How do you know if he's the one?

[Thornewood9]

Re: How do you know if he’s the one?

@htmwrites

You would be surprised at the number of people who DON’T think these things through. I get your point of view, i get how people might want to bring forward their best possible self and have answers prepared but only those who want to mislead and lie to others prepare false answers and perceptions. The good people always answer truthfully.

Obviously, it would be stupid to take their word for it, hence all the investigation that goes down via parents.. you know, corroborate all their answers to actual real life (talk to friends family, neighbors, people who don’t necessarily have to lie for them or can speak truthfully about them).

That aside, almost every guy i’ve talked to for the rishta process (to be fair i’ve only met 2 so far, lol, so not much of a statistic here), did NOT have answers prepared. There was one who had literally no idea what he wanted in a wife, let alone what he had planned for the next 5 years. It was a HUGE turn off for me because i personally am a planner and an organizer. Plus, what kinda 30 yr old doesnt plan his life? I couldnt get past that and their irresponsibility so i said no to the rishtas.

In essence, i would love to be able to talk to someone without showing any interest to marry and just talk it out with them, get to know them without them ever knowing i am interested in anything. However, that would only work if i had a whole list of random guys around me who i chat up every day and get to know them. Its not how it works culturally, that’s just dating, isn’t it? When your parents introduce a guy to you, it’s already understood the both parties are interested and want to get to know one another. It’s by kismet that you either find someone so vindictive that they lie to you, or so straight forward that they answer all questions truthfully.

I’m quite simple minded that way, i answer everything truthfully and to the best of my ability so i hope and pray the other person does too, the rest i’ve left to Allah. I try and make the most of the situation i am presented with and see how it goes from there

Lol its true actually. The first rishta I saw the guy asked me “Do you like cats or dogs?” I kid you not. And he had no idea either what he was looking for in a wife. The second one was even worse. He actually came out and told me that I wasn’t really his type. Most of the time people can’t help being who they really are.
My husband was the third rishta I saw and he knew what he was looking for and he communicated it to me really well. Alhumdulillah Allah is the best of Planners. Will keep you in duas also you should read Musa AS dua after every farz namaz and then ask for a good spouse. Inshallah its a very powerful dua.

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ (28:24)
rabbi innee lima anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeerun
“My Lord! Truly, I am in need of whatever good that You bestow on me!”