Re: Hope for single ladies
the bechari attitude comes from a lack of self esteem and self confidence. Girls who are truly secure and confident don’t get fazed by rejections on their looks or their personalities. And they’re generally cognizant of their flaws, are comfortable with them and willing to accept the consequences.
Yes the world is harsh, in reality, the better looking you are the better chance you have of finding a good spouse. And yes girls should be proactiv, but there’s a lot of overweight girls out there, who have no excuse to be overweight other than they’re not willing to put the effort in to exercise and eat well, fine. They might even accept that because of this they’re not going to find what they might consider a good catch and have to compromise on a lot of aspects. Where society and men come into play is when an overweight guy can demand that he wants a beautiful, slim girl and he gets it. Or a dark as night dude insists on having a fair beautiful girl and he gets that too. Again the reason for this… girls are taught to compromise, guys aren’t. The double standard is where the problem lies. If a girl is expected to go out there and be proactiv and do whatever she can to get a good catch, a guy should have to do that too. But there is immense pressure on girls in society vs. men. I mean I’m just talking about looks here but it applies to personality too, there are many guys out there who think girls shouldn’t be too smart or shouldn’t be involved in finances or whatever.
I don’t think girls should have a bechari attitude at all, but in order to prevent that they need to stop being told that they need to look good, behave a certain way, do certain things, just so that they can get a guy. They need to be taught that there’s more to life than that. I was lucky that I grew up away from the environment but I remember being as young as 11 and spending time with cousins or friends and mums constantly ragging on their daughters about don’t do that, what will people think, you’ll never be a good wife. This kind of attitude is responsible for why girls fall into desperation when they can’t get married for whatever reason, and its rarely as simple as she didn’t work on her own looks and personality and take the necessary steps to attract a guy.