Re: How do you choose between 2 families/rishtas.
@ Sehrysh that's crazy!!!! Did he actually tell you all that about himself? I would think that most people would want to keep these bad habits quiet until after the marriage is done! Scary!!
@ ificanhelp, I come from a similar family background, the guy and girl don't talk before the marriage.. But my parents gave me the option to talk to the guys. I've talked to a few guys and the more I do, the more I think that the old way is better.. as long as the parents do all the research.
I suggest you do istikhara, check out the links that people have posted, but also check with your local imam for the best way to do istikhara. Also, don't go by "the girl will eventually become like her mother" theory.. I know for sure that's not true in all cases! Trying to have your female family members talk on your behalf is ok but be very careful perceptions. Try to think of how you see your life in a few years time and then see which girl fits best from what you know about them.