I have been seeing a very sweet Pakistani man for about 4 months now. Our relationship is a little confusing for me. I am Latina and am used to dating Latino/White guys, who tend to be very forward and upfront about whether they are into you (very touchy-feely, flirty, verbal). However, this very educated and respectful man of Pakistani descent (he grew up in London) never even tried kissing me or holding my hand until after 2 1/2 months of dating. Also, he is not very verbal about his feelings and is kinda awkward in public.
Nevertheless, he calls/texts me a lot and always asks to see me at least 2-3 times a week. Both of us have very busy lives and live a little far apart so we don’t have time to see/talk every single day. Something that I really appreciate. Nowadays he does kiss/hug me when we’re alone, but never in public. He’s not a practicing Muslim and all of his family is back in the UK.
Do you think he considers me his girlfriend by now? Are there cultural differences in dating? I don’t like to assume either way, but I usually wait for the guy to tell me how he feels.
I only ask because I want to be sensitive to the culture and not be pushy… but then again if a White/Latino guy was acting like this, I would think he wasn’t that into me if by now he did not make it explicit. I am really into him, but I don’t want to get my hopes up, if you know what I mean.
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
He may not be a practising Muslim but since he was born in a Muslim family he inherited of the characteristics of Muslims. Most of our men are not comfortable with PDA hence your bf's reservation for the same. Some people just take time opening up in new relationships, if its concerning you so much you can have a talk with him on this and take it from there.
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
I would go with @sheyn reply. I would not buy the stuff that he manages to kiss you when you gusy alone and don’t otherwise. If he was a practicing muslim, he would not have kissed you at first place. so the thing is .. .. he is just testing the waters. the depth and the intensity .. ..
if you really like him then all you need is to push him little bit .. and then he will be all yours ..
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
Hmmm...what do you guys talk about? What do you do when you're together? Does he bring you in front of his friends?
If he was just having fun, there is NO way he would have waited for 2 months to make a move.
He may be as Maham said, a bit shy because even though he isnt a practicing Muslim...he still has the tendencies we do. He will be reserved about PDA. He will take his sweet time getting to know you because he may genuinely be interested in you. The cultural differences are different for each family. Some are very open and accepting and some are as backward as they come. Talk to him about his family, ask him about them, what they're like, etc.
I say, give it time. See how things go and dont push him too much. Let him come to you.
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
My guess is ... He is interested. He is serious and wants it to work and probably doesn't want it to go pear shaped so is taking it slow enough to develop a relationship. Muslims don't make physical sexual displays in public because it is considered obscene. It is something to be done in private with wife. If he is not religious he will end up getting fairly physical in time, but he will probably never do anything in public and I wouldn't expect him to either. If other men don't show affection in public it may be for other reasons the main reason for Muslims or people from our background not doing the same will be because of decency issues which stem from a healthy level of shyness.
I would even go as far as to say that he is looking for marriage ... a life partner in you. If you think he is right for you then for both of you take it slow ... and there is no reason why sex should be tried and tested before marriage anyway. Marriage should not be on the grounds of how people make us feel under the bed covers, marriage should be about whether two people can come to arrangements with each other and live in that dynamic state for as a long as they can imagine. If he is the one for you then all you need to do is 'trust' and go with it.
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
How do Pakistani men show they really like u?
They roll down the windows of their car and let a paindu love song do all the talking....while they run their fingers through slicked-back hair that glistens with coconut oil. Then as you stare in utter horror (thinking that it couldn't get any worse), they smack their betel-juice stained lips and teeth and shout "Vaant be my Frrraan?", which is the equivalent of Joey's "How You Doin?."
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
I have been seeing a very sweet Pakistani man for about 4 months now. Our relationship is a little confusing for me. I am Latina and am used to dating Latino/White guys, who tend to be very forward and upfront about whether they are into you (very touchy-feely, flirty, verbal). However, this very educated and respectful man of Pakistani descent (he grew up in London) never even tried kissing me or holding my hand until after 2 1/2 months of dating. Also, he is not very verbal about his feelings and is kinda awkward in public.
Nevertheless, he calls/texts me a lot and always asks to see me at least 2-3 times a week. Both of us have very busy lives and live a little far apart so we don't have time to see/talk every single day. Something that I really appreciate. Nowadays he does kiss/hug me when we're alone, but never in public. He's not a practicing Muslim and all of his family is back in the UK.
Do you think he considers me his girlfriend by now? Are there cultural differences in dating? I don't like to assume either way, but I usually wait for the guy to tell me how he feels.
I only ask because I want to be sensitive to the culture and not be pushy... but then again if a White/Latino guy was acting like this, I would think he wasn't that into me if by now he did not make it explicit. I am really into him, but I don't want to get my hopes up, if you know what I mean.
I appreciate any feedback.
Wash your hands next time...use better perfume.. J/K :D
Chances are:
He thinks men usually do not kiss 'hands' of women/gf.
He is just shy. And he is public conscious.
He does not want to give you too much hope yet.
Does not see public display of affection good practice.
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
I really like him because no man has ever shown me so much respect... most of the ones i've dated are so immature and try to move too quickly with me. He gives me space, and I like that.
We pretty much just hang out together a lot. We watch tv/movies, play video games (lol), or we just talk and have some drinks. When we go out we usually just go to the movies or to eat.
I tried asking if he's ever had a girlfriend and he was really weird about it and didn't give me a straight answer, so I didn't wanna push it. He's not very social at all when it comes to friends. He works in the tech industry and all of his close friends live in other parts of the country (he's only been in CA for like a year).
I don't know. Like I said, by now I would have given up hope on him if it was like a White/Latino guy and he didn't explicitly show me any commitment. But a really good friend of mine is Muslim/Pakistani and she said to just give it time... us Latinas are sometimes too romantic and impatient with guys :)
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
if he drinks n kisses u in private but doesn't take next step ok may be he's just not into u. try talking clearly and ask for wat u expect or want. then hav a break and see how he reacts. looks like a jerk to me. aadha teeter, addha batair
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
steph, dont be dissuaded by statements here, I am assuming you are questioning the absence of a physical relationship. There are many guys who would drink and date and may have some general affectionate actions but not get really physical because they are nor comfortable with premarital sex. Its a question of how big a no-no is. different people have different tolerance of how strictly or loosely they follow their religious guidelines or value set hammered in. Maybe he draws the line there.
if you are wondering more about whether you are just dating vs exclusive and your enquiry was not on physical relationship, please ignore my statements above.
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
if you are wondering more about whether you are just dating vs exclusive and your enquiry was not on physical relationship, please ignore my statements above.
Oh, I was inquiring about the dating vs. exclusive aspect lol =) He's affectionate (in private), but he just hasn't verbalized how he feels about me. We haven't had that talk yet and I'm just being cynical about it.
Re: How do Pakistani men show they really like u? Do cultural differences really matt
seems like he is interested in you, but get him loosen up a bit so you can have a clear picture of your status in this relationship because Pakistani guys are mainly traveling in two ship together, especially if they are successful in their respective professions. They have lot of girls option to choose from.
in any case, just be ready to face a lot of drama because you cant leave the guy, and Pakistani men cant leave their families.
