Hope for single ladies

[Paheli00]

Re: Hope for single ladies

@lafuriaroja

I know the double standard exists and has for a while but it’s not like this mentality can’t be changed. A couple of generations ago, girls weren’t even educated and thats not so much the case anymore.

The double standards in the Pakistani community will change eventually. But it will take decades. The girls who are currently in their 30’s……this mentality will not change fast enough to do them any good. But I firmly believe that 30/40/50 years from now things will be very different and many of these double standards will disappear (and of course be replaced with new problems lol).

@lafuriaroja

my mother stood up for what she thought was right but it wasn’t easy, I’m sure if instead of having 20 people telling her she was wrong at every step of the way if she had had 20 people encouraging her for doing all the right things, it would have made her life a lot easier. The same way if society can step up and tell girls of these parents, that hey there’s nothing wrong with marrying a non-pakistani muslim, or let her finish school, her education is important, etc. and not just your girl needs to learn how to be a good wife first and foremost, we’d be looking at a different group of girls.

It wasn’t easy for your mother but she did it anyway b/c that’s what she believed in. That’s the thing when a group of people (ie. girls who are having a very hard time finding spouse within the Pakistani community in this case) are trying to change how society does things. Although this is a extreme example….think back to decades ago when black people were fighting for their rights to get rid of segregation etc……even right now homosexuals fighting for their rights (which has come a long way since the 90’s & far from being over).

Anytime there is a group of people within a community that wants to change things…they MUST take the first step. Its them who needs to “step up” instead of waiting for society b/c society in general does not have any issues with how things are currently being done. Its not easy and can create backlash and make their lives very difficult…..but for people who are truly passionate in changing society’s views on something….that risk is part of the package.

P.S. I did not mean to apply that you specifically were blaming the guys side for these problems…but that is an impression I get this topic gets discussed. Often the focus gets shifted on how unfair/selfish/unreasonable the guy/his family is, and how they need to change their expectations (even though they don’t have any problem finding the type of girls they’re seeking!). Rarely do we discuss what the girl/her parents are doing wrong OR what options are available to them that they are choosing not to take.