Hope for single ladies

[Reha]

Re: Hope for single ladies

@lafuriaroja

I’m not saying they all don’t have a choice, obviously there are all kinds of people in this world and people choose whatever is important to them. But a lot of girls don’t feel they have an option, they feel forced into a choice. That’s where I’m saying there’s a problem. I was using skin colour and size as examples, like I already mentioned those aren’t the only issues. My husband is way darker than me as well, it wasn’t a concern for me either. And I’m not assuming these girls are compromising, I’m using examples from my experience, of girls who did have these concerns, obviously I’m not speaking for the whole muslim Pakistani population.

My husband is not only lighter than me but also a very fit guy. I was slim but not slimmer than him.

@Paheli00

And speaking of women who would like to get married but is not letting that control their life b/c they do have a professional/social life to focus on that’s fulfilling…again, that is also up to the girl’s parents in how they raised/educated her, and encouraged her to be social instead of keeping her sheltered and inside the house all her life. I do agree that there are double standards in our society but before we start pointing fingers at the guys/their families and demand they change how they do things, its important to look within ourselves (ie. the girl’s parents) on what they’re doing that they’re girls are becoming mentally unstable/severely depressed due to not having a husband (ie. why don’t these girls have a professional career/large social circle/hobbies to keep their schedule packed).

This is my point…simply put.

@ZareenKhan

Everyone does or atleast tries to do what is best for them. This mentality that oh they can do better can at times annoy me though it might be right. It’s like telling a divorced person oh you could have tried harder. Things are easier said than done! How would you know how much they have tried or not? Do they have to show physical wounds to be illegible to want out? I doesnt make sense to me.

In a divorce, there are two parties upon whom the outlook will depend. So some part of it is not really in your control.

In this, not so much. You have complete control over yourself…unless of course you don’t want it or you’ve been raised to believe you don’t.

There’s no scale, no meter to measure how much a person has tried or not. No one is going to check up on these girls to see how hard they’ve tried and I don’t think I am dying to know about it either.

As someone who’s been on both sides though, its hard for me to just blame society in general and call it a day. As if nothing can be done about it and girls have no hope and are destined to be depressed and lonely. That is a cop out. Its also a choice they make as hard as it may be to believe.

I don’t believe in helplessness…sure there are times of sadness but you have to get over it. Why do girls like to be pitied? When I was divorced and single, I hated pity. Where is the self respect? Hum bebass hein, majboor hein, lachaar hein, koi humse pleeease akay shaadi karlo, etc.

What would you like for someone to say to these girls? That nothing is in their control? Yes, there is a big bad wolf called society making their lives miserable and they cannot do a thing about it? Would that be more productive? Or would that simply give a girl the warm and fuzzy feeling that yes…she is indeed a victim?

Or would you rather give someone hope and motivation?

I could say all that but it doesn’t change the facts.