Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate …?
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
lol beleive me it is true...my khala told my mom the story, they were all pretty worried for that first year.
He said something to the effect of "She was so innocent and pure, I could not bring myself to do it" or something...it was said in urdu so I'm not sure if what I wrote is the exact translation of it but it was something to that effect.
Other than the "not being able to touch his own wife for 1.5 year" thing...he is a dominant controlling maniac and has issues well beyond that.
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
so he's not normal as i suspected. y did the wife waited for so long. she should hav thanked Allah n run away
so he's not normal as i suspected. y did the wife waited for so long. she should hav thanked Allah n run away
ya exactly
i know a gal comin from an extremely orthodox family , got married to even a more orthodox family , when the guy didnt do anything she told her mother afta 6-7 days , the guy didnt have a mother so the gals parents talked to the guys father ........ it turned out he cudnt and the guys father knew, ( he must hav thought the gal wud neva mention this to anyone and spend the rest of her life like that), anyways later the father appologized n asked the son 2 divorse the gal.( she ofcourse remarried , but her family told this to the entire world, guess they didnt want ppl to think that sumthin was wrong wid their daughter thats y she got divirsed within a couple of weeks.
how cum she stayed quiet for 1.5 yrs???
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
Because my khala's family frowns upon divorce. She is pretty much stuck with that pathetic excuse for a human being for the rest of her life.
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
She didn't stay quiet for 1.5 years...she DID tell her family...the only thing she didn't do is ask him about it and initiate things with him because she is a typical submissive type of wife. She can't even talk back to him because if she does he sends her to her parents home!
“How daring you questions my smartness and logic, eh??? You the showing me your zubaan??? You grounded wifey! Go to your parents’ home!” 
What a turn-on. How attractive. Sending a wife because she has a mind of her own and may not agree with her husband’s opinions only shows that he’s sooooooooo insecure he can’t stand bear the thought that someone might think he’s wrong.
in this day n age ppl can be so majbor coz of social norms.
tauba astaghfar …
these kindda horrifying stories makes one realise how lucky they r, how cheerfully blessed life is for them . and how very unreasonable they become at times … not counting the limitless blessings they have .( well mixed blessings) but none the less good.
She didn't stay quiet for 1.5 years...she DID tell her family...the only thing she didn't do is ask him about it and initiate things with him because she is a typical submissive type of wife. She can't even talk back to him because if she does he sends her to her parents home!
thats wat i was saying aik tu baikaar uper se fazool (with attitude) sirf unchi awaz main baat kerti baqi kaam wo khud he ker laita ( send hme n divo) so simple.
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
Naw he wouldn't divorce her, because he can walk all over her so it's to his own advantage to have her. Besides, they have 2 kids now, so that also complicates things.
coccoo is right...you realize how lucky you are when you hear stories like this. My mom is divorced and my khala had the audacity to say "humaray family mey sirf thoom ho giskey divorce ho hee hai"
In the meantime, two of her own daughters are married to monsters....and they probably will never get divorced from their husbands...
Naw he wouldn't divorce her, because he can walk all over her so it's to his own advantage to have her. Besides, they have 2 kids now, so that also complicates things.
coccoo is right...you realize how lucky you are when you hear stories like this. My mom is divorced and my khala had the audacity to say "humaray family mey sirf thoom ho giskey divorce ho hee hai"
In the meantime, two of her own daughters are married to monsters....and they probably will never get divorced from their husbands...
As the classic saying goes, "What goes around comes around."
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
Ya...I totally beleive in that...let's just say when my mom was suffering in her marriage, my khala gave her absolutely no support and did nothing to help her.
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
aww so hard to believe when ur own blood turns cold towards u. atleast sisters aren't n shouldn't b like this.
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
I dont get it..........someone said here that if a Nikah is not consummated in 6 months it becomes null and void? Says who? Kuch log saalon tak rusksat nahin hotey hein, unka Nikah sahi nahin hai? Before saying such things, its important do research and KNOW for a fact what you're saying is 1000% correct. Anything less then that is considered irresponsible.
Also, WHY is it that someone needs to ask these questions on a public forum? If you are a BOY, dont get married because its not for BOYS. If you're a man and you need to ask...then PLEASE dont get married because you might embarass your bride by asking her for directions!
I dont get it..........someone said here that if a Nikah is not consummated in 6 months it becomes null and void? Says who? Kuch log saalon tak rusksat nahin hotey hein, unka Nikah sahi nahin hai? Before saying such things, its important do research and KNOW for a fact what you're saying is 1000% correct. Anything less then that is considered irresponsible.
Also, WHY is it that someone needs to ask these questions on a public forum? If you are a BOY, dont get married because its not for BOYS. If you're a man and you need to ask...then PLEASE dont get married because you might embarass your bride by asking her for directions!
according to hanfia school of thought if not consumated , afta a year wife can apply for nullification which will be granted . it does no become null n void by itself the wife has to tell some1.
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
I think its highly unlikely that so many of the hubbies in your family are monsters. Seems to me that girls these days are way too obsessed with getting a divorce at the drop of a hat.
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
No sex for eighteen months isn't a small matter, in Islam a woman is perfectly within her rights to divorce over that, infact she can divorce for simply not being attracted to her husband. In practice, Muslim women very rarely initiate divorce at the 'drop of a hat.' Infact usually the opposite is true, often they tend to stick around too long whilst they often get beaten, humiliated etc. 'for the sake of the kids', society, having nowhere to go etc.
according to hanfia school of thought if not consumated , afta a year wife can apply for nullification which will be granted . it does no become null n void by itself the wife has to tell some1.
Yeah, the wife has the right to pleasure and intimacy just as the husband does, tho u'd never guess it from our twisted culture. I am pretty sure even if they are sleeping together but he doesn't satisfy her sexually she can demand a divorce on those grounds as well (but imagine having to explain that to ur family lol).
Re: How do boys get the courage to initiate ...?
Guys may initiate in a more direct manner, but girls give signals -- and often they're the first to.
No sex for eighteen months isn't a small matter, in Islam a woman is perfectly within her rights to divorce over that, infact she can divorce for simply not being attracted to her husband. In practice, Muslim women very rarely initiate divorce at the 'drop of a hat.' Infact usually the opposite is true, often they tend to stick around too long whilst they often get beaten, humiliated etc. 'for the sake of the kids', society, having nowhere to go etc.
Au contraire, whatver you're saying holds true only for middle-calss (and not way too much educated or "enlightened") girls back home in Pakistan.