Re: How do men do it ?
How do men put mitti over the body of their loved ones who have passed away? .
Men are naturally born that way.
Re: How do men do it ?
LP I can feel for you. Its really tough for men to go through this process too and at times the one who are attached to the dead are kept away from this process.
My Dadi passed back at home in village during my chacha's marriage. All the family was there, but me and one of my cousin were in Karachi because of our exams. I planned to go there in evening and was shocked to see my cousin in my college in morning and I thought everything is gone. My mom had told me a night before on phone that Dadi was in critical condition (she was suffering from liver cancer and was going through therapy and all that since 2 years) and they deided to do the Nikah before the given date. My cousin told me that she is in critical condition and we both were thinking that they have not disclosed about her death. All the way I kept remembering the time I've passed with her with teary eyes. She was the one who developed my interest to studies including literature by telling stories from Quran. She used to share with us stories of her childhood and her parents, neighbors including situation before partition. She loved her grandchidren more than her own children and used to say that 'Biyaj mool se ziada hota hai - Interest is more dearer than the origonal principal'
When we reached home around 3 p.m. she was alive, but was unconscious and my phuppi was reciting Surah Yaseen over her. They told us that she kept remebering us until she had some conscious and asked our parents that you kept my children away from me. We did our chacha's nikah and rukhsati with simplicity and brought the bride home on same day as it was Dadi's wish to see her Bahoo at home, but Dadi was unconscious all about that. She breathed her last around 9.p.m.
Next day at the time of burial all I had in mind was her words / paryers she used to say us 'Allah tum logon ko lambi zindagi de.. Mujhe apne kandhon pe qabristan tak pohunchao, apne hathon se mere ooper mitti dalo'. It was indirect wish that she died before us and we perform all these things. When my father asked me after Janaza namaz to see her for last time, I couldn't compose myself and started crying. Aakhri deedar bohut mushkil cheez hoti hai. They kept us away from the grave till her body was kept in and then asked us for putting mitti. It was really difficult task but I could do that because of her words in my mind.