How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

[Ashy2010]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

@TLK

My take is that more than the knowledge of logic, it requires submission to follow the rulings of islam. I mean, what is the logic behind 4 rakat of Asr but 3 of Maghrib? Maybe there is some logic, but I am going to submit to that ruling and follow that instead of trying understand the logic or to argue. Same goes with any other rules of Islam.

Yes, Islam doesn't want us to use our mind in trying to find the logic of everything prescribed in Islam. Our mind can't cover the logic of why Allah Swt has prescribed certain rules. But in order to make people aware that women are not treated unfairly by Islam, we have to mention the leniency offered to women in Islam.

Even if the divorce right is given to men, women are also entitled to this right. Thus, we can say that women are NOT treated unfair in Islam.

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

@TLK

My take is that more than the knowledge of logic, it requires submission to follow the rulings of islam. I mean, what is the logic behind 4 rakat of Asr but 3 of Maghrib? Maybe there is some logic, but I am going to submit to that ruling and follow that instead of trying understand the logic or to argue. Same goes with any other rules of Islam.

Well most the time people think "why" when they are dealing with each other (like in the case of Nadz Husband & Wife). Its there where people have urge to know about the logic behind any ruling and not why we have 3 or 4 rakats.

Islam its self does not stop people from asking questions (even though it asks people to submit fully). Now a quest to find out logic does not mean that people should stop following the ruling.

[TLK]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

@Decent_6Chora

Well most the time people think "why" when they are dealing with each other (like in the case of Nadz Husband & Wife). Its there where people have urge to know about the logic behind any ruling and not why we have 3 or 4 rakats.

Islam its self does not stop people from asking questions (even though it asks people to submit fully). Now a quest to find out logic does not mean that people should stop following the ruling.

reminded me of a hadees where prophet said with displeasure (paraphrasing) that 'asking "why this" and "why that" is the trait of yahood'.

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

@TLK

reminded me of a hadees where prophet said with displeasure (paraphrasing) that 'asking "why this" and "why that" is the trait of yahood'.

I am not aware of such Hadees (I have to check) and also we have to look at the context because there are 2 types of questioning

1) Questioning the rulings to learn (or understand)

2) Questioning to challenge

2nd one is of course not encouraged/allowed.

[_RestLess]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

It's true, Faith takes you where reasoning fails.

But I think its good to be curious, ask questions, and sincerely search for answers. Every question ... opens some new doors.

[TLK]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

@ZareenKhan

I always thought it was good to question. I wonder why displeasure was shown for it :(?!. .

Trying to develop understanding, and questioning something, are 2 diff things. I am sure that prophet was referring to the later.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

You raise the topic of the right of a woman to her own space after she's married.

Islamically, she has a right to her own space, not necessarily her own house. If financially, the husband can't afford a house (which let's face it, most muslim men live in poverty or close to poverty conditions and so they can't), then he should provide her an individualized space within the home he already lives in. In other words, their bedroom can be a no-go area for the rest of his family and he can build/create a cooking space and dining space in that area. An efficiency within a home, so to speak. If that's not possible or if it's distasteful at least their bedroom can be off limits, and his family needs to respect that.

Let's face it, desi families walk into a couple's room like they own it, because chances are, they do.

I don't know what to tell you. If muslims were in a better economic position globally, these would be petty issues, because men could afford to buy their own homes. Granted, the population here is educated on GS and generally will have decent jobs if not already, so this will be a non-issue for most of us. But statistically MOST MUSLIMS in the world are not financially able to buy their own homes, I bet.

And here's my personal two cents, that don't have much to do with scripture. I used to be pretty resistant to joint family systems. However, I can tell you that nuclearization of the American family has it's downsides too. We see little old ladies and little old men that have to live on their own without kids and it leads to geriatric depression, poor management and mismanagement of medications, injuries and falls around the home, etc. If there is family around, the chances of all this are decreased (not entirely, my grandmother fell over her grandkid and broke her backbone, and died within 3-4 years later from mobility problems).

You have no clue how many people misread their meds or get confused about dosages and timings of meds and then land themselves in the hospital really really sick. And it always angers me when I find out there is a family member nearby who just isn't interested in being around that elderly person. We hire nurses to take care of our family members but we don't do anything ourselves.

Hate to say it, but I officially plan on keeping both my parents and my inlaws in my home if I can help it.

[Lusi]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

Wife should get a job and support her husband if she is so desperate to live separately when husband can't afford.

[DaffyDuck]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

@Ashy2010

Yes that perfectly makes sense. I have heard women saying that Islam has been unfair to women and they usually give inheritence example that women are not considered equal to men. But they don't understand that men have more responsibilities than women and this justifies the inheritence law.

Same applies to other rules and if women are considered to be receiving unfair treatment by Islam, there is some leniency put on women and responsibility put on men which make things balanced.

Here are the things which are convenient for women:

• Its not Farz on women to pray in mosques in jamaat whereas it is farz for men.
• Household expenses and responsibilities of wife and children is not on women. Its on men.
• A wife can ask for compensation for breastfeeding the child from the husband. She can also demand separate living and maid.
• Women are eligible for haq meher from the husband whereas men are not.
• All the marriage expenses are onto the groom and not the bride (Islamically)

I am sure there are many others as well which I don't remember at the moment.

There is one thing i don't understand as well. Please explain if any one is more aware of it.

If the ratio of inheritance had been kept equal what damage could there have been? Instead of the extra that the husband has got, the wife would have got that from her home as well. Thus, making the total some what same and no issue of biases or discrimination as is felt by most. Of course there are reasons for everything but some times, not making us a bad Muslim, the evident difference between the rights is disturbing and the reasoning provided doesn't satisfy.

[Ashy2010]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

@DaffyDuck

There is one thing i don't understand as well. Please explain if any one is more aware of it.

If the ratio of inheritance had been kept equal what damage could there have been? Instead of the extra that the husband has got, the wife would have got that from her home as well. Thus, making the total some what same and no issue of biases or discrimination as is felt by most. Of course there are reasons for everything but some times, not making us a bad Muslim, the evident difference between the rights is disturbing and the reasoning provided doesn't satisfy.

KKF has previously explained the logic behind the inheritence law in Islam. If man is entitled to have more share in inheritence, he has to spend the money on wife and children whereas whatever the women will get as inheritence, she will spend on herself only with no financial responsibilities. In this case, we can say that there is also a discrimination as why men are made to spend on his wife and children and women are not asked to spend on her husband and children.

@DaffyDuck

But the men are given such strong rights that women even if they demand these things dont really get them many a times. e.g. my maid's husband is a heavy drinker, gambles and does not give her money for her or the kids. Firstly, she wouldnt even have the right to divorce as easily as the man himself would be able to. She may be physically abused but what can she do about it etc.

One of our aunt's maid was being sold/rented by her husband to other men. What could she do about it? There should be such strong rights that place the equality to a level that men themselves would have been scared to take any such actions.

We the educated women still have some rights but those below the poverty level are living a life no one can imagine. Like its clearly mentioned that the man has EVERY POSSIBLE SORT of right over their wives, some more stronger rights placed would have suppressed the men from doing any wrong doings.

Rules and rights are very balanced in Islam. Its because men are made stronger physically and women's qawwam (provider) that they have started taking things in their hand and have forced women unnecessarily which make us think that the Islamic rules don't favour women and we are being ignored and left helpless by Islam, which is NOT the case. The examples which you mentioned show the complete disturbance of the Islam prescribed family system. Besides, the law and order system of our country should be strong enough to implement Islamic laws in order to protect the women from such men. We shouldn't blamce Islam for not catering to women's needs. We should blame our society and law and order institutions which are unable to implement what Islam has prescribed.

Joint living is not encouraged by Islam. But majority of our newly married couples still start their new lives in joint family. If we change this, majority of the women's problems will solve (women as DILs, MILs and SILs). Similarly, if Divorce right is given to a girl at the time of nikah, she can easily come out of a bad marriage (as in the examples provided by you). If we start conducting marriages according to Islamic way, women and their families would be saved from giving dowry and spending lavish amounts on marriages (since nikah is required to be simple with just dates and valima expenses is on the groom).

Thus, if we truly start following Islam, we can save ourselves from many problems. But our society norms stop us from completely following Islam.

[psyah]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

Peace nadz123

This would have been a good topic for the religion forum ... I didn't see this until now ...

People have given some great answers mashaAllah ... I would like to present a few things also ...

Islam and various injunctions and requirements all effect us in various ways which stem from some fundamental things that I think we should understand ...

a) Habit
b) Nurture
c) Self-worth
d) Intellect
e) Conviction
f) Shaitanic Whispers
g) Tawfiq

Now it is a valid question to ask "Am I a Muslim or was I just born in to a Muslim family?" Consequently I believe it is a fard on me to understand my faith, and one of the first questions I asked myself was "Is Islam the truth?" If we haven't asked this question and then answered it then we leave a gap in our defense system that can be exploited. So it stands for reason that to learn about our faith more specifically our 'aqeedah is fundamentally required and since it is required it is a fard.

Some of the things we do are out of habit and we get used to that some of our thinking patterns are due to the influence of the societies we live in and are exposed to ... not all of these will share the same values that are portrayed in our texts, on the other hand the same text can be viewed through the specs of various cultural norms and using the same text we can arrive at harsh interpretations that are quite restrictive and then we can arrive at easy interpretations that are quite liberal ... it totally depends on the slant we take when we read the texts.

As a result of this ambiguity it is often important to let the experts decipher the true and accurate picture ... however we are able to do some of it ourselves as well ... What we should do is think about the most strictest view and then think about the most lenient view and then think about what could be the middle path in that ... Islam is on the middle path.

Sometimes we need to consider that perhaps some of the things we like are against Islam and some of the things we don't like are Islamic and it is a process of training ourselves to accept this and then to conform to those requirements.

The modern day and age teaches us to "worship the self" it is all about "me" and this is completely against the idea of being a "Muslim" which is all about "Allah" ... Even to ask the question "what benefit is it to me?" shows a type of nurturing process that sets the ideal condition of "selfish gain" as the indicator for what is "good" ... This coupled with self-worth and education in the deception that we are capable to discern for ourselves our own fate and wisdom is not beyond us leads to our conditions today.

The fact that you feel upset shows that you "want to agree with Islam, but the condition of your inner state prevents this" - this should be enough for you to realise that some sort of "action" is required from you.

a) Seek knowledge and work out a viable solution (You are already doing this).
b) Train your heart to accept what it currently cannot accept - this is called tazkiyyah

Islam is about asking how we can fulfil the rights of others - however this age has us preoccupied with demanding our rights from others. When these two come together we get a cesspool of confusion. The simple answer to many questions is merely to "let go" but then the Shaitan may whisper "why let go, you are being treated as an inferior person you should ask why" ... the hidden problem in this is that we do not realise that "inferiority comes from within ourselves" - and the idea that inferiority in worldly matters being a bad thing is a condition without basis ...

Pray to Allah (SWT) to remove such torments from your mind and enable peaceful and perfect obedience from you. Put effort towards finding answers and then accept them on a sound basis - i.e. scholarly context ... and then continue doing your thing ... Remember also that although there may be a condition that is permissible ask yourself whether it is indeed "better" or not ... Always set your sights towards "bettering" yourself ... this does not mean that you become harsher, but that you are better able to be obedient to Him. There are four cardinal virtues which teach us to be brave (not reckless or cowardly), wise (not foolish or zealous), tempered (not lustful and not bitter) and just (not unjust).

Seek knowledge from cradle to the grave ...

[Naabigh]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

islamically, if guy cannot afford separate house then he should not marry at all.

well I dont agree with it .... considering the current time and era - if we follow your statement , then half of the desi population would end up being unmarried ... Islam as a Practical religion cant emphasize on such things as a pre-requsite for marriage ...

where Islam says ....

You shall encourage those of you who are single to get married. They may marry the righteous among your male and female servants, if they are poor. GOD will enrich them from His grace. GOD is Bounteous, Knower. Quran . [24:32] ]...

[hareem01]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

[mod]Please avoid getting personal when discussing an issue.[/mod]

[Niksik]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

There must be times when someone tells u something, especially in a mariage where islam has certain rules about husband and wives, and certains things i find i dont want to agree with which saddens me and scares me and i wonder if im really a muslim or just born one......i easily get annoyed at certain rights men have over women, why? some things dont even make sense, as in why should we have ask permission to leave the house, i dont do it but islam says we should, and islam says other things too which in todays world is hard to swallow. what do you do.....how do you come to terms with it......sensible answers only pls..

also another question based on this

if a husband cant aford to buy his wife a seperate home, as islam says she can have, and he lives with his parents, which islam says she doesnt need to, what should the wife do.....if she wants to live seperatly.....now mind, that the wife is not using her islamic right, just wants to know what can happen in a situation like this where islam gives the wife the upper hand here.

Well, the wife needs to stop being so unreasonable and stop asking her husband for things he can't afford. Why does the wife remember all her Islamic rights but none of the responsibilities?

[Afshi]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

for those of you who complain about how Islam treats women unfairly and blah blah, check out Dr. Jamal Badawi's lecture about Gender Equality and Equity in Islam.

Ultimately, all our actions, duties and responsibilities, for both men and women, and no matter how superiour/inferior one might feel about them, they all will have the same Reward in the end. And what we recieve at the End of it all, is our ultimate desire.

there is wisdom in everything that Allah SWT has ordained for us, and you just have to accept it.

[Afshi]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

im saying both men and women have to accept it.

the men should know the responsibilities he has over his mother, sister, wife, daughter etc.

and the women should know their responsiblities to her parents, husband and children.

[Afshi]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

in my opinion, the people here who are ranting and raving about Women's rights and responsiblities in Islam should educate themselves. Speak with a learned scholar, read books, etc, and then make statements. This is for both men and women, Muslim and Non Muslim.

[lethal_kamikaze]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

[note]
Thread reviwed and unlocked. for your patience.
[/note]

[lethal_kamikaze]

Re: How do you feel when you dont agree with bits of islam?

Thank you

@hareem01

[mod]Please avoid getting personal when discussing an issue.[/mod]

Peace All,

The month of Ramadan is just ahead and this is a month of blessings as Allah imprisons evils and allows us to seek forgiveness. Pray and gather as many blessings as possible. During this month, Allah listens to all prayers and offers greater blessings than any other normal day in Islam. Lets prepare for it.

**Book Fasting of Sahi Bukhari Hadit No. 128
**
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle said, “Allah said, 'All the deeds of Adam’s sons (people) are for them, except fasting which is for Me, and I will give the reward for it.’ Fasting is a shield or protection from the fire and from committing sins. If one of you is fasting, he should avoid sexual relation with his wife and quarreling, and if somebody should fight or quarrel with him, he should say, ‘I am fasting.’ By Him in Whose Hands my soul is’ The unpleasant smell coming out from the mouth of a fasting person is better in the sight of Allah than the smell of musk. There are two pleasures for the fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the time when he will meet his Lord; then he will be pleased because of his fasting.”