Re: How Important Is It to Marry . . .
In my informal poll, I found that that the most successfull marriages wer those in which people really cared for the other party. Marriage is not about me, my rights or I, it is about we, us and ours, the mature couples figure that out right away, and despite lifes ups & downs have that one common bond, the immature ones, try to play control games with one another. Marriage is inherently circumstantial, - pre-arranged rules and regulations rarely work. As a friend of mine once advised me love you spouse 100% and expect only 50% in return, - and if your spouse is a caring giving individual you'll be suprised what a magical thing marriage is.
most marital problems have to do with three things -Money, family and attitude, Loose the attitude before marraige, Make the spouse numer-uno in your list of priorties ( and if you do that - you'll see that he/she will care about you & your family)- and money, spend wisely.
The problem I have faced in pre-marital discourses is that bothg parties become inherently suspicious & guarded, and eventually develop the negotiation strategy, I'll do this if you do this,- that is the beginning of a long & miserable life. Instead I believe, one should form a very short list of things, which one is inflexible or uncompromising ( I meant a SHORT LIST) and then compromise on everthing else.
Of course it's your luck - if you find a nice & caring person. Damn I am still having problems :)
For me this is a gem of a post....
Thanks for reviving this thread Code_Red :)