How do You Define Backwardness?

Lifestyle Relationships
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we were talking about our engaged cousin that she talks to her fiance on the phone after her engagement.i said she shouldnt talk with him because he’s not her husband.:(… my cousins and even my mom think its ok if she talks to her fiance :smack:i asked to mom,why i dont feel that its OK? they said,“because in these matters you’re backward”.i was shocked…backward:no:
:aq:…so Am I Really Backward?:naraz:

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

it depend person to person.. there is nothing bad if she talks to her finace .. i think this helps to understand each other before getting married. i did the same before getting married and this talking helps me a lot to understand my future husband and in laws

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

Yup!

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

Not backward, but jealous. LOL

Why wouldn't you want her to talk to him? What's your reason?

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i am not jealous…whoa.not at all.seriously…:bizz:
bas mujhay yeh cheez pasand nehi hy.when i’ll get engaged,i’ll,definitely,not be doing this.
you know koi CHARM nehi rehta .:halo:

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Well good, when you’ll get engaged don’t do this.

This is not you though, it’s your cousin. And even her parents are OK with that, so who are you to say she shouldn’t talk to him?

I still think that you’re jealous, but my opinion shouldn’t matter to you.

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

i was not like US LARKI KO BAAT NEHI KARNI CHAHIYE or I DONT LIKE HER SO SHE SHOULDNT TALK TO HIM…no…no..i was just talking about my point of view that i dont like this thingi and mom said i am backward.
now i ,simply,want to know if i dont like means i am backward…???

anyways…we both have joined GUPSHUP almost on the same dates and the number of posts are same as well:cb:

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

go people:chai:

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

yes you are backward. if just talking to your fiance will lead to "lack of charm" then what the heck are you gonna do a year after marriage when u've been living together and are sick of seeing each other's face every day. i mean...are you gonna like sleep in a separate room as him so he doesn't smell your breath in the morning (kyunke charm nahi rehta) or maybe even eat dinner separately because you dont want the charm to disappear. lol. these are things that aunties say because they basically dont want the girly/guy to get in a fight n break off the engagement. once you're under a nikah n there's noooo easy way out no body gives a crap where the charm disappears ten minutes into a marriage.

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

yes i think ur right theway..bohot ziyada baat karne se charm nehi rehta ur rite..and no this is not backward..

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

If she doesnt speak to him, How will she get to know him? After all shes gonna spend the rest of her life with him. Your not. When you get engaged If you dont wanna speak to your fiance then dont. But if shes ok with it and the rest of her family, It really has nothing to do with you. And backward as in its not 1900's anymore where you blindly go into a marriage. Its best she gets to know him before signing her life away.

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

what is meant by charm ne rehta? what charm you guys are talking about? i been engaged for 8 months and we used to talk daily, we laugh we enjoy and still after marriage we laugh we enjoy and we have a lot to discuss.. so what charm jo bat kerny sy khatum ho jata hay?

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exactly...i am 100% against this "charm" notion because ppl made such a big deal out of it when my n fiance (now hubby) wanted to hang out before marriage. i think when ppl say charm they mean that filmy thing where you imagine n wonder and dream of what the dude is like or the guy just day dreams abt how funny or cute or girly or loving the bride will be once they're finally together. n how they'll both run around fields singing bollywood songs when they're together in there oh so charming life! there's nothing wrong with hanging out and getting to know each other. yes that day dreaming charm stuff will disappear but it will be replaced with LOVE and UNDERSTANDING and real joy.

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since shariah does not allow it i think we shud refrain from it.

charm nahi rehta … on this i dont want to comment.

but recently someone has created thread that my husband is no romantic as he was happened to be before marriage in the capacity of fiance . as per my observation too much premarital interaction of a guy and gal in the Pakistani society generally adversely affects the relationship of husband and wife.

coz i have seen many women whining
"hi allah pata nahi kia ho gaya hay… mere husband shadi say pehlay to aisay nahi thay … laikin ub tu bahut hi badal gaay hain "

i think in majority cases Pakistani guy in a role of fiancee/ lover Vs husband act very differently.

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

Backwardness is a label of the people, for the people, by OTHER people.

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agree :D

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:smack: i,here,am talking about THAT sort of CHARM which i’ll feel when i’ll meeting or talking to my other half FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME and that will be the day of our wedding.i,simply,would love THAT feeling.don’t you feel it cute.:wub:

thanx God…aap ko samajh aa gae mein kis charm ki baat kar rehi hoon:D

yeah,it isn’t 1900’s but islamically we aint suppose to do that.

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

girls do talk to there future husbands but their same husbands say mujh se baat karti thi tum to zaroor kisi aur se bhi karti ho gi…i have heard from other people about this issue after marriage.:mad:

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

this is really pathetic.. men who believe this they are Mentally Sick.. if fiance ever said this kick him and move on.. rather then spending the whole life with a jerk

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Re: How do You Define Backwardness?

Once a day , may be ok , but if they are stuck with phone like 24/7 then its insane .