How does a 'halal' date take place ?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

If it isn't with a mehram present it ain't kosher.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

To be honest I'm not aware of all the technical details, I've read the hadith about where two people of the opposite sex are alone in a room together, the third person is shaitaan, which is why we're advised to avoid that sort of situation happening at work etc. Does that apply to two people sitting in a crowded coffee place? I don't really know but in that context it feels okay to me, especially since it's just being done to verify/approve the other person as a partner.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

I personally date and am fine with it. At the end of the day the only person you need to convince is yourself if you are happy with the decisions you take. As for the religious aspect. I base my comments on the fact the distinction between mehram and na mehram. Women have to always be accompanied by a mehram in Islam. That would be the same for a date I believe. Secondly the hadis you quoted. There is no definite location where Islam says "Dating it be bad". But there is enough one can gather from the various teachings.

My pet peeve is when people cloak haram activities in religion. If you are break the rules of the faith by all means have the balls to accept you are committing a sin.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?


No, cousins can't be mehrams.. Islamically speaking it has to be someone you're not allowed to marry..

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

Well there ya go. You can't have a date with the brother or father in tow.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

I've heard... I don't remember from where... that if a woman likes a certain man... she can send him a proposal through someone or even send him a letter stating her interest since it's permissible in Islam. So keeping this in mind sending e-mails for the sake of knowing each other shouldn't be wrong right...?

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

If I recall correctly a woman can propose to a man. That is what Hazart Khateja did. However I doubt you can e-mail someone ask carry on a 20 month on line relationship and call it kosher.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

halal date; an oxymoron

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

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You completely misunderstood me. This was a response to you thinking MSN, texting etc., are safer . If abused these methods of communication can be as detrimental as going out with someone physically. Of course, I don't mean two people would jump at 'it' the minute they are alone on MSN or out in a coffee shop unchaperoned.
When I read the terms 'haram dating' I thought the thread opener meant getting to know a potential spouse in the most appropriate way. From what little I've know in terms of what constitutes as appropriate when it comes to Islam is to have a 3rd person around be it going out physically, on the internet, phone etc because these are all avenues that could be abused and it's best to be safe.
I'm in no way trying to insinuate that humans are just sex-starved animals and will jump on each other the minute they get a chance. I was merely trying to tell you what is advised to be as more 'appropriate'.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?


Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) did get engaged, it's just something that desis aren't keen on.. 'It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to ‘Aa’ishah. (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4793). And in al-Saheeh it also states that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to Hafsah.' (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4830) In Islam an engagement signals the intention to marry and that the other party is already 'spoken for' so others should back off from proposing to them..

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?


Yeah, Khadija sent a proposal to Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) so women proposing is defo allowed.. There are mixed opinions on emails etc, some say it's ok but a lot of others say it's not as it obviously often results in flirting and so on.. The proposal thing is different as it's not prolonged (usually) and tends to be done with the full knowledge of family or others.. I have heard some scholars say it's ok to email ur fiancee if their guardian gives consent and it is strictly for marriage purposes but others say it is forbidden.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

The intention of this topic was to try to understand the perspectives and views of people regarding this matter and know how they make decisions in their life by keeping themselves within the boundaries of their faith. Specially those people who have limited support but they are serious and sincere in taking this important step of their life. I don't have the right to judge anyones intentions, because only Allah (swt) knows what difficulties they are going through in life. Anyways, some good input, mashaAllah. JazakAllah khair for sharing.

By the grace of Allah (swt) I have parents to make this decision for me. I myself am happily married (arranged) Alhamdulillah and have no such plans for future. So, it is not reasonable for anyone to judge that I am trying to twist the religion for my benefits.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

I wasn't referring to you. I was referring to the wankers that do what is against the faith and they incorrectly quote or blatantly misquote faith to appease themselves.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

There is a problem with getting families involved and giving a formal proposal without knowing what other person is looking for. Rejection from either side can be very injurious to heart.

Also in West, a Muslim community center is the best controlled and supervised enviroment for introducing people and getting the rishta process started. Aap kaun si dunya mein reh rahe hain.

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Re: How does a ‘halal’ date take place ?

something to go with Halal date… http://nonalcoholicwines.blogspot.com/

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

'halal date'/ going out to meet a potential spouse/ meeting/ pootatoes/potaaatoes/pekora/samosa:P
........ who cares about the terminology? Looking at the responses, I think majority of these 'wankers' already know they can't go out just for the fun of it or they find themselves fancying someone and want to have a good time with them without the intention of marriage.
There is NOTHING wrong with seeing someone after knowing that both have the intention of getting married and want a few things clarified to make sure its a compatible match or not. Yes granted it's done in a proper manner where a third person is involved in the process. I don't really see how going out bowling or seeing a movie can help with determining that but nothing wrong in meeting in a public place, masjid, parent's living room, coffee shop etc., as long as there is a third person so it doesn't lead up to flirting, talking about things that aren't related to the marriage process itself. I remember an Imaam saying that it should be very much like a business meeting. You know what you're bringing to the table, see if it matches up to the client's expectations and what your expectations are from it, keep it very serious and formal and if it doesn't work out. Thats it. You move on. Who cares about what people want to call it! as long as you're doing what's right and knowing you're doing it according to what's allowed in Islam.
What would really bother me is for someone to say they date (the real kind?) while knowing they're bending and breaking the rules but are okay with it because at the end of the day its about you convincing yourself that you're happy with what you did (now I'm really risking the wrath of many loyals who are in such high reverence of this guy I'm quoting) but anyway, if you want to do this right you need to ask yourself if what you did is what would please ALLAH. If you went out with this girl, were your intentions right? did you make sure you avoided any leg room for sins even though nothing happened. Did you make sure you did your best to avoid it. The end doesn't justify the means. You can't tweak the system around!

WHO gives a biscuit about what it's called.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

halal or haram, doesn't matter - my kids will not be allowed to date.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

I'm no scholar but I can safely say all contact with na-mehrams is haraam. That includes online chatting or facebook friending. If you have mutual friends on facebook thats probably technically haraam too since its indirect contact. In fact if you are on facebook, that could be haraam too because you support a system of western inter-mingling by generating ad revenue for facebook.

Islamically speaking, you could try proxy dating. Find a person who is na-mehram for both you and and the person you want to date, ie your sister. First have your sister hang out with your date. Then have her come back and pretend to be your date. No na-mehram contact. Problem solved.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?


The thing is marriage is NOT a business relationship. There are a lot of things that you do for each other that have nothing to do with profits and gains. It's not clear cut and dry like that. Find a partner for life is important, otherwise marriage can be an incredibly lonely institution, and it is for many.

I'm not talking about physical contact and sexual relations. I'm talking about understanding each other's sense of humor, getting a sense of weaknesses and strenghs, interests, how you will balance each other and fulfill each other. I know that can't be found it in a few meetings, but things like bowling or other activities, sometimes in groups, give you a chance to see each other from different perspectives. My feeling is that there is nothing wrong with that. But perhaps I'm a silly little coconut who has fallen too far from her palm tree.

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Re: How does a 'halal' date take place ?

A double date!