How do you go about managing daughters' interaction with Uncles etc

[Muzna]

Re: How do you go about managing daughters’ interaction with Uncles etc

@Jolie

I don’t know what the definition of ‘physical’ is here. I am an Aunt, and I do pick up and peck my niece and nephews whenever I see them. What can I do - tell their parents that make sure your kids don’t jump on me every time I walk through the front door? But so far, hugging your niece and nephews is not an annual Eid day event in our family.

Long long time ago, I briefly worked with Child Protection teams for Research purposes, and yes we came across some horrific cases where the children were abused by their own fathers, grandfathers and siblings. There were also some cases where Mothers simply wouldn’t trust their children’s biological fathers, i.e never leave the child alone with the dad. Obviously, traumatic childhood experiences of mothers were taken into consideration. Then you also have cases of abuse that take place in nurseries and schools by staff members.

So just remember that there is self indulgent paranoia and then there is having awareness and taking all the necessary measures for your child’s safety. Instead of being overly paranoid of everyone and anyone around your child - as some things are truly out of your watch - the best strategy is to ensure that the child is absolutely 100% aware of the level of appropriateness when it comes to affection - and there should be same rules for both male and female child. And the child has this confidence that he/she can share everything and anything with you, and you will protect them, respect, understand and believe whatever they tell you and keep them safe - no what anyone says to threaten them. No matter how close or important that bad person is that they want to talk about. Of course, don’t leave them unattended with strangers and relatives you don’t trust.

As with relatives, use your common sense and know there’s a difference between brushing your hand on child’s head, tapping their cheeks or giving them them a little peck on their hand in a certain context, and holding them so tight and smooching the crap out of them. I’ve seen people do that, and to be honest, that does look pretty inappropriate.

THIS