how could you say that?

Hangout GupShup Cafe
1

“when boys are young and immature, they pursue the girl they like by showing dislike towards her.”

immature boys will be immature boys, yet it left me speachless that a mature lady (and one I would have expected to know better) to attack a member here (some of the comments are downright offensive). As an admin member , that is most regretable. And before people tell me that this is a voluntary website and if we dont like it we can go somewhere else… thats all crap.. This website is what it is because of its membership and not the otherway round. and as in any group of people, there are the good and the bad and what makes us human is our ability to accept both ends of the spectrum.

As far as anecdotes go.. they are NOT what a majority of the group do but rather what is precieved as what a majority of the people do by the people in power. Thus it only has limited bearing to what people actually do.

Eg.

  1. muslims are knife weilding terrorists with moustaches.

  2. Muslim women are enslaved in thier hijabs and burkhas by the muslim males.

  3. centuaries ago, it was said that women could do nothing else except cook and have babies.

At this moment I am tempted to say “Try wrapping that around your mind”… but I find that a bit too offensive for me to say to another “mature” human .

I understand that other members comments would annoy you but to take out the anger in the forum as an admin should not be considered acceptable. A judge is impartial and when he can no longer is impartial then he passes his job onto someone else. The same can be said here for the mods and the admins here.

PS: and yes please do explain to me further

2

I'd be happy to explain hmcq..but I don't understand what is offensive about posting a commonly known stereotype. That's the short and the tall of it. Nothing more, nothing less.

As far as attacking another member is concerned: exactly who's defense are you coming to? The original post in question did not identify anyone specific, nor did my answer...until Jaawan decided to take it upon himself.

You don't appear to have read my post very clearly. Try reading it again and you'll see that nowhere did I suggest that anecdotes represent what a majority of people do. Though you have clarified my message by adding the word "perceived", it would be more accurate to replace the phrase "people in power" with something else. I don't believe it has anything to do with authority.

I'm confused about what member's comments would annoy me and what anger I'm taking out and on whom. Please clarify. None of what I posted has anything at all to do with Admin, nor did I act in that thread as moderator. Muzna posted her opinion as Muzna. What are you talking about?

3

Take upon my self what??? I just gave my opinion in that thread, you, i dont know what happend to you.

Giving my opinion on moderators is taking upon my self something?

I can give any opinion i want, i like and what ever my heart pleases, weather you like it or not. I don't give a ca-ca if you are a CEO or moderator, you have to be able to handle the criticism and opinions against you and for you. LIVE WITH THAT!

Stop me from giving my opinion! You cant! In despration those(the kind you wrote) kinda posts and writtings come to the place.

~~~mOrE LoVe iS NeVeR eNoUgH~~~
Jaan-e-mun Jaan-e-Tamanaa
Edharr aah teriyaaN LaatTaanN PunNaa-n

4

Hmmm…I thought I was talking with hmcq here. Is there another multiple personality disorder at play?

Dr. Loveless/Jaawan etc.,

Nobody is stopping you from giving your opinion. Please continue to do so. And if you run out of things to say, allow us to help you…in fact, let’s look at some of your opinions in this thread:
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/Forum1/HTML/002946.html

5

Oh and while we are on the subject…
here’s another one:
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/Forum1/HTML/002939.html

6

nope its not a multiple personality disorder
display on my part and I am sure you are aware of that. The post was offensive, and I still stand by that. As far as your note about anecdotal phrases goes:

[quote]

Most people would know that anecdotes and examples like the one I used are often employed to illustrate a particular characteristic that may or may not exist in "all" of a group....but may have been found in "many" of the group.

[/quote]

most people would know == "it is common knowledge"

but may have been found in "many" of the group== it is generally (now I didn't say always) applicable to a majority.

why do you think they call it anecdotal ??
if there were numbers behind the statements they would be called facts.

My post was not posted to defend anyone.
I was merely pointing out what i felt was a rather "interesting" response. if I were defending someone i would have said so. personally i could not have cared less what Jawaan or you said to each other, however the manner in which you said it i think was rather inappropriate. As i said before , i thought you were someone who would know better. there are a lot of people who say a lot of irresposible things here but I dont think you have seen me say anything about them.

it was posted cause i felt the way you responded was wrong, especially so for an admin. and no you can not leave that title behind in some posts and carry it in others. if you are an Admin member as long as you post here then you are posting as an admin member. When you goto work, everything you say can be taken as having been said in your professional capacity. once you leave work then you are an individual so to speak. For the same reason you do speak as an Admin here and you can not simply wish that you are muzna in one post and admin/mod in another.

[quote]
Originally posted by Muzna:
**I'd be happy to explain hmcq..but I don't understand what is offensive about posting a commonly known stereotype. That's the short and the tall of it. Nothing more, nothing less.

As far as attacking another member is concerned: exactly who's defense are you coming to? The original post in question did not identify anyone specific, nor did my answer...until Jaawan decided to take it upon himself.

You don't appear to have read my post very clearly. Try reading it again and you'll see that nowhere did I suggest that anecdotes represent what a majority of people do. Though you have clarified my message by adding the word "perceived", it would be more accurate to replace the phrase "people in power" with something else. I don't believe it has anything to do with authority.

I'm confused about what member's comments would annoy me and what anger I'm taking out and on whom. Please clarify. None of what I posted has anything at all to do with Admin, nor did I act in that thread as moderator. Muzna posted her opinion as Muzna. What are you talking about?

**
[/quote]

7

hmcq whoa man... if all my posts were taken as official admin stance then I guess the twirling dervish-ism of the dervishes who twirl counter clockwise would be the official religion here.

:)

8

. and no you can not leave that title behind in some posts and carry it in others. if you are an Admin member as long as you post here then you are posting as an admin member. When you goto work, everything you say can be taken as having been said in your professional capacity. once you leave work then you are an individual so to speak. For the same reason you do speak as an Admin here and you can not simply wish that you are muzna in one post and admin/mod in another. <<

This isn’t really an issue so I tried to stay out of this, but your comments are rather interesting, first of all I think you most of many others GupShup members would know that Admins and Moderators are normal members of GupShup forums before they become Mods or Admins. Becoming Mod or Admin doesn’t mean that you no longer can post like a member (that means post what ever under GupShup rules). It seems like you’re suggesting that we don’t have a right to have an independent opinion? Don’t you think that a job as mod or admin should help us grow in some way also? Why would anyone be interested in a job that doesn’t even allow you to be your self?

Sorry for disturbing your thread btw.:)

9

Now I know how many are damn angry with Naik!!!

Miss Soubia your thread has created lot of fuss & being divided into a multithread system. You should be punished.

Guyz! Just think you all are giving unnecessary PUBLICITY to a non-deserving person. (kidding but partial serious!)

Defenders ho tu MUZNA geee jaysa ho. Allah kerya zorr-e-bayan aur bhee zeyadah!!

Nadeem

10

hmcq,

I should apologize for suggesting that you and Jaawan/Loveless are one and the same. I know better than to expect that kind of behaviour from you. So, right out of the starting gate, I'm sorry.

Next, I appreciate your efforts to point out what you feel is a discrepancy in my behaviour. Your comments can only serve to cause an improvement in how I carry myself here and in general and for that I should only be grateful to you.

The one thing that I do take exception to is your suggestion that members of the Admin/Mod team should not be allowed to post their opinions. I see that as completely unfair. To me the definition of a successful Moderator or Administrator is one who can leave their personal opinions behind while performing their duty. This does not however, suggest that they cannot have an opinion as a simple member. As long as they remember that posting rules and regulations apply to them as much as any non-authority figure.

Now let's be specific......

If you agree that the example I gave is anecdotal and therefore is not a reflection of the truth or facts, then why take offense?

"personally i could not have cared less what Jawaan or you said to each other, however the manner in which you said it i think was rather inappropriate. "

hmcq, this is precisely where the problem lies. You haven't bothered to look into the background. Or if you are aware of it, you are neglecting to recognize how it would impact communication between Jaawan and I.

You are pretty much right on the subject when you say that I normally do not exchange comments like "wrap that around your mind", but then again, most people do not speak to/about me in the manner that Jaawan does.

Are you suggesting that if a member happens to volunteer as an Administrator and/or a Moderator they forfeit their right to defense from attack? Are they suddenly open to criticism, sarcasm and ridicule by general members?

Many people have been approached to become moderators and have declined the position because they feel that the public is unfair to them. This is a clear example of that injustice.

11

I feel so sorry for some people who would claim that they ARE the reason for the existence of this place. Sure, look around, read a few of our posts. When did we deny that? That’s our MOTTO! It’s amusing to see people adding weight to their posts by adding such comments. Anyone with common sense would agree that members make up this place.

Azkar

12

Sarkar-e-Majlis, Kibla-o-Kaba Al-Haj Syed Azkar Choudray Pakpatan Sharif:

Not only members make this place, but also go far and beyond the call of duty. It is the member community that twirls (is that right spelling Fraudz?) around Gupshup, much like “Bhabhat” (patangas, or Moths) would circle around a candle. I suggest that you take good care of that Candle (and don’t use that Candle for personal purposes, such as “this” post). Participants (patangas) often give their lives just so that Flame continues to burn. I would soon post a list of Shuhada (those who have given their lives).

Aap ka Tabeydar Khadim

13

I will try and respond to each post on its own.

Yes absolutely , every moderator/admin should
input thier own valued opinions. (just as in a job your professional judgement is what you get paid for), however shouldn't your independent opinion be more based on your professional knoweldge and experience then just hearsay as say person in totally different field might state. why you might ask? well because people who hear that opinion base its value on the professional apptitude of the person. So for example if a docter told me excercise is good for me, I would have to say that he is saying that because thats his professional judgement.
As an admin you have every right to your independent opinions but at the same time by virtue of your been an admin whatever you say also carries greater value and hence more responsibility with it. what I mean is say if you become the president of a country, you become a leader and as such you affect a lot more people then just yourself and hence anything you do or say consequently you carry a greater responsibilty becuase of that.

I am very well aware that the mods/admin here are people taken from the ordinary pool of gupshuppers, but dont you look for any qualities before you make them mod, or any tom dick and harry would do?

As for anything goes, that is totally incorrect as the rules here do clearly state
what kind of material can not be posted (though I am assuming you meant in general, in which case you are correct.)

And I dont think in the least that you are disturbing the thread. I raised the issue cause it is something that i feel should be addressed and an open discussion would only help me see Muzna's point of view and hopefully vice versa and perhaps in the process also give us other insights.

[quote]
Originally posted by sabah:
This isn’t really an issue so I tried to stay out of this, but your comments are rather interesting, first of all I think you most of many others GupShup members would know that Admins and Moderators are normal members of GupShup forums before they become Mods or Admins. Becoming Mod or Admin doesn’t mean that you no longer can post like a member (that means post what ever under GupShup rules). It seems like you’re suggesting that we don’t have a right to have an independent opinion? Don’t you think that a job as mod or admin should help us grow in some way also? Why would anyone be interested in a job that doesn’t even allow you to be your self?

Sorry for disturbing your thread btw.:)**
[/quote]

14

[quote]
Originally posted by hmcq:
a mature lady (
[/quote]

Who..Muzna? khi khi khi khi...:) abay naheen yaaar.

15

Fraudia Saheb,

etnee serious conversation may bhee app kee MAZAQ kernay kee adaat nahiee jyaie gee..

16

see above

[quote]
Originally posted by Fraudz:
**hmcq whoa man... if all my posts were taken as official admin stance then I guess the twirling dervish-ism of the dervishes who twirl counter clockwise would be the official religion here.

:)

**
[/quote]

17

ummmm ... You are not implying that Muzna is an ummm immature lady are you.... Dehaan see yaar... Muzna ke kahin jootian na par jayen!!!

[quote]
Originally posted by Fraudz:
** Who..Muzna? khi khi khi khi...:) abay naheen yaaar.**
[/quote]

18

Toba toba... Aeena gussa!!!... Thandi thandi lassi laoo ji... Chaudhry saab noo zara thanda kariyee!!!...

I stated that cause that had been said in a different post (i think about a year ago). hopefully with what you have said now, I will assume that attitude has been changed for the better. And i was not implying it was said by the admin/mods.

[quote]
Originally posted by Azkar Choudhry:
**
I feel so sorry for some people who would claim that they ARE the reason for the existence of this place. Sure, look around, read a few of our posts. When did we deny that? That’s our MOTTO! It’s amusing to see people adding weight to their posts by adding such comments. Anyone with common sense would agree that members make up this place.

Azkar

**
[/quote]

19

hmcq, meri jaan kay totay, kabi kabi tumahin thappar maar kay payar karnay ko dil karta hay ...

20

[quote]
Originally posted by Soubia:
**Fraudia Saheb,

etnee serious conversation may bhee app kee MAZAQ kernay kee adaat nahiee jyaie gee..

**
[/quote]

kehta hai joker saara zamana
aadhi haqeeqat aadha fasaana :)