We’re human, we make stupid mistakes sometimes because we have that emotional side too along with the practical side which should take over 95% of the time.
What did you do to bring your self esteem back up after crappy experiences in life so you’ll have a helmet on the next time you’re punched (figuratively speaking) in the gut by life even if you try to have a full armor on to protect yourself most of the time from life’s bad experiences?
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
You should keep reminding yourself of the lesson you learned from that experience and think you might never have realised the reality if you hadn't gone thru it..
Such a cliche but coming out the other side having dealt with it really does make you stronger..
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
i agree with Deeba even the worst experiences in life teach us lessons we can learn. There is lot of hidden positives even in negative situations. Sometimes it is about our perspective. Are you a half full or half empty type of person. I like to think happy thoughts about positive things in my life that i've achieved when i'm feeling low on self esteem. This makes me think if i have achieved this already then i can overcome this as well. I'd cut down on the negative self talk and limiting beliefs by replacing them with positive beliefs. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it. I'd try not to make the incident larger than it seems and try to be realistic about it's impact on my life. Then i'd put on some better armour with extra bulletproof protection to the gut region and then be prepared for the next battle.
It's true humans think emotionally more than practically but then that makes life more lively and worth living. It differentiates us from a robot or computer. Even the mistakes make us who we are. Those scars and cuts are a reminder of the journey we've had and how far we've come. Who knows if your future success will all be thanks to this mistake?
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
the reality hit me and pushed me to the lowest point in my life when i was kicked out of med school for failing to have minimum required attendance in classes.
i was taunted, humiliated, lectured 24/7 about what i had done. i contemplated committing suicide but i found solace in religion. i started spending a lot of time in masjid praying and making du’aa…
i was humiliated to such an extent that i decided that if i could NOT become a doctor, there must have been a divine reason. my family would have loved to see the tiltle of DR in front of my name so i decided that i would give them this happiness by doing a PhD instead which i did, alHamdolillah! 
all is well that ends well! i’m happy as a gander…looking for a goose! 
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Don't let circumstances,things,people,happenings etc define you. I know it's easier said than done, but you just gotta remember there is alot more to you than what happens to you. Bad things will happen, it's the cold harsh truth of life, things are not always going to go as planned, learn the lesson and move on. Don't dwell in the past for too long. You just kinda have to focus on the positives and more importantly remember that your opinion of yourself is what matters. Do good and see yourself as someone who deserves good.I think, it just comes down to letting go of unpleasant experiences, learning from bitter moments and simply ignoring all negativity.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Do things that make you happy.
It really is as simple as that.
Surround yourself with the best of people, family and do everything you want to do in life that will make you happy.
Part of our self-esteem comes from our physical well-being, part comes from our accomplishments and a part comes from the relationships we keep close to us.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Some people are able to recover so quickly. Wish I could fast forward so it didn't bother me anymore!!!! it's like the most difficult thing to get myself out of this hell I'm in. Can't afford a therapist, I can't eat sleep and function, I'm like a dead body just walking around. Retail therapy would empty out my wallet. Spa treatment I guess is only for the richer crowd.
total recovery seems impossible because this happened on tues and I'm still in shock.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Stay up close and uptight with positive people and don't get too attached to anyone. Go out often. Go downtown.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Some people are able to recover so quickly. Wish I could fast forward so it didn't bother me anymore!!!! it's like the most difficult thing to get myself out of this hell I'm in. Can't afford a therapist, I can't eat sleep and function, I'm like a dead body just walking around. Retail therapy would empty out my wallet. Spa treatment I guess is only for the richer crowd.
total recovery seems impossible because this happened on tues and I'm still in shock.
I actually don't know what happened.
But I will say that people don't recover quickly...they just learn not to show it.
What I meant was keeping yourself busy and away from the stress of the incident until you can deal with it without breaking down.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Plastic surgery :)
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
I actually don't know what happened.
But I will say that people don't recover quickly...they just learn not to show it.
What I meant was keeping yourself busy and away from the stress of the incident until you can deal with it without breaking down.
It's a situation of me thinking a guy that i've been with not too long a couple weeks, thinking I could trust him, he just seemed like the type that would never cheat on me. There weren't any red flags especially about being faithful. Then again we weren't nikaahfied or anything but I was thinking he was the one for me since I thought I was careful with not being emotionally attached and being practical and looking at compatibility. I found out that his parents already planned marriage for him with some other girl, his family members were congratulating him about not being able to wait to plan the wedding under comments for a new picture he had posted in his facebook profile and I find this out not from him but when I had reopened my Facebook account since I had totally deleted my account about a year ago and he knew that.
After asking him over and over again and him saying no that he wasn't talking with any other girls except me, the truth finally comes out when I told him that I saw it on Facebook. He finally vomits out everything about how he was messaging and emailing a girl from his home town that was a marriage match for an arranged marriage. I see myself as someone that is not cut out for relationships after this. My body was completely shaking with jealousy and pain when I saw her Facebook profile, I guess i was emotionally attached to him deep down and had hope for something with him. Blocked both of their profiles from facebook and I'm not accepting any messages, calls from him even if he called 8 times and left voice messages like it's not a big deal. He's basically dead to me since I trusted him, didn't expect this from him. He said his hands are tied and that he has no choice with this because his parents are strict about the girl has to be from his hometown or some BS like that. Some of these desi men are such cowards. I guess mentioning me to his parents was never on his mind. I just didn't think it would cause so much pain for me since I was practical about it or tried to be practical.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
I've handled blocking him out completely. So, hopefully nobody writes that I should've seen red flags...I was careful. I just didn't expect to be so emotionally invested in it. It actually feels good writing out the whole incident on GS instead of keeping it to myself. I just want to show him i'm happy and this hasn't effected me one bit. If she wants him she can keep him. I just want to be up and exercising again and wiping out any memory of time I spent with him. If I see him again in town or at the religious events, I want to be able to show him I care less and i'm happy. If he sees that I'm completely broken up over this, he wins in this game of life.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
It actually feels good writing out the whole incident on GS instead of keeping it to myself. I just want to show him i'm happy and this hasn't effected me one bit. If she wants him she can keep him. I just want to be up and exercising again and wiping out any memory of time I spent with him.
sorry to hear your story. no one is irreplaceable. i'm sure you'll find someone better than him who will be honest and sincere to you. take it easy, get yourself busy, exercise and be as cheerful as you can be...good luck! :)
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
^ I agree with Khalil. You'll find someone better. Also, although it may not feel like it now, it's better that you found out what the guy was like now rather than continuing to your waste time someone who isn't worth it.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
We're human, we make stupid mistakes sometimes because we have that emotional side too along with the practical side which should take over 95% of the time.
**What did you do to bring your self esteem back up after crappy experiences in life **so you'll have a helmet on the next time you're punched (figuratively speaking) in the gut by life even if you try to have a full armor on to protect yourself most of the time from life's bad experiences?
I don't do anything to bring it back up. I rather let it stay where it is and let it have some rest. It just stands by itself after some time.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Looking in the mirror. 
J/K
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Diwana bhai, do you sing that mirror mirror on the wall song as well?
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
lol
Good one!
Maybe I should. 
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
Best thing one can do to bring the self esteem back is focus on the good things that person has done in past or think about what that person can do good in this world in future.
Everyone has ability to provide benefit to others and self esteem is built on making others happy.
It all comes back to that person eventually.
Re: How do you bring your self esteem up again?
So how would it affect your self esteem if the mirror’s reply points towards el topo bhai?