There must be times when someone tells u something, especially in a mariage where islam has certain rules about husband and wives, and certains things i find i dont want to agree with which saddens me and scares me and i wonder if im really a muslim or just born one…i easily get annoyed at certain rights men have over women, why? some things dont even make sense, as in why should we have ask permission to leave the house, i dont do it but islam says we should, and islam says other things too which in todays world is hard to swallow. what do you do…how do you come to terms with it…sensible answers only pls..
also another question based on this
if a husband cant aford to buy his wife a seperate home, as islam says she can have, and he lives with his parents, which islam says she doesnt need to, what should the wife do…if she wants to live seperatly…now mind, that the wife is not using her islamic right, just wants to know what can happen in a situation like this where islam gives the wife the upper hand here.
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
Most of the people might not like my answer because there are A LOT of westernized influence people here .. but i have write to say my heart out ..
There are couple of things i can start with to answer your question but i wun go in details.
First of all, keep one thing in mind that islam teaches modesty :) .. and secondly, try to think if things that you don't like about islam are really your "personal" choices or they are westernized influenced thoughts. I am no one to judge your personality but i can see pretty influenced things in your post. Give sometime to yourself and think.
I am not a scholar, I have tried to study islam as much as i can and i believe, their is nothing which goes against a "rationality" of a human. every single thing in islam makes sense and is pretty logical. if we are not understanding it then its either we are outta our mind or we don't have that wisdom to understand the depth of it .. :)
to answer your question: read my 3rd para again .. islam teaches modesty :)
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
Firstly let me say there are often times when as a muslim your faith is tested and there maybe certain aspects that you may not hold strongly as others. We are mere human, we can but try to uphold Islamic rules as much as we can, of course we are a fragment of how even a muslim should be when compared to Muhammed Salilah Vasalam (pbuh) and his family/other prophets. I pray that we are all better muslims. In short yes you are not alone to have these thoughts and feelings.
MashAllah women have many rights over their spouses/parents and in general in Islam than any other religion. The second question would require a great amount of comprimise and understanding in ones relationship you cannot just use islamic basis.
Without understanding in a marriage the above would just fail - it would also depend on the marriage/family logistics. The problem is when one islamic rule is applied, people fail to apply the other, therefore its always what rule suits me best, not what rules should I adhere to and instill in myself.
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
There must be times when someone tells u something, especially in a mariage where islam has certain rules about husband and wives, and certains things i find i dont want to agree with which saddens me and scares me and i wonder if im really a muslim or just born one......i easily get annoyed at certain rights men have over women, why? some things dont even make sense, as in why should we have ask permission to leave the house, i dont do it but islam says we should, and islam says other things too which in todays world is hard to swallow. what do you do.....how do you come to terms with it......sensible answers only pls..
also another question based on this
if a husband cant aford to buy his wife a seperate home, as islam says she can have, and he lives with his parents, which islam says she doesnt need to, what should the wife do.....if she wants to live seperatly.....now mind, that the wife is not using her islamic right, just wants to know what can happen in a situation like this where islam gives the wife the upper hand here.
islamically, if guy cannot afford separate house then he should not marry at all.
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
men by nature are wild animals. if it were up to them women would be their comodity (they are infact to a certain extent) i dont think i should get into the details since it is very obvious. eg why do women wear high heels.
the wisdom behind laws and restrictions (by Islam) on men and women is to counter this very idea. they protect men and women, and prevent them from turning into animals. keeping this idea in mind, compare muslim women to non-muslim women and you may find yourself on a better side
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
Nadz :k: this is an awesome topic!
I agree with you, sometimes i myself come to know of some things that the Quran says and i try and see logic and reason behind it because at first thought, i don’t get them. I think it’s perfectly ok because Islam is a logical reason and wherever there is logic, there will be an intellectual activity i.e discussion. Only when you go thru this discussion and understand the logic, you will end up believing the thing more honestly:). So i think we all should indulge in such healthy discussions as they only make us come closer to the truth and believe it with all our heart and soul and nothing beats that!
Beautifuly said :k:.
That doesn’t make sense AT ALL. This way half of the people would be left unmarried.
Why do they?
I am lost. I think you probably made a wonderful post but it went over my head .
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
It sometimes feel strange when we think about certain rules prescribed by Islam. But if we look closely, Islam has set rules for both men and women. If women are not allowed to go outside withtout the husband's permission, men are made responsible for all the household expenses and for fulfiling every need of his wife and children. Thus Allah Swt has done justice and if we think Allah has been unfair to women, its wrong.
If we think women are given less share in inheritence, we should not forget that her husband (who is someone's son) will be getting double share than his sisters. Thus each husband and wife will be getting their share of inheritence from both the sets of parents. So this makes it fair.
P.S. The issue of asking husband's permission is debatable and many of us don't agree to this, but I have read hadiths and some people here have problem with me if I quote some hadith.
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
...If we think women are given less share in inheritence, we should not forget that her husband (who is someone's son) will be getting double share than his sisters. Thus each husband and wife will be getting their share of inheritence from both the sets of parents. So this makes it fair...
the wisdom behind sons getting 2/3 of the inheritance is the fact that Allah has made man "qawwaam" [provider] for his family so obviously he needs more to to fulfill his obligations while daughters get less because they are NOT responsible for the family's provisions. whatever she receives in inheritance is her's and whatever she makes thru employment is her's and she is NOT obligated to share her wealth with the family UNLESS she voluntarily wants to spend whatever amount she likes...now, that makes sense?
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
if one can not afford the expense of marriage and martial life then it is not allowed to make such commitment.
Not being able to afford seperate accomodation is not same as not being able to afford the daily expenses. There is a vast difference between the the two. That's why Islam says the wife can demand a seperate accomodation ONLY if the husband can provide it. It DOESN'T say the guy can't marry unless he is in position to afford seperate accomodation for his wife.
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
Not being able to afford seperate accomodation is not same as not being able to afford the daily expenses. There is a vast difference between the the two. That's why Islam says the wife can demand a seperate accomodation ONLY if the husband can provide it. It DOESN'T say the guy can't marry unless he is in position to afford seperate accomodation for his wife.
i would like to see original reference of islamic text. please do provice hadith/quran/opinion of aalim from fiqh book.
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
A suggestion by scholars is that when a guy goes out to marry a girl, he should only bring a girl from the same or lower economical status so the girl can adjust to his lifestyle faster.
I've seen this happening that guy is from Laloo Khet, moved to USA and got an Engineering Degree and ended up marrying a girl from Defense Society. Now the poor girl who was raised with 10 servants in her house is forced to live in a 1 bedroom apartment with one Toyota Camry that hubby drives, and in laws come every year to stay for 3 months in the same one bed apartment. Not only that, because the guy is from lower middle class, he is obligated to send $1000.00 every month to elevate the lifestyle of his mom and dad at the expense of downgrading the lifestyle of his wife.
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
the wisdom behind sons getting 2/3 of the inheritance is the fact that Allah has made man "qawwaam" [provider] for his family so obviously he needs more to to fulfill his obligations while daughters get less because they are NOT responsible for the family's provisions. whatever she receives in inheritance is her's and whatever she makes thru employment is her's and she is NOT obligated to share her wealth with the family UNLESS she voluntarily wants to spend whatever amount she likes...now, that makes sense?
Yes that perfectly makes sense. I have heard women saying that Islam has been unfair to women and they usually give inheritence example that women are not considered equal to men. But they don't understand that men have more responsibilities than women and this justifies the inheritence law.
Same applies to other rules and if women are considered to be receiving unfair treatment by Islam, there is some leniency put on women and responsibility put on men which make things balanced.
Here are the things which are convenient for women:
Its not Farz on women to pray in mosques in jamaat whereas it is farz for men.
Household expenses and responsibilities of wife and children is not on women. Its on men.
A wife can ask for compensation for breastfeeding the child from the husband. She can also demand separate living and maid.
Women are eligible for haq meher from the husband whereas men are not.
All the marriage expenses are onto the groom and not the bride (Islamically)
I am sure there are many others as well which I don't remember at the moment.
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
When we blame any Islamic practice for one reason or another, 99% of the time its one of the following case
Practice has nothing to do with Islam instead its the custom of land.
Our lack of knowledge of Islam does not allow us to understand the logic behind the Islamic ruling
Lot of unconfirmed/unreal information is fed to us about any topic from jali 'scholars'
If you are really serious in getting the reply of your question and not just ranting about it, I suggest your contact some real Islamic scholar (and not any Imam shahab). I am sure he will not only describe the logic to you but will also help you understanding the relation, rights and responsibilities in husband-wife duo.
As far as I know logic behind 2 to 1 division of wealth is that man is responsible to provide bread (i.e financial needs) to the family while whatever girl gets its her to spend and she is not made responsible to provide bread to the family. But as I said, dont take my words. Contact some Islamic Scholar on the issue who will be able to satisfy you.
Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?
When we blame any Islamic practice for one reason or another, 99% of the time its one of the following case
Our lack of knowledge of Islam does not allow us to understand the logic behind the Islamic ruling
My take is that more than the knowledge of logic, it requires submission to follow the rulings of islam. I mean, what is the logic behind 4 rakat of Asr but 3 of Maghrib? Maybe there is some logic, but I am going to submit to that ruling and follow that instead of trying understand the logic or to argue. Same goes with any other rules of Islam.
.
.
