I recall slightly touching upon this in another thread some time ago and it’s ben floating around in my head–
Exactly how far would you extend your friendship, especially when they lead a life that goes directly against your morals/ethics?
Just as an example, you have a friend who beats their spouse/child(ren).
Or one who sleeps with married men.
Does it matter to you how your friend leads their personal life? One could argue, that you choose to surround yourself wiht positive/decent people and while we accept htat no one is perfect, there’s are certain lines that shouldn’t be crossed.
Or, do you feel that as long as they have not wronged YOU, it doenst matter what htey do in their private/public life?
I have my own thoughts on this but I"d like to hear from you all first…
Hmmm, I believe if my friend starts doing such things in her personal life,thinking about which may irritate me,but it doesn't really harm,I would end my friendship with her,doesn't matter even when it's my best friend.
Hmmm, talking of someone who beats their spouse, I would wonder if I could use my friendship to influence them into stopping the beating. Or look past that and think if I stop being friends with them, it wouldn't stop them from beating up spouse... I don't know. I don't like spouse beaters...
Would I stop being friends with someone who sleeps with married men?
I've been put in that situation, I didn't stop being friends but I did state my views about it. I eventually distanced myself completely from said friend bcos she was asking for trouble and bringing problems upon herself simply bcos she would not stop trying to be the mistress, even when the man wanted to end it. Bcos of the problems she brought about herself, she needed a shoulder to cry on and I refused to be that shoulder.
^ it could be ummm any abhorrable action in your books, like cheating spouse, someone who cheats on their taxes (i guess if ur a very passionate accountant), had an abortion, anything really--
The thing is, one of hte tenents of friendship is htat we should always be there for htat person, through rough times and good times. But how far does that go? I know some will say, if you drop someone for doing something in their personal life, that makes you self-righteous and a pretty lousy friend.
I'm sure [insert name of most hated person in history] had a friend too.
Would I stop being friends with someone who sleeps with married men?
I've been put in that situation, I didn't stop being friends but I did state my views about it. I eventually distanced myself completely from said friend bcos she was asking for trouble and bringing problems upon herself simply bcos she would not stop trying to be the mistress, even when the man wanted to end it. Bcos of the problems she brought about herself, she needed a shoulder to cry on and I refused to be that shoulder.
let's add a little twist to this scenario, what if you were married or had been cheated on previously? She had nothing to do with it but it COULD have been her?
Well, I'll be honest, if I my husband cheated on me, I would HATE all women (or men!) who are involved in affairs and eventually wreck relationships, even if it was my best friend.
However, since I have not experienced this (and I do hope that I never am put in that situation) I am more detached from these emotions. But remembering the mess that my friend got herself into AND the mess that I was dragged into bcos of her, in the future I would think twice before continuing my friendship on the same degree of friendship, I'd probably limit contact.
to cheat anyone either he is male or female it's a corruption and corruption must be eliminated from the minds or friendship with corrupt people no matter if he/she is ur best frend must be finished!
^ it could be ummm any abhorrable action in your books, like cheating spouse, someone who cheats on their taxes (i guess if ur a very passionate accountant), had an abortion, anything really--
The thing is, one of hte tenents of friendship is htat we should always be there for htat person, through rough times and good times. But how far does that go? I know some will say, if you drop someone for doing something in their personal life, that makes you self-righteous and a pretty lousy friend.
I'm sure [insert name of most hated person in history] had a friend too.
Sure, that is a given, HOWEVER, when you realise that a friend is taking the micheal, and that she knows that you r going to be there for her to pick up the pieces, no matter what she does, you HAVE to draw the line somewhere, otherwise this friend is going to have a licence to cause havoc.
I have been thinking of the same question lately as I have a friend who is doing stuff without her parents' knowledge when she already is in a very complicated and delicate situation.
I tried to talk to her a few times but she got agressive and annoyed at me leaving me hurt that hey I am not the one getting into trouble here but just trying to help her out and she wont even realize my intentions. So I was annoyed for a few days thinking that is this worth it, spending time with her acting like her shrink.
I think grown up ppl are capable to see the difference between the good n bad and even when their good friends are clarifying it for them and they wont listen, theyn y bother wasting time and energy on such ppl?
On the other hans it is also difficult to let such ppl contiue with their outburts as you know the consequences and they might not be clearminded to see what might happen to them....its a difficult question
I personally wont be friends with anyone who does anything that i think I wont do, and by that i mean the above mentioned things in SARA`s post, however there is only a certain limit that you can go to advise them as well as advise them of the outcome.
I believe in being there for friends when they need you, but when you friends are asking for trouble and doing immoral things consciencely, then I'd keep my distance from them. Afterall, you are known by the company you keep.
I believe in being there for friends when they need you, but when you friends are asking for trouble and doing immoral things consciencely, then I'd keep my distance from them. Afterall, you are known by the company you keep.
I recall slightly touching upon this in another thread some time ago and it's ben floating around in my head--
Exactly how far would you extend your friendship, especially when they lead a life that goes directly against your morals/ethics?
Just as an example, you have a friend who beats their spouse/child(ren).
Or one who sleeps with married men.
Does it matter to you how your friend leads their personal life? One could argue, that you choose to surround yourself wiht positive/decent people and while we accept htat no one is perfect, there's are certain lines that shouldn't be crossed.
Or, do you feel that as long as they have not wronged YOU, it doenst matter what htey do in their private/public life?
I have my own thoughts on this but I"d like to hear from you all first.......
We all understand and respect other's differences and knowing that everyone cannot be just like me, I do have friends who have different lifestyles as we do. However, if I am aware of any immoral or unethical acts, I will definitely step back a bit or actually quite a lot because I hate to be part of or support anything that according to me is not right. I don't want to be in a position to have to do that.
It has happened before and it's OK. We are all responsible for defining and setting our limits.