Luxury, what about compromising and deciding to spend more time with others against ones normal wishes? And how about reassuring just to ease any tensions that may occur for not doing that? Or is that asking someone to not be themselves?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Munni: *
Luxury, what about compromising and deciding to spend more time with others against ones normal wishes? And how about reassuring just to ease any tensions that may occur for not doing that?
[/QUOTE]
You certainly could compromise. Life and relationships are about compromises, and sometimes we do things that we don't want to do. How much you compromise (on your personal time v/s entertaining and providing company to others) depends on YOUR level of comfort and self-esteem.
Good communication diminshes the need for reassurances in a relationship. Let your partner know that you'd be available for certain things and not available for certain things based on a personal priority system.
[QUOTE]
Or is that asking someone to not be themselves?
[/QUOTE]
One word: Pragmatism. But keep in mind what's important to you in life and the reasonable cost to you.
I wonder if there is a gender bias here. Reason being that it is often touted that women need to be reassured far more often than men. .
Now if thats the case, would a man have an easier time with a loner spouse than say a woman with a husband who is the loner type?
Only people who are in a relationship can answere that question simply becuase it's based on the presumption that the (generally "touted") premise is true!
I do believe there is a gender bias in the Western courtship and chivalry is biased against men, and for women. But that's a giant digression from your initial question. :)
Me. I feel most myself when I am alone. With others except very very few I feel strained and unnatural. I have always been happiest with a good book, a comfortable room, a long night, and my imagination.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Munni: *
The reason I posted this is because I am coming to realize that there are quite a many of us that define ourselves as loners(whether or not others do/would isnt the question).
I consider myself a loner, and I think that my friends would also agree. I rarely go out with friends, and it usually takes some coaxing by them to even get me out of the house with them, although when alone I go out without any hoo haa. Or I like going out with or being around just my family. I simply enjoy being by myself most of the time though, and knowing family is around. But unlike some of you, when going out, I like to go with someone. (I rarely go out though.) - <<<SAME4ME!
Another question I have is, and I have seen this also amongst people like myself, is that how would people like “us” fit in with others in terms of marriage? Considering we like so much alone time and prefer our own company to others most of the time, how would a spouse react to that? I find that some self-proclaimed loners tell me that they wouldnt get married because of this, because the other person wouldnt understand, or want to deal with that, etc. <<<<< - SAME4ME! - i’m married and i’m finding it HARD because of this!!!
Meh LONER hoon…
<==== I guess I need to change my custom title to "Loner" now....:D
I would say i m a loner. I often find myself wanting to sway away from people and stay alone in my room, reading books, watching movies. Just me and some quality time with myself. But as they say 'Man is a social animal' so i go back to people again. And this ping-pong keeps happenning.
Because the word is equipped with
such negative connotations, I don't know if I want to
classify myself as such. However, I do value spending
time with spouse over spending it with anyone else.
Extended family comes next and so forth. In school
time although I have tons of friends but once I walk
out of school I leave them far behind, the next moments
are all my spouse's. I think even 24 hours a day are
not enough, I want the days and hours to be longer.
will i feel that i am one
cuze that's the time i feel..to write
thats when..i feel relax
guilty 
Re: How many of you consider yourselves to be loners?
I m a LONER…& i Damn Care what other thinks of me 
Why do loners get such a bad rap considering there are so many of us? Need for conformity? hmm
Loner is such a negative word... well i like my own company better then most of the people ... but that doesnt mean m anti social.... i guess it depends on time.. sumtime when m tired or upset i rather stay in my room then to spill my guts in front of sumone... i like to read a lot.. that means i prefer reading over talking... now wuts so negative about that... ?! but that puts me in loner group according to sum definitions. I wonder wuts so wrong about being a loner?? ... "apnay kaam say kaam rakhna" is it too much to ask for?! i do meet people... hav fun with them.. play cards with them.. go out with them... but it all depends on time... or mood perhaps... mayb i m moody ... ?
I a a loner, not out of choice though. Its just the way my life has turned out.
Just to clarify, these are the definitions of anti-social vs. loner. They are two different things.
anti-social - Hostile to or disruptive of the established social order; marked by or engaging in behavior that violates accepted mores: gangs engaging in vandalism and other antisocial behavior. Antagonistic toward or disrespectful of others; rude.
loner - one who avoids the company of others
So basically a loner is someone who prefers to spend more time alone and in solitude than with others. It doesnt say anywhere that a loner doesnt know how to socialize or cant socialize, etc. Therefore there should be a realization that the terms clearly mean two different things.