diwana
October 19, 2013, 4:22pm
28
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
It’s a situation of me thinking a guy that i’ve been with not too long a couple weeks, thinking I could trust him, he just seemed like the type that would never cheat on me. There weren’t any red flags especially about being faithful. Then again we weren’t nikaahfied or anything but I was thinking he was the one for me since I thought I was careful with not being emotionally attached and being practical and looking at compatibility. I found out that his parents already planned marriage for him with some other girl, his family members were congratulating him about not being able to wait to plan the wedding under comments for a new picture he had posted in his facebook profile and I find this out not from him but when I had reopened my Facebook account since I had totally deleted my account about a year ago and he knew that.
After asking him over and over again and him saying no that he wasn’t talking with any other girls except me, the truth finally comes out when I told him that I saw it on Facebook. He finally vomits out everything about how he was messaging and emailing a girl from his home town that was a marriage match for an arranged marriage. I see myself as someone that is not cut out for relationships after this. My body was completely shaking with jealousy and pain when I saw her Facebook profile, I guess i was emotionally attached to him deep down and had hope for something with him. Blocked both of their profiles from facebook and I’m not accepting any messages, calls from him even if he called 8 times and left voice messages like it’s not a big deal. He’s basically dead to me since I trusted him, didn’t expect this from him. He said his hands are tied and that he has no choice with this because his parents are strict about the girl has to be from his hometown or some BS like that. Some of these desi men are such cowards. I guess mentioning me to his parents was never on his mind. I just didn’t think it would cause so much pain for me since I was practical about it or tried to be practical.
I’ve handled blocking him out completely. So, hopefully nobody writes that I should’ve seen red flags…I was careful. I just didn’t expect to be so emotionally invested in it. It actually feels good writing out the whole incident on GS instead of keeping it to myself. I just want to show him i’m happy and this hasn’t effected me one bit. If she wants him she can keep him. I just want to be up and exercising again and wiping out any memory of time I spent with him. If I see him again in town or at the religious events, I want to be able to show him I care less and i’m happy. If he sees that I’m completely broken up over this, he wins in this game of life.
GlobalGal:
I should focus on his good points? There were a lot of good points but he lied about not talking with this other girl though. I didn’t see him as someone that i wouldn’t be able to trust. It goes to show you that people are not always what they seem. Some are very very good liars and once you find out that they’ve been lying all that time, you never really see them in the same way anymore. they’re like strangers.
He keeps calling because he wants to talk things out but there’s nothing that I want to talk to him. He’s some other girl’s husband now in my mind.
Sorry to hear about this. But you should think, as you yourself are realizing, that life is about losing some and gaining some.
Roughly two weeks of relation and talking on Facebook, should never be taken so seriously.
You might be a loving and emotional person when it comes to opposite sex relation but that may be considered a little over the top for many other people, men and women.
Being lied to can be a hurtful experience no doubt about it. The person feels his or her trust is broken. Most people do learn from it to not trust everyone so fast.
There was no need to block him so much or be jealous of other girl. Just relax.
What you still have is YOU. Make the most out of YOU.