How important is your social circle to you....

[redvelvet]

Re: How important is your social circle to you…

@Spiral

See that’s the thing. I am neither shy nor inrovert. I am actually pretty outspoken… and always the best in university in public speaking. Where ever I go, I make friends. Right now we are at a stage where I don’t think that our social circle or friends is important. I want to focus on raising my child and look after my husband’s needs. I am more confident and definitely have higher self esteem than my SIL… only thing is, she loves to invite people and go out for dinners and parties. I on the other hand, would rather take my son for a walk to a park or maybe cook something for him, or clean my closet etc.

It’s great that you have a healthy self-esteem…and if you believe that it’s “higher” than your SIL’s…than stick to that. Don’t let her opinion (that’s all it is) get under your skin and contradict this belief of yours.

I sort of disagree with the idea that you only want to concentrate on one stage right now (husband and son). I don’t think that attending parties and socializing is a “stage.” I see them more as just part of life. We can concentrate/tend to various things in life. It would be one thing if you had said that I’m at the “stage” where I just want to focus on my career and myself and I’m not ready for marriage…or if you had said that I’m at that stage where I just want to focus on developing my marriage and I’m not ready to have kids yet…since marriage and kids would be stages that would dramatically change one’s life. But attending a party and socializing are not a stage and they’re not that huge a deal…that they would hinder you from tending to your more major priorities (marriage/children). I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just trying to get you to think about it from this angle.

I’m not saying that you should be the life of the party and attend a function every week. I’m not advocating that you change your personality. But it’s okay to …once in a while…attend someone’s invitation. To participate in the happiness of others helps to form/strengthen bonds. You said that you want to tend to just raising your son and looking after your husband’s needs. Well…a husband’s needs can ALSO include his need to socialize/interact with those outside of his family and work, right? I don’t know how old your son is…but as a mother you do your best to help him develop in various ways (physically/emotionally/mentally/spiritually, etc)…but raising him also includes his social development too, no? Kids learn how to behave with others (peers/adults) by observing their parents interact with others. So, going to a party once in a while or socializing with others outside of your family…DOES…also meet the needs of your husband and child. They’re not isolated/separate…they’re connected.

Again, I’m not saying that you should go crazy and attend every single party and socialize with a friend every other day. I was just addressing your idea that that socializing is a “stage” and that it can’t be done alongside raising a family.