Re: How do you trust people these days in arranged marriage process?
You allowed her to treat you like someone that could be used for sex. You learned from that mistake now you know not to get physically involved until you are at least 90% sure that the person will be committed only to you.
As long as you aren't still on the same path of being attracted to girls like her that gives no value to your time and no respect for you then you won't pick girls similar to her...hopefully
Re: How do you trust people these days in arranged marriage process?
Tell your next rishta this story and see how they react.
It would probably help you know them better.
Re: How do you trust people these days in arranged marriage process?
Did it occur to you that if the girl you get married to is loyal and decent, and she finds out about you sleeping with another woman, what she will have to go through? Then why do you expect her to be loyal?
I know plenty of women who do not wear hijabs and the family is not super religious but they still don't go around sleeping with other men. You have no right to paint every girl who is considering you as a potential. through an arranged marriage, with the same brush. Arranged marriage or not, every relationship requires being honest with each other, forgiveness, mutual respect, trust and time to build.
Get over yourself, not every woman is going to consider you a great catch given that you have been sleeping around with someone. It's a big NO NO for many.
You and your family should talk with the family and the girl. Talk to her in private, see how she acts around everyone and when you guys are talking in private. Her mannerisms, family background, ask any common friends or whatever about the family. Talk to her about your future plans and see if she shows any interest. Ask her about her future plans and how you both can make it work together. In the end, you just have to trust Allah to make it right for both of you and pray to God.
You can know know someone for years, but it is a different experience altogether once you start living with them. That's when you REALLY get to know them and there will be little things that you will not like. That's when the relationship building kicks in. My best wishes with you, hope you find the right partner and make a great team together. ;)
Re: How do you trust people these days in arranged marriage process?
Nope you already PM'd me, I just joined last month..who knows truly why she did what she did, I still don't know, like I've said I'm over this girl, I came to seek advice for the next rishta..how do people go about trusting a person they barely know? Clearly one year wasn't enough..
My rishta to marriage process happened within 4 months!
My family and I didn't know him or his family either but today, I can confidently say he is the "right one" for me. I just had a little chat with Allah that I think this guy fits the "acha larka shadi ke liye" image perfectly. Family background, education, personality, mannerisms. What really impressed me that even in his mid 20s, he came nicely dressed up. Kind of showed he is serious so made an effort. Any guy in a hoodie and shorts would have been a NO right away. I know it is not a job interview and may sound silly, but I like people who make an effort to see me. :D
My family thought he was great, but the scary part was not knowing him still. So, I just prayed to God to make it right for me. There is a Hadees I believe in: Tie your camel and trust in Allah. So, I was done tying the camel, rest was up to Allah.
Re: How do you trust people these days in arranged marriage process?
@gupshupper. Best thread ever yo! Spoke my mind.
Re: How do you trust people these days in arranged marriage process?
What if she actually is decent and whatnot as you portrayed her to be but because youve slept together, she's feeling guilty and scared and thats why she ended it?
Did you both speak again after she left you?