How many of u?

Lifestyle Relationships
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How many of You really takecare of ur husband/ wife…and wat response u get did he/she really care abt ur feelings and give lots of love n care IN RETURN…

I really care for my hubby but in return in got nothing so now i change my views im just a mother of my kids and only a home maker and decided never go deep with my husband stuff…leave him with his thinking bcuz he is so selfish im trying and trying but he is still the same with no effect so better to leave him alone and i will do my work , have fun with kids i dont want 2 show him that im changed but my behaviour will really taught him i guess…so no EXPECTATIONS NO MORE CRYING AND FEELINGS FROM MY MY SIDE …!

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Re: How many of u?

im engaged , yet not married

but i hope my hubby will love me alot........... becoz he really care abt me....... but i cant say anything abt future just to expect best

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Re: How many of u?

jst ignore him , jst stop all food n water supply , dont talk to him much n advice ur kids to do the same ... :)

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Re: How many of u?

lolx ...no way then result is FIGHT and i dont want fights ........he is a selfish man ......he stop giving money for kitchen expenses and dont want kids 2 involved it will break their personalities........u know fight at home kids become sensitive studies per tawajjah nahin hogi unki they know wats going at home but if they behave badly than husbands used to say i guess all husband BACHOON KO TUM NAY SIKHAYA HOGA ........:) ignoring is only option but not the rest part......baki ghar k kaam chalain but not having fun with him , no much talk and other enjoy able stuff....

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Re: How many of u?

I would suggest.. "Try Try Try …you will succeed one day :insh: "

My cousin sister tried for 7 years and :alhamd: now things r different and v v good.
She NEVER gave up..even when ALL of us (parents …siblings..czns etc) had given up and had asked her to leave and come back home to us.

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Re: How many of u?

Thanks LP but the thing is its 10 yrs now and things r exactly the same he is always thinking abt his life and his stuff and im only thinking abt my 2 little ones :)

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Re: How many of u?

so true , then the least you can do is sabar and wait for the right time n pray for him ka allah usai hadayat dai :)

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Re: How many of u?

10 yrs is long. You can still keep trying . Its not like you will lose anything if you be civil to him...talk and laugh and enjoy with him.
But if you do the opposite....then you both will simply drift apart a lot more than now.
If you keep trying..there is hope for a better future....if you lose hope now....then u hv no hope for the future.
Pray a lot !!!

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Re: How many of u?

atleast children will understand u at best

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Re: How many of u?

LP i agree but im not showing him that im changed ..........this is i want 2 do concentrate on my kids... talk 2 him little but he is a different person he comes home watch tv and its only me who PUSH . i cook a perfect meal for him daily im a good cook u can say .... im trying to make my home a perfect place but what he do he eat, talk a little and than again he goes in a silent mode..................no interest always need some PUSH ....ye karlain wahan chalain ..........khudh se nothing.............and then when ever any problem comes IM ALONE as always..............

i think k its better not to expect ....i make food as always then watch tv with him ... talk a little like he did...and than like him i also go in to a SILENT mode.....if he feels k kuch gar barh hai than i will say NAHIN tu........

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Re: How many of u?

meena why is he like this and why he doesnt pay you for kitchen expenses

how do you manage the expenses then

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Re: How many of u?

u understood wrong i said if i fight and argue with him then he will stop paying.......fro kitchen expenses k if she dont give me food i wont give her money for kitchen like MR TOPSECRET in the above post said k STOP FOOD SUPPLY how can i stop it than in reaction he stop paying for kitchen :)

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Re: How many of u?

ok i got what you mean...but y your husband is selfish and like you have said

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Re: How many of u?

i dont know why he is like that.....God knows the answer i guess....if i knew it im not asking a question here...

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Re: How many of u?

Meenabazar

I think what you are doing right now is just fine . Just concentrate on your kids and ignore his wrong doings. To stop giving you allowance for your household/kitchen expenses is really bad ...because it's his duty he is not doing a ehsan.

just want to ask is he a loving father ? or does he ignores his kids too ?

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Re: How many of u?

diamond he can do a good baby sitting...........bcuz he lives with his sis nearly 7 yrs in canada and there he knows how too clean and make things in a rite place , he takecare of his nephews and nieces by baby sitting .........BUT when u talk abt husbands duty as a men he is weak in taking decisions , if any body is shouting at me suppose an outsider or his mom orbla bla he is just quiet and standing he is a weak person...lack of confidence in this matter.....i have to PUSH Him that pls attend childrens parent meeting pls after 5 yrs he went to his son school bcuz the teacher is asking where is the father..............he never have guts to do it himself when it comes to me or my kids...........once my mother in law locked my child when he was just 3 and i m out of my home as my chachas Death ...........so my husband offer me k woh bachay k saath ghar per hain........but he left my kid with dadi and went to a shop in the mean time my mother in law locked my kid as he is asking for food and he wants to eat and even go to a wash room .......but my husband didnt say a word after knowing this ......................i dont know he love his kids or not :(

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Re: How many of u?

Meena ...your husband is ignorant and has not been taught some very important things about family life by his parents and those short comings in him are in his roots and CAN NOT be corrected.

Meena just try to look at good things in your husband. I am not saying that he is right to not protect you from his mother but atleast he is not making complains about you or ganging up with his mom against you. I think his parents were very very strict or abusive when he was a kid that is why he does not have the ability to taking a stand against them when they are wrong. His parents are like God to him who can never ever be wrong even when they locked his hungry son. He is still too scared of them and I think this has over all negatively affected his ability to keep relationships. I think he lacks empathy because he was never shown one.

You should be happy that he is financially supporting you and his children , he is not verbally & physically abusive towards you though I believe he is emotionally abusing you. He listens to you because you said in your earlier posts that he does not take any initiative where ever you ask him to take you he does . He visited his son's school when you told him so. Atleast he listens to you when you guide him. I know it can be really frustrating to be always the one to take 1st step but thats the way things are.

See Meena grass is always greener on the other side of the fence you may be thinking all other couples are so happy but believe me every couple has there own set of problems. You should not and can not give up in your marriage now because you have kids and they are now old enough to understand things. Plus , I believe that your marriage does need hard work but it's not an impossible marriage. You will have to be the one to compromise . Your husband is not a bad person he is just very very ignorant . Good days will come Insha Allah when your children will grow up and they will protect you and take care of you. Just keep on ignoring him and stop expecting from him just concentrate all your energies on your children and make them your source of happiness.

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Re: How many of u?

i agreed diamond u r 100% rite ...but the thing is i cant complain to his parents abt his mistake as they r ready to break my relationship but he can easily complain ( my mistakes which i never did) to my father or my mother with out telling me and when my mom or dad discuss it later then i m like WHAT he talked to u......y he phoned u and try to tell those stories which never exist..... in my previous thread i wrote he was involved in some affairs like he is on NET and he is going out with A Lady a NET FRIENDSHIP...........and when i caught him he said IM SORRY i never do this but he never think abt my feelings...........and after thaT issue A RELATION OF TRUST is broken and than i forget and again start trusted him bcuz of not to finished this relation to TRY TRY..........but again some issue than he said sorry than after more issueeeeeeessssss..............and it is always from his side Y ? y he forgets that we r family
Husband and wife trust is important .......if he makes little mistakes every time than nothing is left......we both have to b one side ........i dont say that fight with ur parents or shouted at them or mis behave other person but pls let them know that im ur wife ....MERI BHI IZZAT HAI AND IM NOT THERE PROPERTY ..........each and every time waiting for there BAD WORDS.......

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Re: How many of u?

Meena.....tell your parents to not encourage him next time he tried to discus his married life issues with them and try to make complains about you. Tell them to tell him kay apnay ghar ka mamla apnay ghar main solve karo and stop him then and there only.

If he doing stuff on INTERNET with women let him do it apni qabar gandi kar raha hai. Do you think Allah will not question him for these sins ? Don't run after him usko uskay haal par chor do he is not worth your time and attention.

I know trust can not exist in such situations and it's better that you don't trust him again with anything. Like I said he does not know what family is all about that is why he can not treat you like a family i.e. with love and respect. He does not know how to respect himself that is why he is having cheap affairs on internet . No sensible married man with children do stuff like that.

Meena he will never protect you he does not have brains for that . You are his izzat and if someone insults you then he himself is getting insulted but this is too much to understand and to realize for him.

You have already given 10 years to this marriage. You are financially dependent on him. You need a source of income and a roof on your and your children's heads that is why you will have to put up with his non sense. There is no way out. I know how you feel I know you feel insulted I know you feel betrayed and unloved BUT you are not alone now. You have a family to take care of and if one parent is not capable of being a parent then the other parent has to take the additional responsibility and has to make compromises for the sake of children's future. 10-15 years later when you children will grow up and be able to take care of you things will be very different and beautiful I can promise you that.

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Re: How many of u?

thanks Diamond yes I believe .............and i believe Allah is with me thats the reason im still fighting........i believe SACRIFICE is the word .......and .................it goes for MOTHER ....n being a MUSLIM MOTHER ....i know i have to do it for the sake of my kids..........