How Islamic is the Pakistani Rishta Process?

[soconfused]

Re: How Islamic is the Pakistani Rishta Process?

@Deeba1234

It’s much more similar to traditional Indian/Hindu culture.. In Islam the couple are supposed to see each other and make sure they’re ‘pleased’ with the other’s appearance.. that whole thing of seeing the person for the first time on the wedding day isn’t in our religion.. The parents aren’t allowed to just decide who we marry and we have to go along with it.. I’ve see posts in Islamic forums even now from Pakistani kids here in the UK asking if they’re allowed to say ‘no’ to their parents Also, it’s sunnah for the couple to exchange gifts, not act like they don’t exist because ‘people might talk’

Nothing wrong with talking before marriage in Islam as long as the couple aren’t alone.. again culture frowns on couples meeting even in public or with other family members there when they’re fine talking to other people of the opp gender on a daily basis for work etc. Isn’t it illogical?

The whole no-mingling AT ALL is crazy (and still happens a lot) and not getting to meet/see/talk with your spouse is the most unislamic part of it all. There is nowhere in the Quran where it says you have to bow your head and say yes to any rando stranger your parents try to shove down your throat. If you’re not happy, you can/should say no–RESPECTFULLY, of course. The AGENCY we take away from our kids–the people that are the ones going to be living with each other potentially–is the real unislamic part of the whole deal. Marrying a stranger isn’t condoned anywhere but desis tend to forget that because of our customs and “traditions”.

Re: meeting in public and whatever. Engaged couples or prospective spouses are nothing–some of my family back home refuses to let the nikkah-ed couple mingle or see each other AT ALL in public or elsewhere because the girl doesn’t have her rukhsati done.