how do u deal with criticism from mil

How do u guys deal with it and what kind of criticism is it.

Especially when u do or try ur best and still isn’t good enough for ocd mil

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

She complains that I don't call her much any more, and I tell her she is completely right and my mother has the same complain. That with kids, travel and industry stuff, I have less time and additionally I have let my priorities get all mixed up and will try to do a better job. Then I get a duaa for my health and gentle admonition to not ruin my health and daily life for work.

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

That's not really criticism. Not the kind u dish out to a DIL anyway

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

  • how do u deal with criticism from mil

*
susyd*

how do u deal with criticism from mil

Ignore

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

Agree with her. Everyone happy. :D

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

She gave a lecture on how I should take responsibility of the house pissedddd me off a lot as I am already doing this and its.never good enough for her. She nitpicks everything.
She also said how I should do.my.dewars.bed in the.morning because.he leaves it in a mess.my.husband was.angry and said don't do.his bed but.mil wants.me to and it just.make.things worse.

Its.nitpicking small.things really
But she makes.it out to be like.I'm.the most irresponsible person ever.

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

Agree with her. In fact, each time she brings up a flaw, point out 4 more flaws. Do this with enthusiasm. Like you love being criticized and being a self critic. Problem vanishes in one week max.

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

It's not your job to pick up after your dewar. Tell her ur husvand doesn't like it that should shut her up

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

why your every post have so many periods in it?

how do u deal with criticism from mil

Maybe your husband needs to tell his mum directly that ammi its fine for nadz to help with the house but devar needs to do his own bed doesnt matter if hes in a rush get up 5 minutes early! Lazy man.

But seriously nadz just listen to your mil andl learn to give constructive replies as a daughter jn law who lives there maybe she just expects u to do it all, if you cant manage just tell her nicely

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

What's a constructive reply?

I told.my Dewar do.ur bed before u leave.he said he will.

Well I guess it depends on the MIL and DIL involved.

Of course it's criticism. It depends on the relationship that has been established. My wife and mother have similar conversations. I have major differences of opinion with my MIL and my mother, so does my wife. How everyone involved handles those is about maturity of everyone involved and how the spouses block and tackle as needed.

The nature of criticism and how one addresses it is always around 50% in the control of each party.

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

Treat the MIL as if she's your (real) mother, would you answer your real mother in the same way?

What if your brother's wife does the same to YOUR (real) mother.....how would u feel?

On the topic:

I agree your husband's brother should tidy up his own bed. Nothing wrong with that.

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

If she's criticizing you, just give in so you can get on with your life.

What difference does it make what she thinks of you?

Agree and move on.

People do this when they are insecure and need something to pick on...so understand that.

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

It really depends on what the criticism is. Sometimes if it's something that I truly need to work on, I do take it and try to change for the better. That's what we would do if our own parents pointed out flaws so why not.

If it's things that only she finds unacceptable but my husband has no problem with - like my work hours, further education, etc. then I politely ignore them and speak to my husband privately about it if it's something that hurts me.

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

Why not?

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

Firstly Nadz, you really need to get over trying to please/be friends with your MIL. She will NEVER like you and will ALWAYS complain about you. That is how things will be for the rest of your life…as long as you stay married to your husband. Accept it and move on. That being said…..

Did you ask her what specifically she wants you to take care of that's not being done?

Did you husband tell his mother that he does not want you to make your dewars bed? If not, then why not?

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

I see nadz here one day asking us about her dil

Re: how do u deal with criticism from mil

most of the time it's just constructive criticism but jaane do