Re: Hotel room
Hum tummmmmmmm ek kamrey mein band hon.
Hope this helps.
Re: Hotel room
^^ Haha .. what are the chances, I just mentioned the movie "Bobby" in another thread ..
switzerland
Re: Hotel room
Seriously do aunties and gossip have that much influence and power on people lives?
X2 Bhai,
I've also giving the guy the "benefit of the doubt" by saying that even if the guy has sincere intentions and even if nothing happens between the two.......at least keep the potential of gossip in mind.
Yes, you are right that chances of gossip might be low if "nobody" sees the guy and the girl. ** BUT**.......gossip can still spread if either the boy or the girl is not careful when talking to their friends. For example....the guy might tell one of his bestest buds that him and the girl were in a hotel room. And even if the guy and the girl are just friends and no physical intimacy took place between them......what if his friend leaks the information? Maybe not on purpose...but by accident....without thinking? Similarly what if the girl tells her closest friends that she met with him in a hotel room......and her friend leaks the information?
Your closest friends can sometimes slip when talking to others. And I have found that even your closest friends can be jealous of you. And a jealous friend or a spiteful friend might betray you and play a role in destroying your own reputation. As they say.....the people closest to you can make the worst enemies.
And as i said.....even if "nothing" happened between the two, when people find out such things, they automatically assume things because of the connotations associated with being in a "hotel room."
My point about the doubled-edged knife was to imply that things can blur. And X2, I've already mentioned in a previous post that it's best to opt for the most practical/less risky/safer method.
Is it wise to go on a date to Sabri, a place where other desis go as well? No! You know what, I used to live in Saudi. And I remember that in my early teens.....I would hear the girls say that you shouldn't meet up with your boyrfriend at Al-Rashid Mall on the weekend during the evening because so many people go there. Well, that's common sense. Why would you take such a risk by going to that location during that particular time? It is more prudent to go somewhere else where there is a less likelihood of being spotted by someone you know. Some, would even go to Al-Rashid Mall during the week days during the afternoon. Why? Well, because aunties can't drive there and most of them are in their homes in the afternoon during the weekdays and their husbands are at work. Or they might to go a park in the afternoon....knowing that the desi population is less likely to go there during the weekday...during that time.
You work it out X2, you opt for the most practical and safe way. Being seen in a public place (mall, park)....during a time/day when it is LEAST LIKELY that you'd be spotted by anyone from the desi community who knows you........is better.....than being in a hotel room. Why a room? Why not the the hotel lobby? Why not the reception area? Why not the lounge? These places seem better than a hotel room. You can be in a more public location where there is still LITTLE LIKELIHOOD of being spotted by someone you know. Even if the didn't have any funny business on his mind....it's common sense to contemplate his intentions (for your own safety) if he makes such a proposal and go about the situation in a way that will be prudent for both parties.
all is fine, as long as we are talking about what is prudent ..and it will vary by person and situation but an assumption that the guy has something on his mind as it appeared to be the consensus of the aunties in this thread was plain and simple wrong. IN the end it is up to each individual to figure out their circumstances, and the situation.
There is no absolute answer here in any case.
Seriously do aunties and gossip have that much influence and power on people lives?
It does have an impact for many people. I dont care and never cared but I think it is a bigger issue for girls, it is an issue for guys who give a damn too. But for many people from conservative families it can be a huge issue.
In my case I was away from home starting in my teens so I never really had to deal with such concerns, and much of the constraints that even local desi kids in US felt had no impact on me, living in a fraternity house, spring break trips to south padre, ft lauderdale, aspen..I had no dealings with any desi chicas in undergrad anyways, so it was not until I was in bschool that I understood some of the constraints that local desi youth had.
Much of the time it was nothing even like dating but a party, concert, movie, dinner out with pals. and the constraints varied by family.
I feel for desi kids who stay at home and go to uni, especially girls, especially if families are strict or community is nosey
hehe thank you for being so kind 
Hmm atleast that eliminates one possibility 
kahi pyaaar naah ho jaayeehhh 
Thank you 
And to** X2** and red velvet a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thank you as you’ve been total stars! A good point of view from both parties one which helps draw a safe conclusion!
x2 I envy your free from asian lifestylee!!
all is fine, as long as we are talking about what is prudent ..and it will vary by person and situation but an assumption that the guy has something on his mind as it appeared to be the consensus of the aunties in this thread was plain and simple wrong. IN the end it is up to each individual to figure out their circumstances, and the situation.
There is no absolute answer here in any case.
Yes, it's advisable to both parties to do what is prudent. However....when one thinks critically about a situation.....it is natural for one to not only think of the most practical solution but to also contemplate upon the reasons of the proposal and the intention of the one proposing the idea.
X2....prudent people will look at things from various angles and a smart person will at least reflect over the motives/intentions/ of the other person as well. Even if the guy proposing the suggestion does not *have any *"funny business" on his mind....a girl who is prudent will **reflect on the matter in a thorough manner not excluding a reflection on his intentions.
Not everyone here is an "aunti" lol. I'm in my twenties.....but perhaps gender plays a role in point-of-view as well. So does culture. And the connotations associated with such a suggestion also play a role in shaping one's views.
The funny thing I've noticed is that when one looks at the scenario from the view point of a young guy wanting to hang out with some girls with little hassle.......it's different. But with time........perhaps.......when that same guy becomes the father of a daughter, his views might change and not be as flexible if he were to find out that some guy wants to meet his daughter in a hotel room. Similarly a guy might be relaxed about making such a proposal himself to some girl.........but he might not be so relaxed if another guy were to ask his own sister to meet him in a hotel room.
You and I have our varying views regarding the issue. But at least we both agree that both the guy and the girl should be prudent and opt for the most practical/safe option. Also, I think we can both agree that when being prudent...one should reflect over many aspects of the situation (safety, reputation, character, intentions, etc). And we can both agree that since the lines can blur so much, there is** no absolute answer** here in any case. :)
No not really, it depends on their intention. Personally if i want to discuss something with a girl (which is either important or personal and we don’t want other people to hear it) then obviously we are gona do it in such a place where no one else can hear us, we wont be doing it in front of everyone.
Now that doesnt mean i want sex with her does it? 
Some people (mostly women) in this thread are just pathetic, you girls leave no stone unturned to bash boys, i guess people here jus wait for this kind of threads to pop-up and they can start their job- which is to bashing men/boys…
I have few female friends and when we want to discuss something important i.e. personal then we do it in a place where no one else can hear us now does that mean we are having sex? Gosh Asian people are v narrow minded…
Ever wondered why Muslims (especially asians) are going backwards instead of progressing?
Re: Hotel room
i didnt read any of the responses here, but why cant they both just talk about it over the phone in total privacy of their own homes?
Re: Hotel room
^SMART! my kind of thinking! 
Yes, it's advisable to both parties to do what is prudent. However....when one thinks critically about a situation.....it is natural for one to not only think of the most practical solution but to also contemplate upon the reasons of the proposal and the intention of the one proposing the idea.
X2....prudent people will look at things from various angles and a smart person will at least reflect over the motives/intentions/ of the other person as well. Even if the guy proposing the suggestion does not *have any *"funny business" on his mind....a girl who is prudent will **reflect on the matter in a thorough manner not excluding a reflection on his intentions.
Not everyone here is an "aunti" lol. I'm in my twenties.....but perhaps gender plays a role in point-of-view as well. So does culture. And the connotations associated with such a suggestion also play a role in shaping one's views.
The funny thing I've noticed is that when one looks at the scenario from the view point of a young guy wanting to hang out with some girls with little hassle.......it's different. But with time........perhaps.......when that same guy becomes the father of a daughter, his views might change and not be as flexible if he were to find out that some guy wants to meet his daughter in a hotel room. Similarly a guy might be relaxed about making such a proposal himself to some girl.........but he might not be so relaxed if another guy were to ask his own sister to meet him in a hotel room.
You and I have our varying views regarding the issue. But at least we both agree that both the guy and the girl should be prudent and opt for the most practical/safe option. Also, I think we can both agree that when being prudent...one should reflect over many aspects of the situation (safety, reputation, character, intentions, etc). And we can both agree that since the lines can blur so much, there is** no absolute answer** here in any case. :)
As I have already stated, I dont disagree with anything you are saying, I was amused at the 'guys are horndogs' type of posts the entire first page and half was filled with. The individual's intentions are a key aspect here and that then depends on the individual, blanket statements that just because a guy wants to meet someone in a hotel room automatically means he wants hanky panky as stated earlier was something that needed to be addressed.
I think I wrote already what my view of the a good prudent situation is, which is somewhat of a group outing, which has its own issues because the more ppl who are involved the more the chances of tongues wagging.
Now ideally parents would be open minded enough that they would allow their kids to meet people in a safe environment, that is what my family practised, for guys and girls both. So there was no need to sneak around for privacy or for fear of gossip.
Thank God for my family.
Re: Hotel room
^Unfortunately not all parents are so open-minded.....especially with daughters. This is a tough situation and as you said....it's hard to arrive at a solid answer. Yes, it does not automatically mean that the guy is a horn dog. But a girl who is careful will analyze the situation thoroughly including safety/motives, etc. In the end....prudence is strongly advisable for both parties :)
It's been a good discussion, X2. And hopefully the poster has has been able to find some helpful ideas/suggestions.