How do you go about managing daughters' interaction with Uncles etc

Deeba1234 · June 12, 2015, 4:55pm

Re: How do you go about managing daughters’ interaction with Uncles etc

again…each case needs to be addressed individually. if you take 5 children, each aged 12, you may find significant differences in their levels of maturity.
my daughter is 12 and easily passes for 17…she’s 5’5" so only an inch and a half shorter than me now. I have no issues with her receiving and showing affection to her father or her uncles but I have to admit that seeing her in any man’s lap would make me slightly uneasy…more so because she is so lanky and it would look odd, I guess.

I was brought up with the philosophy that when sons and daughters “are able to match your gaze” then they are old enough to be taught respect and modesty in the way they carry themselves. This was a very broad lesson and included things like not sitting with your legs outstretched towards another person, sitting on the floor if someone elder has chosen to do so, etc. All I did was started this teaching a bit earlier because I noticed that my daughter was more mature than others her age.

Agree with the first part of your post about maturity.. I also wouldn’t want my future daughter on any random guy’s lap but a hug or similar with friends or family would be fine with me..

In our household we were very informal.. I haven’t been taught that legs outstretched towards another person is inappropriate or sitting on the floor if an elder has chosen to etc. I often sat with my feet up on the sofa (regardless of whoever was there) and even called some of my younger aunts by their first names (my younger sibling and cousins always only used my first name as well).. As I mentioned my own father is affectionate by nature and one of my grandads is like that as well (he always gives a hug when we arrive and leave) so that’s probably why I’m quite laid back about it..