How do I explain to my Pakistani Husband that I have depression..

Lifestyle Relationships
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It's not just the miscarriage that is making me feel down, there are numerous "issues", (my Sister passing away, stuck in a job I hate and can't take up job offers as longer commute/hours, not being able to try again for a baby because I've commited my finances to helping my BIL and supporting my nieces, everyone depending on me (BIL, Bro, Mum, Uncles) and not having time to myself to mention just a few).

My Husband has felt and accepted the loss of our baby, but he has more positive things to focus on so there is nothing bringing him down.

I know that whatever happens is the will of Allah and He knows best. I guess I need to remind myself of that more often.

Lol, I've always wanted to go there, :)... We would've gone ages ago, infact I wanted to do a weekend away for his birthday, but my Mum wouldn't be able to cope with my sisters kids on her own so I had to knock that idea on the head...

Awwww, I dunno.. I am confused.com!!

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Re: How do I explain to my Pakistani Husband that I have depression..

Can your husband read and write English?

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Re: How do I explain to my Pakistani Husband that I have depression..

Yes, he can, although he is a little "rough around the edges". I've managed to find a few leaflets in Urdu that I can give him so that he can understand it more..

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Re: How do I explain to my Pakistani Husband that I have depression..

Explain the symptoms to him?

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Re: How do I explain to my Pakistani Husband that I have depression..

Why didn't you discuss this all with him prior to the marriage? Or did the diagnosis happen after marriage?

People have to be more upfront about this sort of stuff. Its bad enough that people undergo depression - believe me, its NASTY business.

Its worse when you have to deal with it as a spouse.

At this point, discuss it with him - have some professional intervention to explain it to him, like a psychiatrist, a therapist, your general doctor, or whoever is writing your pills. Show him some educational videos on the topic. Give him some articles to read.

Desis don't recognize real psychiatric illnesses to be true illnesses - they just see it as personality issues or mood issues that go away with time.

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Re: How do I explain to my Pakistani Husband that I have depression..

Barfi, you should be lucky that your husband isnt going to take you to some Hakim or Fakir in Pakistan.

They have such interesting remedies!

Time Pass... Feb 2014
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Re: How do I explain to my Pakistani Husband that I have depression..

just go out and tell everything you want to.

and maybe maybe 0.00001 percent chances are he understands you.
So go for 0.00001 percent.

God doesnt help those who dont help themselves!

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Go out with your husband for a vacation. Take some rest. Your health is of the utmost priority. All our lives we put 100% emphasis on material gain and money. But we don't concentrate on the thing for which we are earning i.e. us. Go and arrange a picnic. Spend your time with your family. And pray to God (Christian prayer if you are christaian) Or Salat if you are Muslim. Even if you are christian your intentions should be as if you are talking with God.

If something is bothering you and you are not telling it to your family, just blurt it out. Keep your heart and mind light.

Give some of the old clothes to the poor so that you feel contended that you have done something for the humanity.

Use bright colors in your home, bright surroundings. try to take time to watch extremely comedy movies, read comedy books etc. And when its beyond limits, cry out and take out your sorrows through tears.

Think about those more un fortunate than you. I hope these things will lessen your depression.

Very few Pakistanis have the concept of depression.

Ultimately , it is you and your own will who is going to save you. Believe me, I have also been a depressed person but I tackled it.

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Re: How do I explain to my Pakistani Husband that I have depression..

Barfi, you are incorrect when you refer to depression as a "western illness" since it can affect anyone of any nationality. I think I understand what you meant though - that its at least a bit more recognized and treated in the west as compared to the east.

I agree with the poster above that you should approach the subject in purely medical terms with your husband. That you are suffering from an imbalance of serotonin, chemicals in the brain. The imbalance causes all kinds of problems from feeling sad to lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities, weakness etc. This approach is more understandable than simply using the term "depression" because that term is WAY over-used. "I didnt get an A on my exam...I'm SO depressed." "My husband didnt like the new recipe I cooked, I am so depressed.". So many people use the word depression to describe disappointment or passing feelings of sadness. But REAL depression is truly a medical condition.

May you recover from it soon.

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Re: How do I explain to my Pakistani Husband that I have depression..

barfii my duas go out to you my mum suffers from severe depression where she sees no reason to go on sometimes and i agree it is hard for others to understand depression and explaining to your husband. some of my family members who are not very westernised do not understand it neither and brush her off as being ignorant if shes not making conversation or going to their house. what you can do is ask your doctor to get some leaflets in urdu or ask a depression support group for more information x