How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary

[NomiCA]

Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary

@redvelvet

And in response I ask you the following questions: Do you give greater priority to religion or culture? To Allah or the men of your culture that will not come to your aid on the Day of Reckoning? Decide for yourself whom you fear more; the men or their Creator.

1. If she’s not backing down, then you have the right to physically defend yourself.

2. If she has backed down and then you strike her…it’s not going to diffuse the conflict. There’s a chance it can escalate. And even if the score-board is now even, how are you any different or better than her? You both showed a loss of self-control; it’s just that she lost it before you.

3. If you had provoked/hurt her in some way prior to her physical attack; then you have a responsibility to reflect upon your own transgressions. Being a man is not only about physical strength; it’s about character as well and the latter has much to do with self-restraint.

4. There’s a female coworker on my team who is the perfect example of a work-place bully. She resorts to name-calling via text and insulting colleagues in conferences and in front of their students. I am fully capable of verbally knocking her down a few pegs. However, I chose not to stoop to her level (as tempting as it was). As a result, it strengthened my case when I showed the evidence to admin. Alhumdolillah my reputation is in a better place than hers. Imagine how much more shameful it will now be for her…simply because the other person took a higher road. Sometimes, Nomi, the guilt/shame of a transgression stings worse when we don’t respond in kind. Sometimes relationships are saved when at least one person has better self-control.

well i am not asking how i would behave in such a case “astaghfirulla”…sheesh… i am not getting chhitrol from my wife… :

and coming to the topic, you are right about what an ideal person would/should do…also, we can not totally cut out the cultural/societal influences from such situations… i am talking about societal attitudes towards such real life siutations - where there are imperfect people who don’t take the moral high ground… i am talking about an average joe…

anyhow, you did state your views regarding different scenarios…