Such a disaster this engagement period. Firstly,its been going on for 1.5 years and I spoke to him for the first time just a month ago (his family says he’s shy…but he’s 35!!! how shy could he be?). He called me weekly then and replied to my texts immediately and my emails too.We had just been talking about the weather and petrol prices and so on and now all of a sudden, complete silence! I haven’t done anything wrong and neither have my parents…his family’s the same way, verrrrrrry laid back…no dinners,no regular phone calls…no nothing. half the time I’m left wondering if he’ll even show up at the wedding 
I’m stressed out, I don’t know if he’s against this wedding or if he hates me or if its nothing and he’s just lazy. My last sms and email went unanswered. I had to literally stalk him and leve messages on both his answering machines to get his collar size (excuse: I sprained my ankle so I couldn’t reply to your sms)
Help me please, I don’t want to be left at the altar or caught in a loveless marriage
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
relax.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
what Nomica said .. calm down. its as new for him as its new for you so give him some time to adjust.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn’t talk??? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
Diwanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, perfect thread for you…see see such people exist after all 
!
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
distract yourself, chill out.
is there a large age gap just out of curiosity?
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
his family's the same way, verrrrrrry laid back...no dinners,no regular phone calls...no nothing. half the time I'm left wondering if he'll even show up at the wedding
can your family contact to them and ask how are they doing so far?
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
Have you ever thought that maybe you are hijacking the whole conversation and/or talking too long? I know I wouldn't be able to bear some guppans here who supposedly talked hours and hours on the phone to SO after engagement. I wonder what is left to talk after marriage or perhaps, it is a sign of a future nagging wife?
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
He is a mashriqi larka
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
He is a mashriqi larka
iss mashriqi larkay ko achanak say khamoshi kiyon cha gaye...?
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
I've noticed this trend with a lot of friends and acquaintances. Guy and girl talk a lot, suddenly there's quiet from guy's side. Communication swells and wanes. God knows why. Perhaps it has something to do with their saturation point. Perhaps they need to refuel. I think the best advice at such a time, and possibly the most difficult to apply, is to assume the "chup" better than they do, even better would be to assume a "chup" BEFORE they do. Beat them to the punch, wait out for a small time period and resume communication.
Seriously it will do your relationship a world of good to stop yourself actively from contacting him henceforth. He will contact you in time. If he doesn't, that gives you some answers in itself. But communicating further with no reciprocation from his side is lowering your respect, both self and otherwise. So don't do it
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
Im surprised by the answers...
.i mean its been 1.5 yrs. I would be rather annoyed to being left in the dark or having to chase after someon just for an answer. And if he doesnt want to talk, then his family should kind of step in at least to reassure you. what have your parents sat about it.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
I agree with Nina.
What is your age gap (if you don't mind me asking) ? That could also be a reason, but can't jump to conclusions yet.
I remember during my unofficial engagement period I stopped talking to my husband (or fiance at that time) for about 1.5 years because I felt as if we had nothing to talk about or weren't connecting. I used to just talk to him online before I stopped talking. Then I finally decided to call him after a year or so and guess what, we couldn't stop talking after that.
Sometimes you need a break to think things through and get adjusted to the idea maybe. Maybe you should call him and talk to him openly about this.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
Drop all contact and see how long it takes him to reach out. Let him take initiative.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
I am at the same page as you. My engagement has been that long but I feel some of these things too. For those asking the age difference, he is 7 years older than I am and yes that is a big gap. But can someone tell me how does it make a difference? It may help me understand him betta!
Queen04, I used to act the same way as you. I felt I am the one initiating everything and kind of sounded needy many a times. I used to even feel value-less and whenever we had any kind of communication it left me thinking whether he was even interested in going forward with it or was it some thing he was doing it out of family pressure or it was some thing he had to do because of his age. But slowly ive understood and accepted that:
- His family and mine are different and the differences I have cleared out in my mind
- He is a reserved person who will take his time to be open. When ever I am a little quiet he initiates the talk and opens up. I am an open personality whereas he is reserved sort. But when I am not boggling down his neck he himself opens up. That’s one wrong we girls do, we play all the gambles on THAT one person but we forget that its new for him as well. Just take it slow and try to understand him. I intentionally keep quiet now and I intentionally try to keep some things hidden and mysterious. Its good to be honest in the relation which I am but it is even better to keep mysteries specially in the engagement period. No matter how desperately I want to have the sense of belongingness or the sense of being loved; ive learnt a bit to self control for the better. * He is opening up slowly and this is the time to gain trust. Listen to him, let him get out of the shell. I know I am the sort of open personality who wouldn’t take time to open at all so why waste time in telling your things all the time, you will do that any way. For now, make him open.
Don’t worry about the lack of communication; no matter how scary it seems to us girls; it some times leads to a better outcome! Plus, he has accepted you in front of his family, friends etc. he wouldn’t run out on you. Just give him some space to do his thinking; he will get back.
If you still don’t feel satisfied; go read surah-fatah – its for success in what ever you are doing. Insha Allah it will be better. You can talk to me anytime, since I am also at the same page and like-situation people can help each other and understand the situation better.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
I don't understand the concept of such long engagement periods! I think jhat phat shadi honi chahiye phir Allah malik hai :D.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
I love you guys!! totally agree with everything everyone says...its a 7 year gap, but I think mentally I'm more mature, or atleast I know how to speak to different sorts of people and he doesn't from what I understand...he pretty much just says what occurs to him :s anyway, from what I understand, I should be 'chup' until further notice.
@ zareen: i totally agree!!!
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
He is a mashriqi larka
being mashriqi larka doesnt imply he should stop replying e mails and calls and make another one feel like this. This is rather unethical. And he is not a teenager.
OP, there could be hundred and one reasons anyway for the silence. Maybe he is just too occupied in something else or had an urgent trip out of the town something. I would rather you sit back and let the things come from the family themselves.
There are many things need answering though. Why is his family as well as him so indifferent and unbothered, rather cold with this rishta? and WHY on earth NO MARRIAGE when he is already 35 and it has been a year and half of engagement. How much more does he need to grow up and get ready for marriage.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
His girlfriend is taking up too much of his time.
j/k j/k j/k
Umm it is a bit strange that he doesn't talk to you. But I have a solution for you. Get him on the phone and ask him! Tell him how you're feeling as well. Communication is good and stuff.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
hmpphh but how can any guy be more shy than a girl.ITS wrong.
Re: how do I convey my fears to someone who doesn't talk???????? arghhhhhhhhhhhh
^ fishy is a better word in my opinion.