oh God, the head shaping. whats up with that?? weirdos. i did nothing and my kid has a perfect, gol anda head. don’t worry about it! it will all sort itself out- it always does.
as for bedrest, none required BUT if you have a c-sec, then you do need to take it easy with the stairs and with driving and heavy lifting. it’ll take about 6 weeks for your stitches to heal enough for you to resume normal activities fully, but the internal healing goes on for about a year. just take it slow- don’t worry about housework- and just focus on yourself and the kid. its overwhelming enough as it is to have a newborn on your hands, there’s no need for it to be more complicated with bedrest.
What my mom told me, I did, I took a soft cloth, wrap it around your hand and make a ‘pagri’ type, it has a hole in the middle, place the baby’s head in it when he/she sleeps, a few hours in a day, this way the head will not dis-form at one side, will be round equally on both sides.
I had a shower 20 minutes after baby was born, I had a vaginal delivery with stitches and was up and about pretty much straight away…never had any bed rest before or after baby was born.
I did have to be careful when sitting down and getting up because of the stitches though, and sometimes they’d feel a bit tight but certainly nothing that required bed rest.
Saadia, quick question .. when you make a round thing , like a pagri, does it not disturb the baby’s neck? coz in U shaped pillow you can let the neck relax hai na … how do you manage that bit?
I’m sure that I will get beats for this but I’m gonna do it anyway…
I’ve seen many an infant that has a mis-shapen head because the parents failed to be vigilant about the way the baby lay or slept. I’ve seen babies with both sides of their head flat, babies with the back of their head flat and babies that have one side flat and one side round because he/she prefers to sleep/lie mostly on one side.
Most times we have not been close enough to the couple to mention anything…and other times the new mother is so tired, emotional and sensitive that you just don’t feel comfortable providing even the slightest suggestion that might require additional effort on her part.
The truth is that nobody is going to point out that your baby has a weird shaped head (reminds me of the Seinfeld episode of the baby at the beach house). It will be up to you to know what “should” be a good shape for the head and to monitor how the skull bones are coming together as your baby grows.
While there are many old-wives’ tales about many things this is one of those things that, if followed, can’t harm your baby. And frankly that’s the litmus test for me. If doing it will not cause any harm but not doing it may have a 10% chance of something going wrong, then I’ll prefer to just do it.
My husband happens to have big issues with miss-shapen heads…he notices them right away…he encouraged me to prepare but as it turns out, Noor was delivered by c-section and her head was round as a football from the get-go. Still we used a rolled up scarf, like Saadia mentioned, to ensure that the bones joined together in a consistent way to keep the head round.
and the shower thing…I did it within 24 hours of the surgery…with the staples.
I agree with Muzna. I thought it was all weird too until I had my own son with messed up head :D.. the force from pulling him with the help of forceps really mishaped his head. I’ve seen kids with helmet thing that have severly mishaped head. My son didn’t require that since I really worked on shaping his head. Did everything I could. Even talked to the doctor about it and she also told me different things to do. When we shaved his head last summer, every single person mentioned how perfectly round his head is. Me and my husband would just look at each other and smile. He obviously wasn’t born with a round head. more like conshaped, bent from one side head.
I know what you mean, with three kids I got to be such an expert in making this pagri that, the side where the neck lies I would roll it less higher than the other end, and I would press it so that it was flatter (where the neck is) than the side where the head ends, as you use soft cloth, the cloth kind of sits down, so it does not interfere with the neck.
completely agreed .. thanks so much Muzna, the point is exactly as you and many others here said, if something isnt harming the baby and for their well being mothers take certain remedies then its all worth the effort. My sister had slightly curved fingers at birth .. my mom tied each of her fingers with a spatula and wrapped it with a bandage .. and Alhumdullillah that sorted out all her fingers .. but dad didnt let mom do the same on her toes coz he thought it was hurting her so much so she ended up having slightly curved toes .. and till date she is thankful to mom for making the effort to straighten her fingers .. somethings just got to be done ..
Saadia, thats a really helpful tip , thank you so very much I am gonna do that .. so when you say soft cloth , what kind of a cloth is it? I am thinking of using one of my cotton dupata’s ? is that gonna work? and how much height did you give to the pagri? and one last question, did you lay the baby on it since birth and for how long each day do they lay on it?
but those are pretty extreme examples, no? not everyone’s baby is born with the aid of forceps and of course, as a parent, if you see your kid’s head is flattening out, wouldn’t you then take steps, rather than worrying about it beforehand? seems to me there’s a lot happening in a pregnant lady’s life as it is without adding on worries over head shape. worries, that might, in the end be for naught.
I used this .. its a cotton cloth nappy, the size is just perfect. If you buy a pack or two, you can use as a burp cloth too, they are very handy. If you want I can send you them from here too. Dupatta should work too but it should not be very high, just enough that the baby’s head lies in it easily. Yes since birth, after we came home, first 4 months I did it, you can do it till the baby is 6 months after that the baby moves its head a lot, plus, the head is firm by that time. When baby would sleep, I would lay the baby on it. Sometimes I would forget, but thats not an issue, if u do it 2-3 hours a day, it would be enough.
One more thing, when breastfeeding, be careful not to have the baby’s head on your arm, as the arms are hard and the side gets a bit pointy, happened to me, so I was careful and then the pointy side went away.
thanks so much Saadia, really really appreciate all the valuable tips .. I have seen this cloth here in babies R us .. will buy that pack for sure , thanks so much for all your help
I am going to start practicing my pagri making skils now .. and great idea about laying the baby in the pagri while he sleeps , that way he wont feel uncomfortable either ..
The BF tip that you gave, so basically, if the baby’s head is not resting on my arm, then how will he support his head? specially if my arm is under his neck .. or do you mean I should support his head with my hand so that he doesnt feel the pressure as much?
***where u from? i m not married lakin apni bahteje ko bohat sambhala hai ese lie kuch pta hai. ager ap pakistan sy mei ho tu u know steel k bouncer us mei baby ko lita do bus wo jysy b ser rkhy ga shape thek he bny ge almost 6 month tak shape ban jate hai baby ki or ziada goud mei na uthana
our ped told us that pakistani ppl think parents should not hold their new borns too much, according to him that is wrong, children that little need to get a sense of security andbeing close to their parents help them feel secure.
CB, my MIL told me to support with my hand, it will help with a round head too, but as I get tired doing this, I used my arm as support with the outcome as I told you, a flat and pointy side, so either u lay beside the baby on the bed and breastfeed, or you put a normal pillow under the baby’s head when breastfeeding while sitting, or if you have a nursing pillow, its even better than you dont need any arm/hand.
I am gonna do that .. so when you say soft cloth , what kind of a cloth is it? I am thinking of using one of my cotton dupata’s ? is that gonna work? and how much height did you give to the pagri? and one last question, did you lay the baby on it since birth and for how long each day do they lay on it?
specially if my arm is under his neck .. or do you mean I should support his head with my hand so that he doesnt feel the pressure as much?