When you marry someone from a different culture, the problems don't surface until you have actually started living the married life. Our culture expects, and sometimes even forces, the couple to interact with rest of the family members. If you're significant other is not familiar with the customs or rituals, it could be a struggle at best and a nightmare at worse.
Marriages consummated within culture face fewer hurdles when it comes to integrating into the family then the marriages consummated in cross-cultures. If a person comes across a propective mate from a different culture, s/he should consider the uphill task they will face in integrating two diverse cultures.
Nevertheless, cross-cultural marriages work. I have seen them with my "gunahghaar" eyes. :)
Marry the person you know you could relate to, the rest will follow automatically. Just be aware of them responsibilities that come with cross-cultural marriages.
In my informal poll, I found that that the most successfull marriages wer those in which people really cared for the other party. Marriage is not about me, my rights or I, it is about we, us and ours, the mature couples figure that out right away, and despite lifes ups & downs have that one common bond, the immature ones, try to play control games with one another. Marriage is inherently circumstantial, - pre-arranged rules and regulations rarely work. As a friend of mine once advised me love you spouse 100% and expect only 50% in return, - and if your spouse is a caring giving individual you'll be suprised what a magical thing marriage is.
most marital problems have to do with three things -Money, family and attitude,
Loose the attitude before marraige, Make the spouse numer-uno in your list of priorties ( and if you do that - you'll see that he/she will care about you & your family)- and money, spend wisely.
The problem I have faced in pre-marital discourses is that bothg parties become inherently suspicious & guarded, and eventually develop the negotiation strategy, I'll do this if you do this,- that is the beginning of a long & miserable life. Instead I believe, one should form a very short list of things, which one is inflexible or uncompromising ( I meant a SHORT LIST) and then compromise on everthing else.
Of course it's your luck - if you find a nice & caring person. Damn I am still having problems :)
marriage is a very beautiful event that can happen to anyone. being with the right person is essential.
it is necessary to be able to know him or her with full confidence, kindness, mutual regard, care and honesty.
this is a friendship, which always will need trust and grace t be truthful to each other.
same culture matters in a huge way, so that your spouse may speak easily to your parents and is able to be a strong partner as a couple's example for community's sake and the couple's own sake for timeless bonding that cannot be broke by anything in the world.
similarly, religion will matter if you and your spouse follow it carefully.
culture will matter, as long as you follow its good values.
difference in these things' effect on the off spring and the couple's own relationship can be really telling as they will trickle in the absense or presence
of the same.
things can go either way, yes, in case of a marriage between a couple that has differing backgrounds.
but when things grow out of proportion, and are GROWN out of proportion, then the best efforts to save any marriage or to build one on gentler and genuine grounds, will go amuck, when language, religion, culture is perceived to be the same, when actually it is worse or the same in ignorance and deceit, greed and doubtfulness so on and so forth.
All marriages are hard work, but inter-faith/caste/race/culture/class take all the more effort. And I believe that they do work out. All depends on the people involved.
So my conclusion is its not so much as problems arising from inter-faith/race etc marriages. I believe its more problems from inter-personality relationships. If you are in synch with each other ... even if you are different backgrounds and have different likes and dislikes... you can make anything work. If you respect each other individuality you got a great thing going.
My two cents from my experince of different background relationship.
What if the person is of the same religion but does not share the same cultural influence that you have grown up with?
What if you both have different mother tongues?
How will these things impact the marriage?
How will these things impact the offspring?
And finally, are the circumstances changed and can one expect the results to vary for females as compared to males?
may be they have different Mother Tognues, but they should have atleast one language both can speak, if not both will remain dumb in the house
everything depends on the understandings between both and every couples is different
nahi to...
pehle TV se shuru karo,agar ghar pe ek hi TV hi,they will fight to watch TV of their mother tongues, each want to other to follow their cultures and
beech me bachhe marenge, aur jab unke shadi ke time ayega tab, then they have another topic to fight
But they will be a good pair.. good entertainment for Neighbours
here are the real life examples i have seen
one of my friend married to his collegue, they are both same religion but different castes, their languages are different and culture is also different both are from different states, both are living happily.. it all depends on understanding between them
