Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
i like rings , engagement or wedding both. i still wear my engagement ring sometimes. if ur friend wants one her fiance should def get her one. although rings don't make relations strong but if someone finds it imp her partner should comply with her wish.
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
Reha, you post was so heart-felt.
When I got 'engaged' I got a kara which belonged to my mother-in-law. A few weeks later we had our nikah and that's when i got my ring. A couple of people did ask why I didn't get a ring and my response was that in my culture, rings are not 'necessary' when getting engaged. I got something that belonged to his mom, which her late husband had bought for her. I think that it's more special than the gorgeous ring I got later on.
wow...very well said and so eloquent.
Thank you.
Reha, you post was so heart-felt.
When I got 'engaged' I got a kara which belonged to my mother-in-law. A few weeks later we had our nikah and that's when i got my ring. A couple of people did ask why I didn't get a ring and my response was that in my culture, rings are not 'necessary' when getting engaged. I got something that belonged to his mom, which her late husband had bought for her. I think that it's more special than the gorgeous ring I got later on.
Absolutely.
I dont want the OP to think Im against rings or that Im trying to get everyone to jump on the morality train. I think they're a beautiful gesture but in reality...thats all they are...a gesture some cultures of the world recognize and some dont.
Our parents didnt really focus on rings too much. Maybe because its an arranged marriage, the OP's inlaws did what was customary in their khandan but a ring isnt necessary to them...which is really fine.
She should spend this time getting to know him better and definitely not make the ring a subject of argument or discord. Once they're married and a lot closer, he will realize she wants a ring and may gift it to her later. Its better that way.
Asking, pushing, hinting, demanding, etc. right now might get met with some raised eyebrows.
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
I totally agree with Reha, rings are just a gesture, a statement to indicate that you are taken. Not all cultures place a big importance on them, however they seem to be getting more prevalent amongst desi's too.
Diamonds become worthless if your partner himself doesn't treat you right. My friend who has been separated from her husband (to be ex soon) was given a ring costing almost £1,500 GBP and there was a big hoo-ha amongst her family about how much the guy had spent on the ring and how much he must love her to spend so much . It now sits in the top drawer of her dressing table.
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
rings should just be a gesture ...not some compulsion
the situation is a little difficult. but maybe the girl's fiance had a genuine reason for not giving a ring on the engagement. or maybe they dont do it in their families.
how about she wears any ring she feels like on her ring finger. she's engaged and that's what matters. :p
what i also don't like is how people keep asking about the weight , inquiring about the ring being diamond or fake ..
that's plain shallow IMO!
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
yh i agree with the posters that said rings don't show how much ur loved, however i dont think anyone is stupid enough to measure their worth by the size of a diamond but i do get where my colleague is coming from. in pakistan and pakistani culture rings are not a big deal but here its the norm and i think she just feels a bit left out and i kinda felt sorry for her. thanks to all those who shared their views... and Duffy if ur out there reading this im still waiting to see ur special ring pillow lol
rings should just be a gesture ...not some compulsion
the situation is a little difficult. but maybe the girl's fiance had a genuine reason for not giving a ring on the engagement. or maybe they dont do it in their families.
how about she wears any ring she feels like on her ring finger. she's engaged and that's what matters. :p
what i also don't like is how people keep asking about the weight , inquiring about the ring being diamond or fake ..
that's plain shallow IMO!
that is such a tacky thing to do
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
Well said Reha!
Like the other posts, it depends on how much value you give it. For my ring, I really, really wanted my fiance to pick it out himself. But he was like your going to wear it on your finger for a very long time so I want the input from both of us. So we picked it out together. My ring isn't exactly a rock and my fiance said that once we're in better circumstances he would buy me a bigger ring but I think I might just keep on to it. I dont wear mine everyday as I work in a microbiology lab ;-) but whenever I go out, I always make sure to have it on. I know that had I not gotten one, I would have been upset because everyone dreams of getting a ring big or small and sometimes it just takes awhile to get one ;-) I also agree with Reha, you won't a big diamond if your hubby isn't great.
i didnt have an engagement, so no ring, but neither is or was important to me as its nothing to do with religion, just culture and copying other cultures.
however,lol, i really do want a wedding ring, i dont want anything extravagant, just something both me and hubby will have to show we're married :) i dont intend to wear it on any particular finger, my left hand is more my ring hand lol.
Lol im still heeeere! im trying hun to post the pic, but its not showing up 
it cant be due to file size or pic name, as i resized it in paint and the name is a single letter 
ill try again!
I agree with all the girls who have posted about the ring not being the all important thing..although i would’ve been upset at not getting a ring in all honesty BUT not becuase i wanted to show my ring off or boast about it..but because i had been looking forward to my engagement for such a long time and the ring was an integral part of that process 
Now when i wear it, its like a constant reminder that Im in this beautiful relationship with him Alhumdulillah i love my ring, its not a gigantic rock or anything nor do i feel a ring needs to be pricey or huge to be special..I completely agree that ones relationship with your fiance/husband is way more important than any symbolic gesture..jewellery etc can be bought and sold but a true, faithful and committed relationship is everlasting and priceless
jewellery etc can be bought and sold but a true, faithful and committed relationship is everlasting and priceless :)
very well said and so true :)
Here you go, lipstick. This is Duffy’s cute ring pillow.
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
I know I am not saying anything new or different from what has already been said but here is my 1 1/2 cent, it is all about perpective and priorities, I didn't have one, never really thought I needed one. But it is ppl around the person who engaged who put silly things in their mind(most of the time) one girl at work got engaged she got a tiny lil wiered looking ring, but she was extremely happy but you should have seen others reaction when they saw her ring, it was sheer mad disappointment but that girl looked totally satisfied with what she had on.
So hopefully u will be able to put things in prespective for your friend and tell her not to lose heart, if it is SO important to her, tell her to have a talk with him, or keep pointing others nice rings and he may get the point :) but might be difficult esp if it is arranged shadi and/or the guy or his family are a bit desi types. (sorry not trying to create sterotype issues but usually desis are a bit more touchy about such things)
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
I got engaged last year, I didnt get a ring, it wasnt something we discussed at the time and to be honest i wasnt even expecting one at that point, when people asked about my ring, I told them we will be exchanging them on the baraat, i told them that was how his family did things but to be honest, i have never really been too fussed about the whole big engagement ring idea, so when friends asked, it was easy for me to brush the subject off, i think if its important to your friend then maybe she should mention the idea of exchanging rings on the wedding day? I can understand why she would feel that she shouldnt ask but sometimes with men, they need to be given a little hint! maybe he just didnt think about it and noone from his side mentioned it to him either? even if its not in his family tradition, if he knew how she felt he might surprise her?
:k: :k: :k: :k: :k:
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
Thanks Mahi! 
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
^ thanks for posting it duffy and mahi! :) i love the roses on it
Re: How important is an engagement ring to you?
very nice thread and some very thoughtful posts up there. I got engaged 6 months ago and insahllah will be getting married in about a month n half with this amazing guy. I didnt get any ring and sometimes i wish that i had ring..but it doesnt matter to me. His mom n dad got me diamond neclace ear rings and rings on my graduation so whenever i go out and feel that i want to tell the world i am taken.. i just wear that ring. And sometimes i just wear my own artificial ring worth 10$ in that finger....
ring only symbolize that you are engaged.... it doesnt matter who gave you... but inshallah after marriage i will ask him to get me a diamond ring :-)
recently a girl I met thru work got engaged to a guy her family introduced her to. her baat pakki happened a couple of few weeks ago and last sunday they came to her house for a small party and she was expecting to be given a ring by her fiance... he didn't give her one and now she's really quite upset over it. she said she doesn't feel engaged cos she doesn't have anything on her finger. she announced her engagement at work by bringing in a box of chocs and the other girls immediately looked at her hand to see her ring... but of course she wasn't wearing one and that upset her even more. she doesn't know how to approach her fiance about this and feels that she shouldn't have to tell him that he should be giving her a ring. she doesn't feel right asking him for a ring
soo my question to u ladies is how would u feel in this situation? would it bother u and how would u handle it?
for those of u who have engagement rings pls describe it and post a pic if u have one! ;)
what eventually happened with your friend lipstick? did she ever get a ring?