95% of guys say they hate clingy/needy girls who are on their head all the time, who demand time, who demand love & compassion, who demand attention. But for the other side of the story, how can a girl not be clingy when she is insecure of the relation. I have been engaged for months. My fiance is there all the time through which ever mode available due to long distance but is really not there either. He wouldn’t talk with a lot of interest, he wouldn’t show interest if he sees a picture of me, he wouldn’t care if something special was happening in my life, he has never said any special sweet words, he has basically never shown that i am special to him. For me, its difficult to talk to him because he minds every it bit of the conversations. He doesn’t respond with the same enthusiasm and i end up looking stupid and unsure of my own self. I like him overall but i am so insecure of our relation and making it better that i end up being the clingy one. I think a girl who is secure of her relation is the sort who does not act needful. He has made it clear to me that he isn’t interested anywhere else but is just busy but how long can one be busy? month & months & months? What ever it is, i feel if i am insecure of this relation i ought to be chipkoo. I wonder how girls actually manage when they don’t get their due attention?
Re: How can a girl not be clingy when........
Us girls keep busy with work, friends, hobbies. Do you show the same interest in things that fascinate him? Perhaps you should act aloof, as in not talk to him for a while, and then he will be like is everything ok? how are you? I miss you etc - Always works muhahahaha.
Or have you told him how you feel? I think you need a bit of time away, you shouldn't loose yourself in one person (or many persons for that matter hehe), I get that he is your fiance but sometimes people are more reserved before marriage than after. Or perhaps he is just self-interested Or perhaps doesn't know how to talk to girls. You need to figure out what it is - you or him? and then perhaps talk to him in a calm manner stating your reservations.
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You're not married yet and on top you're not even in the same country. I'm sure things will dramatically change when you two are married inshallah.
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^ that too 
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and what if it doesn't ;o?
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stop asking for it.
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^ That's not a very good answer :S All girls should get the attention they deserve and shouldn't have to ask for it, it's supposed to be there. From what you've said thus far, I find it quite strange that he doesn't seem as responsive towards the relationship as you. Have you discussed this with him?
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Being clingy is not going to help. Try to figure it out why he is behaving the way he is. Maybe he is just like that or there is more to it, you are the best judge here.
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plz pose this question to him and i am sure you will get a better answer
95% of guys say they hate clingy/needy girls who are on their head all the time, who demand time, who demand love & compassion, who demand attention. But for the other side of the story, how can a girl not be clingy when she is insecure of the relation. I have been engaged for months. My fiance is there all the time through which ever mode available due to long distance but is really not there either. He wouldn't talk with a lot of interest, he wouldn't show interest if he sees a picture of me, he wouldn't care if something special was happening in my life, he has never said any special sweet words, he has basically never shown that i am special to him. For me, its difficult to talk to him because he minds every it bit of the conversations. He doesn't respond with the same enthusiasm and i end up looking stupid and unsure of my own self. I like him overall but i am so insecure of our relation and making it better that i end up being the clingy one. I think a girl who is secure of her relation is the sort who does not act needful. He has made it clear to me that he isn't interested anywhere else but is just busy but how long can one be busy? month & months & months? What ever it is, i feel if i am insecure of this relation i ought to be chipkoo. I wonder how girls actually manage when they don't get their due attention?
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@AbraCadabra Where does he live and where do you live ? My answer and advice will depend on the answer to this question.
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I seriously don't understand this clingy-ness business. If there is love and friendship between two people, they want to spend time together.
Re: How can a girl not be clingy when........
95% of guys say they hate clingy/needy girls who are on their head all the time, who demand time, who demand love & compassion, who demand attention. But for the other side of the story, how can a girl not be clingy when she is insecure of the relation. I have been engaged for months. My fiance is there all the time through which ever mode available due to long distance but is really not there either. He wouldn't talk with a lot of interest, he wouldn't show interest if he sees a picture of me, he wouldn't care if something special was happening in my life, he has never said any special sweet words, he has basically never shown that i am special to him. For me, its difficult to talk to him because he minds every it bit of the conversations. He doesn't respond with the same enthusiasm and i end up looking stupid and unsure of my own self. I like him overall but i am so insecure of our relation and making it better that i end up being the clingy one. I think a girl who is secure of her relation is the sort who does not act needful. He has made it clear to me that he isn't interested anywhere else but is just busy but how long can one be busy? month & months & months? What ever it is, i feel if i am insecure of this relation i ought to be chipkoo. I wonder how girls actually manage when they don't get their due attention?
its just nothing more than a drama and girls like you seems to buy it quite easily......
......... just for a change, completely start ignoring him and see the change in his attitude within weeks .....
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I seriously don't understand this clingy-ness business. If there is love and friendship between two people, they want to spend time together.
now that is the truth. guys who say they dont like clingy girls are looking around for other girls, dont want one clingy girl to spoil their fun/chances with others.
Re: How can a girl not be clingy when........
now that is the truth. guys who say they dont like clingy girls are looking around for other girls, dont want one clingy girl to spoil their fun/chances with others.
Uh no, sometimes its a matter of giving each other space.
You don't need to become ONE with each other. A relationship is two individuals sharing a reality, not two individuals trying to be one.
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where has the romance gone lol. :)
[quote]
A relationship is two individuals sharing a reality "
[/quote]
that could apply to flatmates, house sharing, any 2 people. not your life partner.
you share one house, one bed, one everything including food, one way of discplining your children if your blessed to have them, one, one, one, not half or two thirds.
Re: How can a girl not be clingy when........
where has the romance gone lol. :) that could apply to flatmates, house sharing, any 2 people. not your life partner.
you share one house, one bed, one everything including food, one way of discplining your children if your blessed to have them, one, one, one, not half or two thirds.
My bad, I didn't know you had a knack of missing out on the obvious. I never implied that you cannot have romance while giving each other space.
You can be with someone, love them, care for them and still have your own space! I know right?! So out there!
Sharing a reality together does not mean you have to do everything the same way and share every single experience. We're not cookie-cutter moulds and were never designed to be such. There are umpteen examples in Life1 of what happens when people forget to live a life of their own in a relationship. You don't want to lose yourself.
But hey, this is my opinion. And you know what they say about opinions!
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I seriously don't understand this clingy-ness business. If there is love and friendship between two people, they want to spend time together.
Exactlyyy
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^ That's not a very good answer :S All girls should get the attention they deserve and shouldn't have to ask for it, it's supposed to be there. From what you've said thus far, I find it quite strange that he doesn't seem as responsive towards the relationship as you. Have you discussed this with him?
if they are with the right person it will happen without trying.
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:k:
I dont find it strange at all. You cannot expect him to have all the answers and be in tune to your needs when he is just as new to this as you are.
Leave all the mushy business to when you’re married. Right now, just focus on yourself.
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deja vu .. :p
long distance makes things hard - the cherry on the top is the period b/ w engagement and shadi itself.. each is judging the next person for everything they say or do !
just dont worry ..try to keep yourself busy in other things ! spend this time with your family and friends .. you would IA have a lifetime of good times to share with your husband later ..and you would miss this period ! and once you are married things would dramatically change inshAllah :)