how long did you wait?

One of the biggest hurdles in trying to get over someone and accept that it's over, is allowing yourself to consider someone else. Not only do you need to open your heart up to the possibility of someone else, you have to give them a fair chance. Holding them up to the standard of "the one that got away" is self-defeating - you only hurt yourself by not giving anyone else a fair chance.

I'm not saying it's easy, but time truly is the great healer and it gives you the ability to recognize the virtues in others, instead of just how they fail to match up to the "ideal" that got away. And at the end of the day, what is meant to be, will be!

Re: how long did you wait?

rule is: for women its the amount of time you were in a relationship, for men it is half the time.

Re: how long did you wait?

You don't get over an ex until you find someone to replace him/her.

we never were in a relationship but am waiting:hinna:

oh i wish it were like tht, then i wouldnt be waiting now:bummer:

i wish it were like that ... for women its not even one tenth ... i wish it was one tenth

Re: how long did you wait?

if its the length of the relationship then i'm going to be waiting till all my hair are white hehehe

sa-Nafooz........does he even know? maybe you should tell him

curiouslady, dont feel bad...i am very grateful for all i have in life :) thanks though jazak-Allah

thank you ALL for your replies. i have read each of them. thanks for replying to me :)

Re: how long did you wait?

libra, it seems you have been thru a similar experience..hmm..may Allah bless you.. but why would her taking time to get over it be beneficial for u..it doesnt really matter does it

tht’s a generalisation

he knows, i know…we both know everyhting…the knowledge is of no use:hinna:

i'm going through something similar right now..except my story is a bit different than yours. we did part ways but he's getting married soon. I feel as if it's always easier for guys to move on but us girls are so emotional and sensitive that it takes us time. i like to lie to myself and try look for other guys but i know deep down that im still not over him. it takes time but inshallah i know i'll be with someone in the future who will be 100000x better than my ex.

Re: how long did you wait?

questioner man it doesn't ... i'm happy with my life ... but i'm just saying that it takse diff ppl diff amount of time

Re: how long did you wait?

It defiantly takes time. The longer the relationship the more time it takes to be over with. One key word is respect. If you have self-respect and you keep that in check than you will know when to end all contacts. Most of the time when couple break up there is certain period where words or action fly and disrespect happens just make sure you are not on the receiving end and when you notice it, confront it and if they don't get it. Just END IT.

well i think aur kuch ho na ho,yaad rahay ya na rahay..but life mai her step per aapko aik incompletness zrur feel hoti hai..aur jo us insaan k saath aap ne dreams and wishes ki hoti hain,un ki jaga jab aap kisi aur ko dete ho ya dekhte ho tou us shakhs ki yaad bohat aati ho gee..zarur..

Re: how long did you wait?

am going thru the same situation these days..and it really hurts:bummer:

Re: how long did you wait?

We waited for four years, after tons and tons of prayers and tears, things worked out Alhumdulillah. What the whole situation taught me: Allah ke ghar der hai per andher nahi...

My advice: do istikhara once, twice, thrice... Put your troubles in Allah's hand and He will give you whatever is best for you inshallah :) trust me, there's nothing more powerful than fate.

Obviously, if you have other rishta options and things get serious with them, take them as God's will and go with the flow. It's always for the best.