What if there is a person who stops talking to you if you do something wrong (intentionally or unintentionally, or maybe from your perspective you didnt even do anything)? This person doesn’t shout on you, and doesnt blame you apart from maybe two three words, s/he just cuts you off from their life.
Now if there is a person who verbally accuses you, you can fight it out with them and let them vent their anger. At the same time, you can clear your position. But if there is someone who just stops acknowledging your existence, and you are living in the same house as them, what do you do?
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
I don’t think their is a universal rules or methods for these things. It depends on the personalities of the people and the type of relationships they have.
If the person in question is a family member, sort things out even if it is not your mistake.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
The person in question is kind of difficult. Its not easy to reason with them, and to be honest I am tired of this trait. But at the same time its uncomfortable to avoid someone who is close to you.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Every individual is different than others and only you can decide how to deal with the situation because you know the person and you know how important that person is for you and whether s/he is worth fighting for. If s/he is, keep trying, if not just let it go.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
I would confront them, as I obviously would know seeing as they’re living in the same house as me. I would try to solve the issue and come to speaking terms again, because I don’t think you should ever be in a position where you don’t talk to an individual, no matter how close, or not you two are, or what the problems are. You only need to act civil.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Acknowledge their feelings, apologize for hurting them even if it wasn’t intentional..not the time to put up an ego or try to prove that you were right..look at the end result, if something you did that hurt them and that’s how they viewed it, you should be the one apologizing regardless of intention. Let the person vent while you keep quiet and acknowledge their feelings. Just keep apologizing eventually they’ll soften up once they get over it–may not happen immediately so keep that in mind.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
^Agreed.
Some people can’t deal with conflicts or confrontations that could be emotionally too overwhelming. I am very much like that. I will disappear into the shadows and not show you my face if you hurt me one too many times. Some people like to talk it out, some don’t. Trust me when I say this, this is probably bothering them more than it is bothering you.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Growing up, we were never taught to say sorry. Sure, I do say sorry when dealing with others, but at I home I cant bring myself to say sorry to anyone. I have other ways like talking to them, being funny…anything to cheer them up.
But this one person is soo moody. And sure this time what I apparently did has screwed up something for them, but other times he metes out this treatment for the most trivial of things. I am kinda getting tired of this, and this time I don’t even care. The only bothersome aspect is that we live in the same house.
But surely you only do this when someone hurts you, and only occasionally. This person does this every other day, sometimes with me sometimes with others. I am getting sick of it.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
No, I do it all the time too. Most of the time it has nothing to do with anyone.
Is this person a loner? If so, don’t take it personally. I am sure they are not even aware that you expect them to interact with you. He/she might be lost in their own world. If he/she was never like this before and does this to other people too, he/she could be depressed. If it bothers you so much, say what you need to say to them and leave it at that.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Well then you need to suck it up and learn how to apologize for the sake of another person’s feelings..itll go a long way in more ways than one..trust me learning how to apologize and acknowledging some ones else’s feelings will help tremendously in your marriage in the future
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
first of all, id try to make some effort to reconciliatory action a few times
finally, if that fails, then during the process it would be clear that person has completely other priorities, values and intent and you are/can not an efficient part of it
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
loner to an extent only. I did that…I explained to him that I didnt do it intentionally, but he is still sulking.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Like I said, I can apologize to others- friends, relatives, anyone but not to my family members. But I have my own way of saying sorry. I tried clearing my position, but his behavior is still the same.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
I did it twice but they arent ready to listen so ok, whatever!
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Let him sulk, nothing wrong with that just keep throwing out olive branches on occassion. If there is precedence to him feeling hurt or betrayed by you this will be a longer process of reconciliation and he may not be viewing your apologies as sincere even if you are being sincere. Be self reflective, instead of blaming him for being difficult even if he may actually be, think about your own behavior and why it’s being intrepreted that way. It’s easier to blame others, takes a lot more effort for introspection to analyze ones own behavior and actions.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Gem, your way of reconciling (cheering up, making jokes) may not be what the other person feels comfortable with. Maybe they’d rather hear a sincere apology if they feel that would provide them with closure. Cracking jokes and trying to cheer up someone who is upset at you can give them the impression that you are dismissing the mistake and that maybe you’d commit it again. If he’s getting miffed at you and others often…then sounds like he’s a sensitive person. Take a look at what kinds of comments and behaviors trigger his moodiness and try to avoid them. Although in a family, there should be a bit more tolerance/laxity or dar-guzar with each other because it’s also not healthy to get upset at loved ones so easily and so often and this is something that might be brought up very gently at a later point…but this depends on the relation and age of the person. Elders are more set in their ways and may be more sensitive about certain things…so it’s better to be mindful of triggers and avoid them as best as u can. But for now…apologize to him.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
I am not blaming them, they just drag it for too long. Where else I over look most of their mistakes.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Like I said before, no culture of saying sorry in my family. Cheering up the one you hurt, or clearing your position is how I do it. Which I did.
What others often dont realize is that when they are naraaz too long, its emotionally draining for the one they are mad at.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Just because a certain practice is part of a family’s culture doesn’t mean that it’s always right or sound etc. And even within a family not everyone has the same personality or way of doing things. Despite being a family member, maybe he prefers to hear an apology instead. Even if he doesn’t come around right away…at least he knows that you acknowledged his feelings and mistakes as opposed to sweeping then under the rug which is how it can feel if one responds with jokes and cheering up. Don’t exhaust yourself…say sorry…be polite and caring…but don’t persistently hound him with efforts of cheering him up…I think thats wearing u out…and it’s not working right? So apologize..be nice..but back off a little bit. What do u think?
It can get exhausting if we try to do something in our own way as opposed to what may work better for the other person. And yes, you have a point too…that it can get draining if one is often unyielding. But try your best on ur part..try something diff since the same method is not working.
Re: How do you deal with a person you hurt unintentionally and unknowingly?
Trust me when I say this he isnt expecting a sorry. I mean to apologize you dont always have to say sorry explicitly, there are other ways to say it too.
No, I stopped after explaining myself after 2,3 times. Whats exhausting me is the fact that maybe he thinks I am not sorry or I dont care. Meh, whatever.