to be on my own sometimes, think and ponder over stuff, like what I want from my life etc.
I like to go for a jog in the woods and countryside after Morning Prayers and I HATE it when a sibling, cousin or friend wants to join me, I’m too nice to say no but it really pisses me off… I just like to think about stuff whilst I’m running and then sit at this reservoir for a bit and listen to Koran on my Walkman or something, the rest of the day I like being around people though.
The reason I posted this is because I am coming to realize that there are quite a many of us that define ourselves as loners(whether or not others do/would isnt the question).
I consider myself a loner, and I think that my friends would also agree. I rarely go out with friends, and it usually takes some coaxing by them to even get me out of the house with them, although when alone I go out without any hoo haa. Or I like going out with or being around just my family. I simply enjoy being by myself most of the time though, and knowing family is around. But unlike some of you, when going out, I like to go with someone. (I rarely go out though.)
I dont believe its anti-social behavior. Because I know how to mingle in social environments, as I am sure the rest of you do (even if some us may be reserved or shy in such environments it doesnt make you anti-social).
Another question I have is, and I have seen this also amongst people like myself, is that how would people like "us" fit in with others in terms of marriage? Considering we like so much alone time and prefer our own company to others most of the time, how would a spouse react to that? I find that some self-proclaimed loners tell me that they wouldnt get married because of this, because the other person wouldnt understand, or want to deal with that, etc.
Your views? Thanks.
P.S. According to statistics, the average couple spend only 2 hours alone with just eachother per day.
Actually Munni, I would very much prefer my spouse to value the idea of "alone time," his and mine. I mean, mingling with extended family and friends is all well and good but at the end of the day, you also want your time together with your spouse AND also your time simply ALONE. In my view, I'd go nuts if I didn't have alone time before OR after marriage. It keeps people stable, healthy, and focused, I think.
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
Another question I have is, and I have seen this also amongst people like myself, is that how would people like "us" fit in with others in terms of marriage? Considering we like so much alone time and prefer our own company to others most of the time, how would a spouse react to that? I find that some self-proclaimed loners tell me that they wouldnt get married because of this, because the other person wouldnt understand, or want to deal with that, etc.
Your views? Thanks.
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First of all, the idea of harmonious co-existencse between spouses based on criterion that they "value" each others' alone time is deceptively simple. Naive.
I'd have to warn you that being a loner does limit the choices of avialable partners and spouses.
Not all spouses/partners are emotionally equipped (and capable of - two different things) to exist in a relationship with a loner partner/sposue. If you are spouse needs constant personal validation, he/she is emotionally insecure or in need of constant physical companionship, you are not a good match and results could be disastrous.
Being a loner, you could also be perceived as aloof, arrogant and selfish and hence your spouse/partner must have the patience and communication skills to guage your mood. They say communication is essential to a healthy relationship; in case of loner(s), it's the life blood of a relationship. There would be times when you would want to be alone simply because of your nature while on occasion you'd like to be alone simply because you want to get away from the spouse. If your partner can't distinguish between the two and probe/prod you to come out of your shell at the required moments, there would be conflict.
Everyone claims to be secure. In practise, not many are secure enough for a loner spouse or a partner.