How Islamic is the Pakistani Rishta Process?

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Re: How Islamic is the Pakistani Rishta Process?

@PyariCgudia

I wish there were more non-Pakistanis that frequented here, and explained to us how muslims in other cultures do this. So we can realize how unIslamic we are in the process.

I just had to hand a rishta uncle, my age, my weight, my height, and my skin tone and pictures to back it up. That’s all that is getting forwarded to the families he knows. It makes me shudder that moms are making decisions on just that much information. I wanted to tell him my pros and cons in terms of my personality, but I figured, these moms probably don’t care about that information when they’re doing their initial screenings.

You guys do realize our rishta process is not just hindu/Islamic influenced, it’s also heavily Victorian. The kinds of shenanigans you see in our culture, heavily Victorian.

Um, I think even the Queen of England has moved on with her life.

PCG- The process has its own quirks in other muslim countries as well.

preferences are preferences, the abuse of that is the issue, not the preferences themselves. I dont see anything unislamic by someone having preferences, telling people what they are looking for.

people have a right to find someone who meets their criteria, whether its looks, earnings, education, language, age, etc
Now the criteria may be unrealistic, or has a negative impact on others (who may have their own criteria)

A certain person I know from the khandaan, rejected a lot of people because of their education and income (no one with just an undergrad, no one who is making less than $X/year) , while sadly other people were rejecting this person based on looks. did a number on self esteem of this individual. In hindsight maybe if those ppl never met and then walked away, it may have been better.

having preferences is not an issue, having too many specific demands, some rather dodgy demands and rigidity around those is the issue.
it just cuts down the available pool very quickly which for some people backfires because they can’t find the type of person they are looking for, and other good people dont make this short list because they were 2 inches shorter, or few pounds heavier, or 1 shade darker…$10K less income.