Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
So how would it affect your self esteem if the mirror's reply points towards el topo bhai?
el topo is male? :(
If so then I will hug 'him' saying Eid Mubarak Yaa Akhi!!! .. very tight and crack his bone...I mean the mirror!! :D
J/K
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
So basically you are accepting here that you are mirror cracking material. 
And el topo is no male? 
sorry el topo baji 
and sorry global baji for derailing your thread. :sid:
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
I’ll crack mirror if I see el topo standing next to me as a man. 
Yes I will. 
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Diwana wants to hug me <3
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Best thing one can do to bring the self esteem back is focus on the good things that person has done in past or think about what that person can do good in this world in future.
Everyone has ability to provide benefit to others and self esteem is built on making others happy.
It all comes back to that person eventually.
I should focus on his good points? There were a lot of good points but he lied about not talking with this other girl though. I didn't see him as someone that i wouldn't be able to trust. It goes to show you that people are not always what they seem. Some are very very good liars and once you find out that they've been lying all that time, you never really see them in the same way anymore. they're like strangers.
He keeps calling because he wants to talk things out but there's nothing that I want to talk to him. He's some other girl's husband now in my mind.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Diwana wants to hug me <3
Only if you were a man. ;)
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Cialis :halo:
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
It's a situation of me thinking a guy that i've been with not too long a couple weeks, thinking I could trust him, he just seemed like the type that would never cheat on me. There weren't any red flags especially about being faithful. Then again we weren't nikaahfied or anything but I was thinking he was the one for me since I thought I was careful with not being emotionally attached and being practical and looking at compatibility. I found out that his parents already planned marriage for him with some other girl, his family members were congratulating him about not being able to wait to plan the wedding under comments for a new picture he had posted in his facebook profile and I find this out not from him but when I had reopened my Facebook account since I had totally deleted my account about a year ago and he knew that.
After asking him over and over again and him saying no that he wasn't talking with any other girls except me, the truth finally comes out when I told him that I saw it on Facebook. He finally vomits out everything about how he was messaging and emailing a girl from his home town that was a marriage match for an arranged marriage. I see myself as someone that is not cut out for relationships after this. My body was completely shaking with jealousy and pain when I saw her Facebook profile, I guess i was emotionally attached to him deep down and had hope for something with him. Blocked both of their profiles from facebook and I'm not accepting any messages, calls from him even if he called 8 times and left voice messages like it's not a big deal. He's basically dead to me since I trusted him, didn't expect this from him. He said his hands are tied and that he has no choice with this because his parents are strict about the girl has to be from his hometown or some BS like that. Some of these desi men are such cowards. I guess mentioning me to his parents was never on his mind. I just didn't think it would cause so much pain for me since I was practical about it or tried to be practical.
I've handled blocking him out completely. So, hopefully nobody writes that I should've seen red flags...I was careful. I just didn't expect to be so emotionally invested in it. It actually feels good writing out the whole incident on GS instead of keeping it to myself. I just want to show him i'm happy and this hasn't effected me one bit. If she wants him she can keep him. I just want to be up and exercising again and wiping out any memory of time I spent with him. If I see him again in town or at the religious events, I want to be able to show him I care less and i'm happy. If he sees that I'm completely broken up over this, he wins in this game of life.
I should focus on his good points? There were a lot of good points but he lied about not talking with this other girl though. I didn't see him as someone that i wouldn't be able to trust. It goes to show you that people are not always what they seem. Some are very very good liars and once you find out that they've been lying all that time, you never really see them in the same way anymore. they're like strangers.
He keeps calling because he wants to talk things out but there's nothing that I want to talk to him. He's some other girl's husband now in my mind.
Sorry to hear about this. But you should think, as you yourself are realizing, that life is about losing some and gaining some.
Roughly two weeks of relation and talking on Facebook, should never be taken so seriously.
You might be a loving and emotional person when it comes to opposite sex relation but that may be considered a little over the top for many other people, men and women.
Being lied to can be a hurtful experience no doubt about it. The person feels his or her trust is broken. Most people do learn from it to not trust everyone so fast.
There was no need to block him so much or be jealous of other girl. Just relax.
Be the bigger person, congratulate him. There may not be anything wrong in you so keep your head up high and be confident.
What you still have is YOU. Make the most out of YOU.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Keep reminding yourself about what happened and let the pain make you feel alive.
It stops hurting eventually because you've just become numb.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Only if you were a man. ;)
Quoted for posterity. : D
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Quoted for posterity. : D
I seriously read that as posteriority...
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
^ ha. I don't think Diwana would appreciate us talking about his posterior :\
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Harsh. Just remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well what it does really is makes you suspicious, paranoid, unwilling to trust others and build walls around yourself. Yeah i am not sure how that is stronger but yeah.....
If none of that just considering it a learning experience and don't get attached over chat. Meet face to face. Date. Then get attached.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Please don’t scare me. 
Ummm. That’s not how I read that. 
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Harsh. Just remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well what it does really is makes you suspicious, paranoid, unwilling to trust others and build walls around yourself. Yeah i am not sure how that is stronger but yeah.....
If none of that just considering it a learning experience and don't get attached over chat. Meet face to face. Date. Then get attached.
I knew him for a couple weeks and not just 2 weeks and it was us spending time with each other and getting to know each other and it was face to face and not a chat/online thing. He seemed to like most things about me and I like most things about him in terms of personality and compatibility/behavior so this situation of him messaging/emailing another girl from an arranged setup for a while while we were getting to know each other was just a bit out of the blue and it makes me think that I just can't tell how people really are. He just seemed honest when he said that he was only with me. I don't know what made me reopen my Facebook account but i'm thankful I did.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
I have to be honest here.
Couple of weeks? Seriously man, you have to harden up.
You shouldn't be so upset after just a few weeks.
As far as being a good judge of character goes, you need to be stung by people like this to be able to identify them. Be cautious next time and don't let someone in so easily and quickly.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Actually, seeing the situation written out like this in the thread,blocking him out completely, and all the good advice really did help immensely. My mind was clouded up by the rush of emotion I felt the day it happened. Now I really have no clue why I was down so much when it happened, like now looking at it from a distance, I see that I did overlook some major issues, things that made me feel horrible that I didn’t really look at very carefully when it came to how he was with me. I guess there were some red flags. Like now i’m shocked at my own immediate reaction because I am thankful that it didn’t progress into something more looking at the obvious one which is that a guy that lies and hides things so well and one that can’t make decisions on his own and uses excuses like his hands are tied and bs like that, wouldn’t be someone I would be happy with at all. I’m actually happy that i’m able to search some more freely and I didn’t base a life long decision based on purely emotion. Hey maybe I am becoming practical now, which is really good news. Yippie! Thanks all for taking the time to write your advice. It helped me so much:hug:. This was a major lesson for me. He finally stopped calling and leaving messages. Sigh of relief. I love GS. 