how do u..

Lifestyle Relationships
1

share money with your spouse if she is not working…do u give her a pocket money or does she share your account and can use as much as she wants to…and does she know all about ur income…

2

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Has been discussed I think not too long ago.

Basically, if she does good things like cooking, laundary etc., give her some money. Running away! :hehe:

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LA I am not a guy but I believe that it does not make a difference if wife is working or not. The husband should give her pocket money and should share the house hold expenditure account with her. I believe money for stuff like grocery etc should be handed over to wife and then she may manage the house anyway she wants.

The man of the family can have a separate account and can hide his earnings. Because if he is suppose to plan & take care of the house or car or kids education then he has to keep some money with himself. It's his head ache and he can deal with it anyway he want with or without involving the wife.

4

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I'm NOT married but this is what i'll do.

I would not share my money with her. If i am working, why can't she? If you gonna bring in Islam gives woman the right to choose then she better follow everything else islam tells woman to do.

I'll give her money but my money better be spent on needs rather than her wants. No shopping, traveling, giving gifts etc with my money
Why would she need to know how much i am making as long as household needs are met and lil more.

5

Re: how do u..

I'm not married yet, but I would share all of our money at first, have a joint account. If she started spending too much on stuff that wasn't really important, then I would give her only whatever she needs for groceries, pocket money, etc...

6

Re: how do u..

^ lol "I would give her" ... You will have fun when you are married ... not that I am married myself, but I can tell you will have fun :)

Best system I found (either she working or not):

Have one joint account and all your money goes in there. This is essentially your savings account.

Have a second joint account and a set amount get transferred from your first account automatically (which covers your planned and unplanned expense).
Either one of you can do whatever with first account but have to keep the other person aware of what you are doing (of unplanned expense).
You ONLY goto second account when the other person agrees as well - you don't touch the 2nd account without the consent of the other spouse!

I believe, if you can't make this system work - then you got bigger issues to work with (discipline / trust / etc).

7

Re: how do u..

I understand - some woman may not have exposure of handling money but that doesn't mean you have to "control" her expenditures - why not help her develop the skills to manage money better?

If worse comes to worse - then just do what Zardari did , he "took care" of the problem once n for all :p

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I feel it little awkward if she asks for money. Come on every human has some pride and so does she .. she might not feel it appropriate asking for it .. .. Though I am not married but this is how i will do .. will deposit money in her account at every month. by this, she does not have to ask or something that could make her feel uncomfortable.

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^ How do u know the amount you deposit would be considered 'enough'? :P

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'Pocket money' is a bit demeaning imo.. I would have thought if she's ur wife u'd automatically have a joint account, unless u don't trust her or think she's stupid or something. Also, the idea of desi women not being involved in helping manage financial affairs, household bills is really bad. In the event of husband's death or divorce these women tend to **really **struggle and besides it's healthy for her to know as well how much money is coming in and going out each month..

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I worked before I had my baby. During that time, there was a long period where my husband was not working. Never did either of us hide anything about our income or separate our accounts or any such thing. What is wrong with you people? You think your spouse is someone you should be hiding things from? What kind of immature and idiotic behavior is this! This is not marriage? It's like one of you is the parent and one is the child! Why even bother getting married?

If you can't understand that your spouse is your partner (not a servant or boss, not a slave or master, not a parent or child) then you need to reassess your marriage.

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Why have separate accounts?

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I don't go out to work so I don't have my own income as such. However I run our business with DH, and we have a joint account. I never feel awkward asking money, why should I? Firstly I take what I need from the business, and if sometimes there is not anythere due to buying etc.. then I will either use my card or ask DH and he never questions me what I need it for. It is the husbands responsibility to look after the wife regardlessof anything. The grocery shopping is mostly done by myself for reasons such as I know more than him what the children like to eat and what we need although he does know too he is not an absent father.
In a marriage no one is subserviant to the other, each has his own role i the marriage, so men should not feel they earn money so the wife should earn her pocket money from him and the woman should carry out her normal duties as wife and mother.

I have seen far too many men who do not give anything to the wife, it is so wrong it angers me, women have needs too other than looking after the family home. Other than taking what I need from the business DH gives me extra to do with what I want , it is not my wage/pocket money or anything just for me and if I need more still I can always have it. I think if a man is genreous with his wife she will not be irresponsible with it, it's alll about trust.

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Sahar02 I TOTALLY agree with you. :k:

And what’s up with the “pocket money”?? :smack:

  • Who said a woman is not able to handle the financial in the house?
    And if not then show her how it’s done.

The Marriage is a partnership, isn’t it??. . .

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Oh for us its very simple . We just toss a coin . If she wins . . . I snatch , and if I win she shops :bummer:

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Sahar I totally agree with you !

Just want to mention an example from my relatives. This happened some 15 years back , the husband retired and got some good amount of money from his company. He also had some savings. He wanted to buy a house from that money but his wife forced him to get two goods carrying van so that they can do some business , he had to buy them. Result , it was a major loss . To date they don't have their own place to live. Some times a man has to take certain decisions to protect the interest of his own family and same goes for woman.

Not all men are same neither are all women. Trust is the key but mutual understanding also matters.

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***In today's day n age a woman should be financially independent ! Whether that is through her own savings and income or being provided a separate account which she has free access to without questions asked.

She shudn't be made to "ask" for money everytime she needs something .

18

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for sex, i dont see any other good reason
Now, is it worth it for the problems she will bring into your life? I dont know

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^^ with the above attitude, I doubt anyone can have a happy married life. Sex is only pleasure when there is care, respect and love. Forced sex is equivalent to rape.

20

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yup .. no separate acccount .. a mutual account will work