same as me… looks like everyone has bets on me… when im getting married and to who… im not even a quarter of a century yet 
..
zidee ?sachi muchi? i had no idea 
you have got to be kidding me OMG ..ahem ok..I would like to thank my mom…my dad…faints
hehe ignore me..
but seriously zidee..Insha Allah you’ll find someone who’ll be worth the wait..and these things are written up there ..atleast that’s what i’d like to believe (hehe how conveinient) ..so don’t worry about it..Allah has everything under control 
Why is it so hard to find Mr right?
Cause 80 % of the women like 20% of the men (and think they are the Mr right) and 80% of the Men like 20% of the gals (and think they are Ms right). So there is always more demand then supply at least for the people we think are Mr. right. Everyone else we like to think of as just ok or settling for something other then mr/miss right. Its only human to want the very best and once we cant get that, we lower our expectations :).
Just like you dont spend day and night with your friends but you know them fairly well... I think its quite possible to get to know a person by interacting with them. You can never know for sure completely but you have a decent idea. There is nothing like knowing someone completely not even family so why expect it in finding a spouse. :)
Munni & Mehnaz - i have really tried that…but it doesn’t work! cuz everyday i get either an email, phone call or something…where some1 or their mother wants to know when i’m getting married.
so no matter how much i try to forget about this idea, no1 around me will let me 
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zidee, its not about forgetting. its about where you put your focus. how much brain space are you going to allow this to take. its not something that you should allow yourself to be consumed by. apart from the odd day here or there where you juss feel lonely, dont let it(the thoughts) take over your life, to the point you stop living, and merely survive until “it” happens. smile
Always wait..it's worth it.
HOWEVER to be honest...when I met my husband there were several items that I thought were non-negotiable in what I was looking for in mr. perfect BUT he was so amazing on other counts that those things lost importance...so i would say don't get stuck on a list...and give them a chance...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by amelie: *
Always wait..it's worth it.
HOWEVER to be honest...when I met my husband there were several items that I thought were non-negotiable in what I was looking for in mr. perfect BUT he was so amazing on other counts that those things lost importance...so i would say don't get stuck on a list...and give them a chance...
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chance tu jub diya jaiga naa kisi ko jub koi exist karaigaa.
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Munni: *
zidee, its not about forgetting. its about where you put your focus. how much brain space are you going to allow this to take. its not something that you should allow yourself to be consumed by. apart from the odd day here or there where you juss feel lonely, dont let it(the thoughts) take over your life, to the point you stop living, and merely survive until "it" happens. *smile
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Munni, I couldn't agree more. Zidee, Munni has taken the words right out of my mouth and mirrored my own thoughts.
I don't know if this is how Munni feels but I can certainly tell you this is how I have recently (over the past few months) started to live my life. You know, for the past few years, I was living my life exactly how you have described. This year, there came a time when I just .... I don't know how to describe it. I basically decided that you only live once and I do not want to spend any more years waiting while putting all my dreams and everything I have ever wanted to do on hold. I am not willing to do that anymore. There is so much more to life than getting an education and getting married. I want to live and do things I want. A big part of my life is travelling so I've decided to take those trips I've always dreamed of doing with Mr. Right (eventhough I came to the conclusion that Mr. Right does not exist). If I don't do it now, who knows if I'll ever get to do it in the future. I don't want to have any regrets and I know I will seriously have regrets if I wake up one day, realise I'm 30 and single and have done nothing. At least if I do end up being 30 and single, I can now say, "at least I have been living my life rather than waiting". I don't know if that makes any sense.
Just continue to live day to day and put your mind and focus elsewhere. Now is your time, so do things that make you happy.
^ ok that's the post of the day for me :)
I didn't read all the posts, but just some in the middle. I have a question... Isn't there a difference between WAITING for Mr. Right (or Miss Right) and putting your life on HOLD?
In other words, what if we say... don't WAIT for anything... live your life like you want to live: travel, enjoy, study, work etc... You'll have some guys who pass through your life. Be it friends, affairs, proposals etc. So despite not waiting, and living your life to the full, at some point you have to decide who do you want to select to live your life with? Do you go with the best who is available and interested in you, or do you want to keep your options open for someone BETTER.
Some of the posts I read above, suggest you are not putting your life on HOLD. Which is fine. I don't think anyone will want to do it. But that really isn't the question here, is it?
I don't know what the question is anymore Faisal. :)
To answer this question: "Do you go with the best who is available and interested in you, or do you want to keep your options open for someone BETTER", speaking for myself only, I would choose the first option. I would go for whoever was genuinely interested in me. Through experience, you learn that lots of people come and go in your life .... but very few are actually willing to stick by you through thick and thin for the long run. I would choose the person who was actually willing to stand by me ... not only in relationships dealing with matters of the heart but also friendships.
In our community, girls are often raised being told that getting married is their primary goal in life. That's why we see so many girls who end up putting their lives on hold and just waiting.
^ i loved ur post Mehnaz... the one where u said to live the dreams u've been waiting to have with Mr right :)
i plan to do exactly that once i get back from pakistan... go to canada (Inshallah) and then if i have enuff money left over.. go to England for a bit too... cant wait!
ur right though.. i see so many girls here (around 19-22) wasting their lives away in the hope of finding a guy... they go as far as not even hoping to do well in studies.. pick any course that'll satisfy their needs for the time being... in the hope that their hubby will take care of the rest..
id really like to know from these females.. what do they expect to do if (God forbid) they end up losing their hubby... how will they support their family? i know its a crazy scenario... but girls are totally wasting themselves... be like me waste urself.. but get a degree at least!
hey zidee!! babe.. i thought u had that motto.. hmm i cant remember but it was a really positive one... kya hoowa? what happened with that? Inshallah the perfect guy will come along one day... (personally i believe he's hanging around here somewhere.. but we refuse to see) ..i totally get the depressing and feeling lonely bit.. i go thru it sometimes.. but as long as u have ur family around and good friends.... and ofcourse faith... no need to worry :)
i gotta add...
exercise and working out helps a lot!! its keeps the mind clear of itsy bitsy worries like this
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
i gotta add...
exercise and working out helps a lot!! its keeps the mind clear of itsy bitsy worries like this
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That's where Pilates and Power Yoga comes into play for me. It really does help take your mind off of other things. Do some classes .... any type of interests you have, pursue them and keep your mind busy not only to gain/expand your knowledge, but also so that you don't have time to dwell on marriage issues.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
That's where Pilates and Power Yoga comes into play for me. It really does help take your mind off of other things. Do some classes .... any type of interests you have, pursue them and keep your mind busy not only to gain/expand your knowledge, but also so that you don't have time to dwell on marriage issues.
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exactly... plus its a good break from family, work and all those other lil issues that can lead to depression... even a half an hour walk can do the trick.. relaxes the mind..
a lot of the people who go thru this sort of depression are stuck in a monotous routine... (not talking about anyone on here)
i think exercise.. and keeping myself busy with chores and contacting friends i havent seen for awhile.. really helps... hmm
MehnazQ,
I agree with what you have stated. I think the only time I really just kept thinking of marriage and wouldnt do anything else was when I had the rishta that I wrote about several months ago. In that time (of talking to him) I thought he was going to take care of me, and everything in my life and so I didnt do anything, not even apply for a job or masters. Huge mistake. Thanks to that I spent several months daydreaming and not doing much else. I have learned from that brief experience, and have decided to just live life to the fullest whether I get married or not. It doesnt mean you dont take time to consider rishtas, it just means you dont live your life around those events. It's like you stated, we may not be here tomorrow, so must do things today. smile
Exactly how I think/feel. :k: 
I also went through a very similar experience as you and when it was over, it was a rude awakening for me … but something I certainly needed.
I don't think brooding over which man will come along and when should be the dominant concern for women today. If you're educated and have learned about the world, have travelled, have worked outside the home, have mentors, have goals to accomplish etc., you begin to realize not only that life is too short to continually worry about finding a man (because the right man will come along when it is the right time) and that while you're sitting there worrying, someone else somewhere out there is accomplishing all that you are only hoping to accomplish. So go out there and do something with your life, be someone, make your dreams happen, and have fun doing it. The right man will come along as well, all in due time.
:)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sweetpie: *
I don't think brooding over which man will come along and when should be the dominant concern for women today. If you're educated and have learned about the world, have travelled, have worked outside the home, have mentors, have goals to accomplish etc., you begin to realize not only that life is too short to continually worry about finding a man (because the right man will come along when it is the right time) and that while you're sitting there worrying, someone else somewhere out there is accomplishing all that you are only hoping to accomplish. So go out there and do something with your life, be someone, make your dreams happen, and have fun doing it. The right man will come along as well, all in due time.
:)
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men... who cares about men!?
im going sky diving the first chance i get. anybody wanna come with me? ;)
I beat you to it Reemzy! :D I went in August with fellow Guppy BoSs ... it is definitely worth the experience. Make sure you get a movie and pictures taken while jumping.