How do you deal with this then?*kanjoosi*

[nadz123]

Re: How do you deal with this then?kanjoosi

@mistral

Do people actually do that in real life? 'Cause that would be awesome. I thought it was reserved solely for monty python sketches.

My mistake. In your initial posts, you said you don’t speak to each other for a while and then things are back to normal in a day or two so I assumed that’s how long you go without talking to each other. But even if it’s a few hours…it’s still not good because you’re not actually resolving anything. You’re simply moving on without discussing the issue. Not healthy.

How do you explain without it seeming like you’re crying/complaining? DON’T cry, first of all. Not always easy to achieve…some of us are emotional beings and with pregnancy hormones wreaking havoc, it can be even worse. But find a way to do it…pray 2 rakat nafil, drink some ice cold water, take a long walk to release that stress…find a method that works for you and then use it!

And then learn to pick your battles. You can’t force him to buy stuff for your family…buy it yourself AND be generous with his family as you would like him to be generous with yours. And then hope that with time and by watching your good example, he too will make some positive changes. As for the calling his family thing…stay out of it. He’s allowed to talk to them as much as he wants. Just as YOU should talk to your family as much as you want. Are you worried that he doesn’t spend as much time with your family? Then take the high road again by making it a point to give his parents a call every once in a while.

It might take a while, but you should see changes if you lead by example rather than constant discussions/arguments. Your husband obviously isn’t immune as he felt some embarrassment when your brother treated everybody to dinner. I suppose McDonald’s ice cream isn’t the most extravagant gesture, but it’s a start.

I dont want to lead anymore, im sick of offering stuff, being all nicey to his sis and bros, they are lovely, but its not that anymore. i just dont want to bother trying now, before i would ring them myself once a week, now i dnt feel like it, because i see that he dosnt try as hard with my family, so why should i. i cant be asked maybe because im hormonal so im mmore sensitive than i would usually be, but even if i wasnt preg, i would still be very angry at this huge imbalance. and before wedding, when he was trying to woo me…so to speak, i wasnt interested in him, he would buy me stuff, he would come home ( as he was living at uni but he wouls be around alot) with stuff for me, from where he worked, he would buy me anything he thought i would like, now its bit different, now i have to say or he will buy only for bdays/annioversaries not like he used to before marriage. he still gives me money but i always get the feelings he thinks its his money, not ours, cos if its was our money he wouldnt call me fazool karch all the time…im beginning to think spending money on my family is fazool to him, but money on his own family isnt…