i’m a girl that’s in love with my field of study but it’s entirely male dominated. I don’t want to seem like i’m any different from potential coworkers and i want to earn their respect and feel like I mix well with them. during classes, i did make great grades and i got along fine with my male classmates but in the work environment it would be ten times more important for me to get along with them.
i admit i’m not a nerdy geeky girl. hate the stereotype that if a girl is pretty or not geeky she wouldn’t know much about technology or do well in a computer related field. I love fashion, makeup, and all things that girls are into as well so topics of conversation are limited.
Why do you need to be one of them? You are a girl and regardless of your profession, you have girly interests.
If you are feeling left out in conversations among co-workers and fellow students then figure out what they are into, do some study on it so next time you can say something about it. Such as, if they always talk about basketball, then check out whats going on in basket ball lately and next time when they are talking about it you will have something to say. However, you don't need to be one of the guys.
Why do you need to be one of them? You are a girl and regardless of your profession, you have girly interests.
If you are feeling left out in conversations among co-workers and fellow students then figure out what they are into, do some study on it so next time you can say something about it. Such as, if they always talk about basketball, then check out whats going on in basket ball lately and next time when they are talking about it you will have something to say. However, you don't need to be one of the guys.
That's crazy, you shouldn't have to research something just to get involved in conversations. It's like Joey buying the V volume of the encyclopedia in Friends to avoid being left out. There are a lot of interesting topics of conversation that don't require you to be from a particular gender so why not try and steer conversations to these topics? Guys and girls can also enjoy similar stuff. Alternatively you could just keep it strictly professional and not try to pursue a social life with co-workers.
ok, i did love playing basketball in high school but i lost touch with the sport, that’s the only sport i liked. but it’s football season and believe me i’ve tried to learn the rules to it every time the superbowl comes up and I always end up not getting what in world is happening the whole 2 or 3 hours of the game.
i can talk about playboy and act perverted if i have to be vomit but it would definitely make me uncomfortable. I hope it never comes to that though. I do not talk about my feelings nor am i too clingy with fellow students/coworkers but it’s easier said than done to be less sensitive b/c some men tend to be a little harsh or rude/in-your-face sometimes, which can be hard to get used to.
one of the guys on my lab team in class was talking about a sexual issue between him and his fiancee and i was feeling majorly uncomfortable hearing it but god help me I laughed along with all of them. I did good right?
you have a problem with everything i do here
sirji it’s easier to ask questions like this online b/c we get so many diverse responses and all viewpoints
it’s good that there are men in life1 too to help out with such issues
i can talk about playboy and act perverted if i have to be vomit **but it would definitely **make me uncomfortable. I hope it never comes to that though. I do not talk about my feelings nor am i too clingy with fellow students/coworkers but it's easier said than done to be less sensitive b/c some men tend to be a little harsh or rude/in-your-face sometimes, which can be** hard to get used to**.
well...you have to give up something to get something....i told u the bottomline.......if you can manage it...well and good....otherwise just keep it professional...
i know that i would devote my whole life to this career so this is important to me. in my classes i was the only girl so i'm pretty sure hardware/networking in the professional environment would be basically the same.
guess i just need to wow them with my knowledge even if their initial thought might be that i know zilch....more ideas are welcome :)
I worked in pakistan.......and we have very few females in our field.......in pakistan there is this issue that if a guy tries to be friends,frank or something.....women take it as an offence or something......they are usually uptight and instantly complain about the guy ...so i was personally always wary of being around females...because basically they are like more of a 'potential problem'......so my experience wouldn't be of any help to you...
guess i just need to wow them with my knowledge even if their initial thought is that i know zilch
Don't do that....... don't try to act so smartass......some of the guys may feel insecure and may get competitive..which doesn't help.......
I did a degree in which I was one of only a handful of females in a class of 80 or so. On top of that, most of the other girls were chinese and didn't speak much english. The entire group of people I hung around with - classmates and friends were guys. Now I'm in the last year of my doctorate, in a group with 5 other guys, with me being the only woman. We work with companies that have only male staff. I have to do the professional lunches, dinners, the pub, conferences, as the lone female.
In my opinion and experience, you naturally fit in as 'one of the guys' or you don't. I have two sides to my personality - one side that loves clothes and makeup and the other that grew up a videogame geek and hanging out with my male cousins.
You don't need to act perverted or talk dirty. In fact, they will respect you more if you maintain some sophistication and dignity. But, you can't be phased by what you hear or see them do. I think I was desensitised during my teenage years because of the internet and the kind of chat rooms and forums I used to frequent, so there's virtually no conversation topic that can phase me. And if they want to check out girls, they can go ahead, it doesn't make me feel awkward or insecure. Basically, the key is that they should feel comfortable to be themselves even when you're around. But that can only happen if you're comfortable with it yourself.
Don't be moody - if something is getting on your nerves just let it out. If you're quiet and sulky, you just seem like an attention seeker and guys hate that. And you do need to have a thick skin but you should dish it out if you need to too. With other woman, we hold back because the other person will probably stop talking to you, or bi**h behind your back. But with men, you can generally have a disagreement/argument and not hold back and when things have cooled off, it's back to normal with no hard feelings.
Other than that, it helps if you have interesting random things to bring up as talking points.
Nisha, why do you feel the need to be one of them? People can tell when someone is trying too hard.....especially in a competitive environment like the work place.....and that can send off a "needy" vibe that will end up in them losing respect for you. In other words, it can backfire.
Look, it's a predominantly male field, right? So....they're naturally not going to be talking to you about fashion and make up. And you wouldn't be discussing those things with them either. Often times, even when people are not that similar........broad enough topics will come up during a discussion....allowing a person to contribute something about the topic. So, you'll be okay.
For example, "work" is usually discussed at work. This results in people discussing their opinions (either positive or negative) about a particular project or work related goal. So, you'll have no problems contributing in those sort of discussions. And technology, movies, sports, travel, ....are broad enough topics for one to contribute in as well.
All the time won't be spent socializing. Just be friendly...be yourself...go with the flow.......do unto others as you'd want done to you....don't try too hard....and you'll be fine. :)
At one point in time, I was the only girl working with a total of 25 men. That went on for a year because we were going through a hiring freeze. So I learned a few things:
Dont wear a lot of make up or dress tooooo fashionably at work. There is nothing wrong with dressing trendy but you want to avoid sexy. Work is work. If you want to be taken seriously, you need to make sure your mind is being considered over anything else.
I dont like the idea of cracking dirty jokes with the men as it takes away a certain level of respect men should always have for you. I never did that and over time, after some struggle…the guys came to respect me.
Do NOT get moody even if you feel that wayyy! They blame it all on the “time of the month”
Know about popular sports (puke for me)…be on top of your current events and have a thorough knowledge of your field.
The OP is not trying to be "manly" or like a guy...or masculine. What she means is that she just wants to be able to interact with the guys in her field and be able to hold conversations with them.............and not be completely isolated by them at work due to gender since it's a predominantly male field. I don't think "one of the guys" was meant to be taken literally. It was loosely meant as being able to converse with them.
@stoppit , thanks it just feels good to know that there are other women like you and reha that have been in the all men around no women in sight type of environment. yea i agree that’s one of the pluses of working around men, there isn’t too much of that b*tchiness or gossip. had a couple fellow male student friends that have always been there for me so definitely dependable too. @Reha , na i usually never wear sexy clothes even in college, fairly modest i would feel too weird especially even more in the work environment. i couldn’t do the dirty jokes things even if tried, i’m just not the type thanku
@redvelvet , thanks:k:,i shall be myself and won’t worry about it too much
Personally, I feel you shouldn't need to change in the way you approach your relationship with colleagues. You're doing what you love and its that in itself that will command respect from others in this particular case males. There is a code of conduct whilst working with other people and that is the only thing that matters. :)
So a girl into her technology. I think awesome. I have only come across one girl that is a computer science major. Good luck :)
i expect lots of girls to tell you how to be a guy 
but it’s easier said than done to be less sensitive b/c some men tend to be a little harsh or rude/in-your-face sometimes, which can be hard to get used to.
That went on for a year because we were going through a hiring freeze. So I learned a few things: