How do men do it ?

[LP]

How do men put mitti over the body of their loved ones who have passed away?
Wht goes through their mind at tht moment ?
Unke dil pe kya guzarti hai uss waqt?

I know I could never do tht if I had to.Even the thought sends shivers through me.

[TLK]

Re: How do men do it ?

Its emotionally tough, but by that time, the close relatives are so emotionally drained and numb that it becomes an act. Having said that, leaving qabristan after burial is more tough than the burial itself.

I think otherwise that how tough it must be for ladies to say Allah Hafiz to the marhoom from home, when they pick the body and leave for the graveyard

[LP]

Re: How do men do it ?

In saudia we dont even get tht...
The body isnt allowed to come home.
We were allowed to see him once before ghusl ( for abt 30 seconds per person ) and once after ghusl in masjid before namaz e janazah for almost the same time .Sirf ammi n abbu got few minutes.
We were outside the boundaries of graveyard at the time of tadfeen cuz after namaz e janazah men couldnt drop us home else they wouldnt have been able to reach on time for tadfeen.Tht hour was the toughest.

[ahmadjee]

Re: How do men do it ?

I am sorry for your loss I can imagine it must be the toughest thing in life.

[Sajalina]

Re: How do men do it ?

:(

[Niksik]

Re: How do men do it ?

Very tough.

[khattichic]

Re: How do men do it ?

when my mom passed away, and the janaza reached the cemetary, my 4 mamoos brought my husband forward, and asked him to be the one to go down first in the gravesite and facilitate the tadfeen...he never discussed it with me, and for the longest time, I never even knew. he was extremely close with both my parents, the son they never had. when we finally did talk about the burial, it was about 6 months later, when I visited ammi's grave for the first time....he said it was the hardest thing he has ever done (didn't even do it for his own father, as he was quite young when my FIL passed away)

All we can do is pray for their maghfirat...baakhi sab Allah SWT ke bharosay pe chordo.....

[STA]

Re: How do men do it ?

For me it was hardest thing in my life. I had tearful eyes. I did not have courage to go down in grave buy my elder brothers did all thing. I was looking at them with my tears. I m writing it right now, my eyes are tearful again.

[aaliyahkhan1]

Re: How do men do it ?

I can’t even imagine the pain…so sorry for your loss LP

[X2]

Re: How do men do it ?

Honestly? As I buried my kids, I buried a part of me forever as well.
I know I will never be the same or what, who and how I was prior to that moment in many different ways.

[X2]

Re: How do men do it ?

I have not been around so not sure what happened
LP. I wish you the strength and sabr to face the loss of a loved one.

[Cute_Chandni_1]

Re: How do men do it ?

@X2

Honestly? As I buried my kids, I buried a part of me forever as well. I know I will never be the same or what, who and how I was prior to that moment in many different ways.

Buried your kids? How did it happen and how many kids?? I am extremely sorry for your loss. :-(

LP - May Allah give you and your family sabar and give the marhoom a place in Jannat inshAllah.

[khattichic]

Re: How do men do it ?

@STA

For me it was hardest thing in my life. I had tearful eyes. I did not have courage to go down in grave buy my elder brothers did all thing. I was looking at them with my tears. I m writing it right now, my eyes are tearful again.

kc baji to sta bhaiya

[khattichic]

Re: How do men do it ?

@X2

Honestly? As I buried my kids, I buried a part of me forever as well.
I know I will never be the same or what, who and how I was prior to that moment in many different ways.

For you as well X2,

[STA]

Re: How do men do it ?

@khattichic

when my mom passed away, and the janaza reached the cemetary, my 4 mamoos brought my husband forward, and asked him to be the one to go down first in the gravesite and facilitate the tadfeen...he never discussed it with me, and for the longest time, I never even knew. he was extremely close with both my parents, the son they never had. when we finally did talk about the burial, it was about 6 months later, when I visited ammi's grave for the first time....he said it was the hardest thing he has ever done (didn't even do it for his own father, as he was quite young when my FIL passed away)

All we can do is pray for their maghfirat...baakhi sab Allah SWT ke bharosay pe chordo.....

Aameen

[Xtron]

Re: How do men do it ?

May Allah give maghfirah for all your loved ones!. Indeed this is hardest thing in life. I have led two best friends in grave on different occasions.. so don't ask how i did it. But i was totally broken at the time. Completely numb but ya know this has to be done. May Allah give them maghfirah!.

[rolla_coaster]

Re: How do men do it ?

hug?

[NomiCA]

Re: How do men do it ?

by that time...........its more of a task......... sort of numbed.........but i agree as TLK said.......going back away from the Qabristan is more painful.

[LP]

Re: How do men do it ?

@ahmadjee

I am sorry for your loss I can imagine it must be the toughest thing in life.

It sure is.

@khattichic

when my mom passed away, and the janaza reached the cemetary, my 4 mamoos brought my husband forward, and asked him to be the one to go down first in the gravesite and facilitate the tadfeen…he never discussed it with me, and for the longest time, I never even knew. he was extremely close with both my parents, the son they never had. when we finally did talk about the burial, it was about 6 months later, when I visited ammi’s grave for the first time…he said it was the hardest thing he has ever done (didn’t even do it for his own father, as he was quite young when my FIL passed away)

All we can do is pray for their maghfirat…baakhi sab Allah SWT ke bharosay pe chordo…

true

@aaliyahkhan1

I can’t even imagine the pain…so sorry for your loss LP

@X2

Honestly? As I buried my kids, I buried a part of me forever as well.
I know I will never be the same or what, who and how I was prior to that moment in many different ways.

True.

@X2

I have not been around so not sure what happened
LP. I wish you the strength and sabr to face the loss of a loved one.

Aameen

@Cute_Chandni

Buried your kids? How did it happen and how many kids?? I am extremely sorry for your loss.

LP - May Allah give you and your family sabar and give the marhoom a place in Jannat inshAllah.

aameen

@Xtron

May Allah give maghfirah for all your loved ones!. Indeed this is hardest thing in life. I have led two best friends in grave on different occasions.. so don’t ask how i did it. But i was totally broken at the time. Completely numb but ya know this has to be done. May Allah give them maghfirah!.

Aameen

@rolla_coaster

hug?

@NomiCA

by that time…its more of a task… sort of numbed…but i agree as TLK said…going back away from the Qabristan is more painful.

While the men were inside the qabristan boundaries for the burial…those minutes were the toughest .After the burial(after abt an hour or so) wen the men came out of the qabristan and drove us back there was a different kind of sukoon we felt which wasnt there two days prior to burial.
Could be cuz we felt he is where he shud have gone two days bk.Or cuz we felt ki ab munkar nakeer k sawalat ho chuke hongey and inshaAllah he would have crossed tht phase successfully.

[waleedhbk]

Re: How do men do it ?

Its very tough :(

I didnt had the strenght to bury my Dadi :(

I Miss Her :(