Re: How long after delivery ..
excellent stuff , thanks so much Saadia, its all so very helpful 
Re: How long after delivery ..
normal delivery- no bedrest really. just told to relax for atleast 2 weeks. and can take body longer to recover, but no such thing as bed rest.
if you have a c-sec, then its diff of course.
but for me,alhumdulilah normal delivery, so i was shopping in tesco on the way home.lol. my husband nearly shot me. but i was just glad to be out the hospital.
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CB, I forgot one thing, I hope you do know that here they recommend that babies sleep on their side, as after drinking milk they burp some of it out and if they are sleeping on their back, it can go back and block air tube, as to when lying on the side, it just flows out. Now not to scare you but if you are letting your baby sleep on its back after a feed, you have to be vigilant, either you or someone is in the room, or you keep on checking, keep eye, ear contact, use a monitor, so that if you feel that baby is about to throw out milk, you can help the baby.
So either you monitor the baby good or if you have to leave the room, tilt the baby’s head a bit to the side.
When babies are around 3-4 months old, babies start to move their head, arms, so then you have to be careful that the cloth does not cover the nose, mouth due to movements. Don’t keep things like teddies, toys near the baby’s face, arms as the danger of suffocating, due to the toy blocking any air.
Keep on checking the baby. Trust your instinct, sometime we mom’s don’t hear the baby but our instinct tell us that the baby is crying and most of the time our instincts are right. 
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thanks so much Saadia, i had no idea about the gag thingy, and suddenly it made sense to me when i read your comment. Thanks so much for sharing this valuable info. sometimes we just dont think of things like this , its so important to read more and more for the sake of the baby’s safey
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actually no…these are not extreme examples.
I could post pictures of extreme examples but frankly I don’t want to do that; those that want to look at those pics can search them out.
the examples that I have posted are very, very close to those that I have seen in real life…in fact at least two have been even worse…amongst my friends…particularly those that were born and brought up abroad and didn’t believe in following advice that they were given.
and not only those kids born with forceps have oddly shaped heads as a result…some happen just because the baby was laid on one side too often…others happen because the parents were too scared and didn’t understand that they could do something to alter the shape.
and yes…you’d think that parents would do something about it if they saw their kid’s head flattening out but like I said…some don’t know that they can do something and others will just say, “My baby is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever made and nobody can tell me otherwise.”
nobody is saying that an expectant mother should be “worrying” about this…we’re simply suggesting that she should be prepared and knowledgeable.
I guess I’ll just keep my comments on shaping the bridge of the baby’s nose and the area between the nose and upper lip to myself. 
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^ probably hahaha 
you’re right- i guess its hard for new parents to see anything “wrong” with their kids. i’ve actually never seen an example like the one you’ve posted so it was a bit crazy for me to think that could be happening and parents wouldn’t do anything about it. i stand corrected.
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well I agree with baby head shaping but you don’t need to do any extra effort just make sure baby is lying straight not on one side, n when you feed make sure place your hand under the head never place your arm because this lead to pointed head. n yes if you want to hold baby go hold him, but agin place your hand under his head thts y ppl say don’t hold much because mostly head is on arm n the it grows like x max tree.wjhen I was expecting I saw a baby with pointed head n I was so much concerned about my own baby its always good to be safe thn sorry.
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i have seen one weird headshape…
my neighbour’s daughter’s…
her head was pointed since birth…and looked pretty weird…
she tried alot each and every totka but her headshape is same almost like the second pic Muzna has posted…
now that she has long hair…it doesnt look weird…
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Muzna please do share …
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This ! its so so so important to know as much as possible about this whole experience , specially when you are handling a tiny little baby on your own for the first time ever , in the absence of experienced ladies around .. We should be prepared for all kinds of situations .. coz seriously, its a huge responsibility, specially becomes even more bigger when one is on their own .. its not possible to depend alot on the midwives or doctors all the freaking time !
And I so agree with Muzna coz like she said , at this point, I am finding myself not worrying but trying to gain as much knowledge from those who have been through this experience recently and its helping me feel confident that I will be able to spot if things go haywire ..
How long after delivery ..
Oh God please shape your baby’s head or you might regret later..my cousin’s son was born through csec but since he had acid reflux so cousin used to put him in the bouncer all day. Result is that his head is flat from the back and from the front it seems higher than his face. It looks weird trust me! Iv seen other examples aswell.
No need to do the dangerous totkas but do keep an eye that baby doesnt stay in one position for long.
One more thing, you guys might not agree but that forehead pressing thing is also true. I wish i had done that..my daughter’s forehead is ‘niklava’..its quite noticeable! 
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NS2, what do you mean pressing the forehead , can you please share a bit more detail .. thanks so much
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nothing much really…
just little things that ammi used to do with my nieces and nephews and I learned to do as well.
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shaping the head included what you’ve already read in this thread as well as pressing down with the palm of your hand on the forehead so as to keep it from having a rounded/convex shape.
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massage the baby with oil and a small ball of kneaded dough. this removes the tiny hairs that the baby’s body is often covered with. it is said that if you do this well then chances are that the child will have less issues with hair removal later on in life. (e.g. my own legs need to be waxed once in three/four months)
I did this with Noor, who happened to be a very hairy baby, and thankfully most of the fuzz was gone never to return. My SIL didn’t do it and her daughter ended up with hair on her back etc. -
gently pinch/massage the bridge of the nose, lifting it from the base upwards so as to narrow it. since this is the only area of the nose where there actually is bone, you have an opportunity to shape it in the early days after birth. ammi used to encourage my bhabhis to do this as they nursed the babies. she said aisay karnay say naak “khaRi” hoti hai. (e.g. you’ve seen my nose right?
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with the side of your thumb, push down on the area between the nose and the upper lip (i.e. where the moustache would be). as some children suckle/latch the upper jaw may have a tendency to extend beyond the lower jaw. pressing on this part of the face as the child feeds shapes the mouth/jaw to an aligned position. (n.b. this is a greater problem for women that are ahem well-endowed and the baby has to latch onto a larger nipple) doing this can also help eliminate the need for braces later on in life.
…and for the record…I was a forceps delivery…still have the tiny dent at the top of my forehead as evidence…but now I wonder what else was wrong with me that ammi knew so much about “shaping”
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^ exactly all this stuff mil told me, I only focused on head shaping I wish I have done the nose n forhead thing.
mil also asked me to knead that I think besan or wht I don’t remember exactly n rub on baby so tht hair disappear, I didn’t do it ,but any heard this?
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Muzna, how do you make that dough? can you please give me some quantities ..
also, for how long do you do the dough thing to remove hair? or is it a do-it-once kind of a thing?
For baby boys, I was told that their forehead and neck area should be done with the dough .. any other areas on the face , hands, feet that need this doing? 
this may sound dumb but I am gonna ask anyway.. if i remove the hair all over the face except the eyebrows .. will that impact him in the future like with beard and all?
Also, i have noticed in husband’s case he has this fuzz below his hairline on the back of the head and it looks so untidy, I am thinking perhaps if i do the dough thing on the baby at the back of the head, unwanted fuzz wont grow there? shall I do that?
and lastly, any tips to reduce hair on the ears? I have seen my father and now my husband clearing hair out almost all their lives , perhaps if something can be done about them , I can try and make my bacha’s life easy !
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I wish I’d done that dough thing on my kid 
Can someone tell me how to make the dough?
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i think its kneaded atta to rub on body…
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^ exactly now I wish the same my mil made it n I didn’t do bc I didn’t knew about it
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guys…the dough thing is to be done right away in the first few weeks post delivery…I’m not sure that it will help kids that are beyond 3 months of age…at least not in the permanent way.
and it’s just like taking all purpose flour (maybe 2 or 3 tablespoons) and kneading it with some water…maybe enough that would fit in your hand if you closed it like a fist…just a small amount.
once kneaded to a smooth consistency, kinda like the peRa we make for a roti, you dip it in oil (just a tiny bit of oil cuz if you put too much then the dough is no longer sticky) and rub the baby’s skin with it. you will notice tiny hairs coming off the skin and sticking to the dough. just keep rubbing. do this each time you give the baby a massage before his/her bath. ammi didn’t spare any body part……she was more vigilant with the girls though…making sure the fingers and toes were done really well.
CB…some areas are prone to grow hair later in life and I don’t think that you can do any thing about that…like underarms…babies don’t have hair there and no matter how much you scrub with the ata it won’t matter…eventually they will grow it according to their hormonal development/puberty.
About the ears…if your baby has hair on his/her ears then by all means try the method there and it will come off. However, since this is an area also impacted by age and hormones, they may grow it back in the later years.
the washing with besan is something that I’ve never seen done at such an early age. Ammi did recommend it later on but never seen her do it with a newborn.
see the hair on the shoulders and back? all that can be taken off with the aata…
the books/drs say that this hair is perfectly natural and will eventually fall off but believe me it doesn’t always do that…
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Thanks Muzna! Will do this on my 2nd baby iA 