Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
In our family, we dont do short listing by pictures, and round roti skills. There are strict instructions from grand parents for assessing each girl carefully, prior to making an actual visit. What you are referring to is, would be window shopping . . however there are parts of my extended family, they seem to violate every little ethic known to man.
Now, answering your question, would not that be unfair, like giving a cheat sheet ? Why cant you just be yourself, and see if the both prospects fits each other requirements. Getting a rishta should be different than getting a job at apple
good family practice mA
SID_NY
June 10, 2015, 9:09pm
22
How do guys know if she is the one?
Somebody said check if her amma is compatible to your abba, sheās definitely the ONE for you!!
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
30 minute conversation usually filters them. ill try to offend her, and see how she reacts. squeeze a fruit and the aseel comes forth. the body language, the expression the choice of words. I let them ask the question, I dont have my list of questions. Its their list that gives me insight into their thought/mind.
she graduates the first timeā¦i do it the second time. no one survives the second round. lol
if no red flags, then its a 50-50. I like 50-50 in my perception. Its the best possible really. rest is fate. Go with the flow, let the chips fall as they may kindda dealā¦
If a guy offends me the first time we meet, il show him the way out
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Unfortunately during rishta process no one is showing their true honest side, itās all a facade. Its like an interview, where they ask you āwhat are your weaknesses?ā and you answer āI work too hardā instead of saying āi love sleeping in until 1pm every day.ā Everyone is āniceā so nice should never be a criteria on the list, because that should be a given. Everything should be taken with a grain of salt and a healthy dose of skepticism during rishta process.
Best way to assess a girl is to determine her goals and values in life. If opportunity arises, she how she interacts with her family (specifically her parents), see how girl presents herself in public (whats her public image likeādoes she like to be popular girl, likes to be center of attention, be approached by others or she herself likes to mingle with anyone and everyone, or is she more modest and conscious of her behavior and selective in who she chooses to interact with), look at her mother (see what kind of values her mom hasādoes she really prioritize family life, respects her husband and teaches her kids about being good decent human beings or does mother emphasize and focus more on fashion, material, socializing, fun all the timeāwill give good insight into what kind of values the girl herself will have), look at who she surrounds herself with (including her sisters and her close friends as she will be likely influenced and have similar mindsets as the people she enjoys spending time with). Also best way to determine how theyāll be is to see how a girl handles stress and disagreements. Does she take a conciliatory, kind, compromising approach to find solutions to disagreements or does she laugh it off just to avoid draining discussions, or not validate your concerns or start saying ma behn ki galliya or make divisive comments like āitās my life I will do whatever I want.ā How one fights gives good insight. And as always look for trends in behavior and words (make sure her words and actions align..talk is cheap, actions require actual effort) and make sure itās consistent over a period of time to see if itās a true part of her character and personality.
Good luck finding this many things about a girl when taking the arranged rishta route!
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
In our family, we dont do short listing by pictures, and round roti skills. There are strict instructions from grand parents for assessing each girl carefully, prior to making an actual visit. What you are referring to is, would be window shopping . . however there are parts of my extended family, they seem to violate every little ethic known to man.
Now, answering your question, would not that be unfair, like giving a cheat sheet ? Why cant you just be yourself, and see if the both prospects fits each other requirements. Getting a rishta should be different than getting a job at apple
LOL, I didnt ask this question to make past papers for the rishta day exam! The last thing I care about in this world is impressing anyone! I asked this question just for an insight.
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?:S
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Koyee kuch bhi kaheyā¦aaap behud samajhdaar aur tehzeeb yafta khatoon lagtii hai. Bhalaa, aap k saath aysa ittifaaq kyon hoga?
Waisey qurbani k dumbo.n ka kya karti hain aaap?
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Definitely difficult in arranged ristha process but can get an overall sense very quickly over time. Obviously not in first couple of meetings.
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Someone is trying to ruin your life SID.
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Girls are ridiculous about this whole notion of love at first sight or waiting for a spark. Itās all BS. Life is way too complicated to depend on superificial things like that.
Attraction and chemistry are important but most often girls donāt give it enough time to develop and think it has to be there from the beginning. Love takes time, before then the attraction is all based on superificial things and itās called infatuation or lust which are not sustainable in long term.
Agreed. It is not just girls though, men do the same thing. It is human nature. We āwaitā to feel something rather than turn our circumstances around to make the āsparkā happen. Most people are only willing to put so much effort into trying. This is why people canāt find āthe oneā. In my opinion, you make āeach otherā happen. āThe oneā doesnāt exist.
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
^If itās BS how did I end up married to him?
Iām guessing youāre not married and have never been in a relationship (Iām NOT saying thatās a bad thing before anyone jumps on me btw) but saying that love can ONLY develop over a certain period of time or after marriage is also quite convenient in a culture where we werenāt traditionally allowed to meet our partners before marriage.. The traditional system would collapse if people stopped believing otherwise.. People can and are happily married after falling in love or feeling a spark the way Iāve described..
Getting married to āthe oneā and staying happily married to him/her are two different things. How long have you been married? Report back in 20 years. Ok, letās make it 10.
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
woi jo baqi sab kertay hain?
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
30 minute conversation usually filters them. ill try to offend her, and see how she reacts. squeeze a fruit and the aseel comes forth. the body language, the expression the choice of words. I let them ask the question, I dont have my list of questions. Its their list that gives me insight into their thought/mind.
she graduates the first timeā¦i do it the second time. no one survives the second round. lol
if no red flags, then its a 50-50. I like 50-50 in my perception. Its the best possible really. rest is fate. Go with the flow, let the chips fall as they may kindda dealā¦
The way you push peopleās buttons, only one that would pass your ātestā is a doormat.
Let me introduce you to some people hereā¦
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
The way you push peopleās buttons, only one that would pass your ātestā is a doormat.
Let me introduce you to some people hereā¦
awwwwā¦
Xtron
June 13, 2015, 4:27pm
35
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
I have learnt following:
You know she is the one, if she encourages you to do good.
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Iād want to know to know about childhood issues. Abuse, self esteem issues, NPD etc. Now how would I go about finding this out without looking like a jerk?
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Unfortunately during rishta process no one is showing their true honest side, itās all a facade. Its like an interview, where they ask you āwhat are your weaknesses?ā and you answer āI work too hardā instead of saying āi love sleeping in until 1pm every day.ā Everyone is āniceā so nice should never be a criteria on the list, because that should be a given. Everything should be taken with a grain of salt and a healthy dose of skepticism during rishta process.
Best way to assess a girl is to determine her goals and values in life. If opportunity arises, she how she interacts with her family (specifically her parents), see how girl presents herself in public (whats her public image likeādoes she like to be popular girl, likes to be center of attention, be approached by others or she herself likes to mingle with anyone and everyone, or is she more modest and conscious of her behavior and selective in who she chooses to interact with), look at her mother (see what kind of values her mom hasādoes she really prioritize family life, respects her husband and teaches her kids about being good decent human beings or does mother emphasize and focus more on fashion, material, socializing, fun all the timeāwill give good insight into what kind of values the girl herself will have), look at who she surrounds herself with (including her sisters and her close friends as she will be likely influenced and have similar mindsets as the people she enjoys spending time with). Also best way to determine how theyāll be is to see how a girl handles stress and disagreements. Does she take a conciliatory, kind, compromising approach to find solutions to disagreements or does she laugh it off just to avoid draining discussions, or not validate your concerns or start saying ma behn ki galliya or make divisive comments like āitās my life I will do whatever I want.ā How one fights gives good insight. And as always look for trends in behavior and words (make sure her words and actions align..talk is cheap, actions require actual effort) and make sure itās consistent over a period of time to see if itās a true part of her character and personality.
The parents of the seedhi saadhi girl youāre looking for are not going to allow you this much interaction timeā¦
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Not just seedhi saadhi, those girls are the least of our worries anyways..the parents of chalak OTT girl will also not allow this much interaction time especially if they have sense of urgency to marry their liability off before she continues to ruin her reputation
Anyways, I def agree its very difficult during ristha process but there are ways to get an overall sense even if donāt get one on one interaction..go with gut feeling, itās usually right
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
Unfortunately during rishta process no one is showing their true honest side, itās all a facade. Its like an interview, where they ask you āwhat are your weaknesses?ā and you answer āI work too hardā instead of saying āi love sleeping in until 1pm every day.ā Everyone is āniceā so nice should never be a criteria on the list, because that should be a given. Everything should be taken with a grain of salt and a healthy dose of skepticism during rishta process.
Best way to assess a girl is to determine her goals and values in life. If opportunity arises, she how she interacts with her family (specifically her parents), see how girl presents herself in public (whats her public image likeādoes she like to be popular girl, likes to be center of attention, be approached by others or she herself likes to mingle with anyone and everyone, or is she more modest and conscious of her behavior and selective in who she chooses to interact with), look at her mother (see what kind of values her mom hasādoes she really prioritize family life, respects her husband and teaches her kids about being good decent human beings or does mother emphasize and focus more on fashion, material, socializing, fun all the timeāwill give good insight into what kind of values the girl herself will have), look at who she surrounds herself with (including her sisters and her close friends as she will be likely influenced and have similar mindsets as the people she enjoys spending time with). Also best way to determine how theyāll be is to see how a girl handles stress and disagreements. Does she take a conciliatory, kind, compromising approach to find solutions to disagreements or does she laugh it off just to avoid draining discussions, or not validate your concerns or start saying ma behn ki galliya or make divisive comments like āitās my life I will do whatever I want.ā How one fights gives good insight. And as always look for trends in behavior and words (make sure her words and actions align..talk is cheap, actions require actual effort) and make sure itās consistent over a period of time to see if itās a true part of her character and personality.
some people just dont get along with their family ā¦ they have issues sometimesā¦ you cant really say if a girl is not good towards her family cant be good to her husband n his family ā¦ not a right way to assess a gal in my opinion ā¦
Re: How do guys know if she is the one?
There are always exceptions but by far the majority of girls who are rude to their parents will likely be very rude and difficult to deal with in marriage also..if a person canāt respect their own parents regardless of how terrible their parents may be they likely will not respect anyone else..a person may not get along with family which is fine but doesnāt mean have to be outright rude or disrespectful..a redflag for me personally if a girl is consistently rude to her own parents because more often than not these girls are the ones that rebel and have done some crazy stuff in their day, and as I said before when a girl rebels against her parents, she often rebels by using her sexuality and through sexual means (i.e. will sleep around and/or be associated with several guys, many of who will have intentionally used her and then dumped her)..this is by far the main form of rebellion for girls..just based on my own observations
Now having said that, everything needs to be taken into context and need to look at overall picture when assessing the girls personality
