Honourable in face of death????

Me and my best buddy meet a life threatening situation during my recent trip to Pakistan. I am going through this moral dilemma, I am not sure if my action during the ordeal was of the moral standard I would like to see.

When everything over thanks Allah (both are safe) someone calling me a hero and others betrayers, for them staying and dying with best buddy is more honorable and courageous, and taking huge risk of being gun down in the process is cowardice and betrayal.

I took the risk, we both survived but Alhamdulilah, but now huge moral question making me uncomfortable.

Was a courageous act or did I really betray someone?

I am having difficulty to face my best friend of life time, it becoming huge moral issue (although he always has nice words, and our relationship is as good as ever) but it is people around making me uncomfortable.

What would be honorable way to face this situation, I have been asking this from everyone I know, lets share your thoughts also.

Re: Honourable in face of death????

In your shoes i'd have died with friend facing bullets of enemies. Death comes to us all. It is better to die young for a worthy cause, afterall no one can choose how life begins but we all can choose how to end it.

To have died for a worthy cause is my goal in life.

However even i fainted when i was 12 in my first bad clash, the heat and the crowded space was too much and i passed out. I was called a weakling then..... i was defeated again by my own blood..... again i had failed.

But i still live and have since those days become wiser and as time has passed i have become ever greater by standing without fear but it has taken more than a decade to come this far.

You are niether a hero or a coward, you will know the answer only when you have the time to finish all your test in this life. Your result can only be determined at the end.

Re: Honourable in face of death????

Hi brother

We were not fighting for any worthy cause, only were kidnepped by criminal on the street of Karachi.

The only issue was, it is right to be killed by them together, or do something hopefully save both lives, but any uncuccessful attempt means sure death for person.

I took the risk, and both survived.

It was gr8 drama, involve myself jumping from moving car, police opening fire and finally freeing my buddy.

Only issue become difficult when people start accusing me of leaving my buddy. Forgetting I would be first one would get shot if failed.

Re: Honourable in face of death????

In the case of a kiddnapping i cannot say........ i have no experience on that one, but it is by nature and instinct that i would probably try to fight back or make an escape attempt.

So with that thought you had a lot more patience than i, becuase it takes true patience and courage to remain as acalm as you did in the face of such a terrible scenario.

Naturally i would have to say you did very well to come out alive and well. May Allah bless you and give you a happy life.

Kidnapping is sadly a very big problem and it is one of the worst crimes. No honourable person would do it, so for you to come out as you have done, you are surely blessed.

Re: Honourable in face of death????

At the end of it your risk paid off right! 100% coz both of you survived... So whats the worry? You know, people always talk, always have an opinion but they dont need to live without you if u had died. The real casualties would be your family members and people who rely on you. Im sure they're more then happy your alive. I think even from an islamic perspective you most probably would be advised to save yourself.. Morally I dont think you did anything wrong. 99.9% of people would run off without looking back to save anyone else. So all those people who are calling u a betrayer wouldn't really understand the situation unless they were in it them self!

I dont think u should beat urself up about it at the end of the day u came out victorious and Allah is the one to take and grant life... Just do alhamdulilah and use this opportunity to create a closer bond with your friend.

Best of luck

Re: Honourable in face of death????

unless I have been put in situation, its hard to tell what my actions will be but if we go by natural instinct, jumping out alone will surly be one of the option almost everyone will think about

Since you jumped from the moving car you could have been killed in the process. No ?
So here you go , you are a hero for jumping from a moving car at the right moment to save your friends life and yours too.
In last month RD there was a story about two guys who were climbing icy mountains in Alaska , one got hurt , the other could not take him along to safty because in that case both would die. This guy made a decision. Left the other guy in a tent and went to a rangers station and got help to go and retrieve his friend. Was he a cowered to leave his injured and dieing friend or was he a hero to save both lives.
You decide.
The one who takes any calculated risk in this kind of situation is the one who is the real hero. Your friend might have been dumb founded in the situation and could not think straight while you did and saved lives of both of you.
May Allah reward you highly. Ameen.

When a person is in such a high stress situation, his senses aren't working properly. Now having said that, pilots, ship captains are suppose to be the last ones of the boat, if something were to go wrong. But they are trained for the emergencies, your not. What you did under the circumstances is justified, although I'm not familiar with the whole episode. I would say, that if your friend has survived you had a hand in it. After you jumped, the criminals would have panicked, and at that point, they start making mistakes. So get over it, talk to your friend, and think this is another experience in life. And if both of you have survived, it is time for you to rethink your life, and start helping society. Like volunteering and stuff...

Re: Honourable in face of death????

It is difficult to apply rationality in such a difficult scenario, where the body is in survival mode. You found an opportunity and took the risk, though you could have become seriously hurt in the process as well. It's also easier to rescue one person than two, and who knows if you hadn't jumped both could have been killed. There is no right or wrong answer here. You both undoubtedly wanted the best for each other to happen. I congratulate you for having come through this, I pray Allah does not put anyone in such a situation. Btw where in Karachi was this?

Let me tell the whole story..my apology for long post though..

It was after dinner we decided to head to Boat Basin a popular food place at Clifton area in Karachi. While we were waiting in the car for ordering our food, suddenly a man with gun in his hand entered in the car. As force my friend who was at driver seat to move on.

I was sitting in front passenger’s seat, and the lone gunman was sitting on rear seat covering both of us. At first we thought it was normal carjacking and the guy would leave us after taking our cell phone, cash and car and offered him same. But after a while we realized that he has not intention to let us go that easily.

The gunman told us that he fleeing after committing a murder (we have no way to know if this is true), want us to drive him away from the area, while were moving he was trying to contact his peoples on his cell phone and his plan first to bring to his hideout and peoples and then move to Noori Abad a small industrial town outside Karachi.

While I thinking about our options as we have been driving at around Clifton and defense area, my actual plan was to create a commotion by ramming the car somewhere as soon as we see police presence.

But unfortunately my friends were on driving seat, and there is no way I could communicate with him, when gunman hold gun at our neck. At one point when we saw a police picket on opposite direction and I did singled him to do something but he could not understand.

Finally he ordered us to turn the car at the road going towards Korangi from defense area, and also tell his friends that is about to reach,** I was getting a bit desperate at his intention to bring us to their hideout, as it means certain death (there is no way they would let us come out alive to identify the place).**

I was thinking about the options we have, me sitting on passenger seat, but my friend is trapped on driving seat there is no way both of us could make any attempt of escape together, and leaving ones best friend for life is not an easy decision.

Finally I decided to take my chance, hoping a successful escape of either one could help other as well. As time ticking fast and the guy informed his people the he is about to reach the place. Allah made the thing happen in strange way, it is when I lost all hopes something happened.

It was late at night and the road was not so busy but suddenly we found ourselves in slow moving traffic due to an accident on same direction we were traveling, I saw a truck over turned on the side of the road and 2 policemen was standing nearby.

That is where I decided to take my last chance, while the car passing through the place of accident at slower speed, suddenly I opened the door and jumped out of moving car. It was a risky move as he could shoot me half way through, or another vehicle could overrun me. Thanks Allah nothing happened and once falling on the road and quickly rolled myself behind a stationary car on the side of the road, I started shouting for help.
My friend only realized what I was doing when my body was more then half way out of the car, instinctively he shouted my name but I was already out then., not knowing to me that my action unsettled to gunman and he decided to go after me, and forced my friend to stop the car and came after me (these criminals has stupid ego, I am sure he want revenge me for failing his operation), as soon as thing happened my friend also immediately speed away.

This is first time in this whole incident I was a bit lost sense of what happening around me, as did not noticed the stopping of care and the gunman’s coming after me. But on hearing my cried of help the policemen sprung into action and opened fire towards the guy, after a brief exchange of fire the gunman disappeared in the darkness. All I was doing standing on middle of the road when bullets were flying (so stupid of me for not for not taking cover). I am thankful to this brave policemen his action saved my life.

I was fine and well only suffer some bruises on knees and elbow. But extremely worried about my buddy till someone told me that he saw gunman disappearing in dark, thus my friend is safe.

I borrowed a cell phone from someone to inform my family, very soon my brothers arrived at scene and relieved to see me safe. Someone gave to a water bottle which I finished all.

Later my friend (he didn’t stop earlier because of fear of a backup party might be following) who went to relative house not far away, and took their car to returned to check about my situation and boy it was a great relief for both of us to see each other safe. On seeing me safe he openly cried.

Actually at first I was pleased and proud for my action, only worried if my friend would interpret it as abandonment or betrayal. I had a good night sleep but only next morning when I gone through everything in my mind, the feeling fear which did not experience the night before started making appearance on realizing so many holes in my action, r and how lucky I was for not being shot at:-

a. during process of jumping out of car or
b. if the policeman decided not to intervene or
c. not being seriously injured due to jumping out of moving car or
d. not being over run by any on coming vehicle.

Since both of us are safe, the feeling of fear did not last long, but due to some “friends” started making statement that I have abandoned my best friend in the gravest time. And if I am a true and honorable friend should stay with all the time what may come.

For me dying with him honorably is not bad thing then living life of a betrayer, I have been going through the events again and again but could not understand any selfishness in my actions.

By not taking any action, would give kidnapper at least one day, where they could shift us outside the city, disable the car’s satellite trackers thus making any rescue impossible, no matter how big was the risk early information is the only way to mount successful rescue. Since he was not in position to do anything, I have no choice but do something and now facing this **** on my face.

The fear of gun and bullets didn’t do anything to me, but now facing situation being called a betrayer of the best of the best friend (of 30 over years) is unsettling me. I rather die then behind hiding excuse of so called instinct of survival for abandoning my best buddy.

This is the reason, I am asking almost everyone known to me, if I was coward or selfish or betrayer. This stupid thing is getting too much for me now…

Re: Honourable in face of death????

Your story is most inspiring. What you did was probably the best tactic you had, given the situation. That was not a cowardly act and it showed great luck for you that it payed off.

I have analysed the situation and to be honest your timing was perfect becuase you came out alive and so did your friend.

I must say you really had a very lucky excape but i am glad for that.

There is no question of cowardice in this scenerio, your actions were actually very brave and Allah rewarded you with success, it is not easy to do what you did.

I am glad also to hear that there are still some decent and brave police officers in my homeland too.

Re: Honourable in face of death????

**Brother!

Here the question is not of bravery or cowardice. off course the person could think and execute a strategy while facing gun must have some guts. In any case mixture of guts and stupidity calls bravery.

There is no doubt anylogical person would call it right action mostly because results was positive, anyway, but what would happen if things went wrong:-

  1. Angry because of my successful escape the guy would shoot my friend immediately?
  2. If instead of friend the guy you leaving behind is a brother or son?
  3. How about worst case you are with your wife or sister, or daughter?

These was case in Karachi, they kidnapped a couple from a place in Clifton, and later on the forced the husband out of the car, got away with wife. Due to sense of desperation, and on his inability to protract her wife the husband committed suicide.

*My question is what is honorable thing to do in this situation? *

Would my wife, sister or daughter understand when i leave her inside the car with criminals (with intention of rescuing her no doubt)?

Re: Honourable in face of death????

TS,
They say it is all well if it ends well.
The bottom line is that you and your friend are safe and sound. Alhumdulillah.
Sometimes you have to make decisions at the spur of the moment for collective good , people realize the soundness of the decision based on the end result.
Some people who are were not there and were not affected with your decision would not understand as to why you made that kind of decision , so you should not care about it.
All the people who's lives you save would be thankful to you. If they are not it is not your loss.

Re: Honourable in face of death????

i think u were sensible and did the right thing...it saved both ur and ur friends life....May Allah keep us all safe...