hello again, may be a long post. i had a feleing before i was going mad, like everyhings was my fault, my reactions to issues were possibly larger than the problem.** no worries, we have all been there:)**
me and husband also having problems. i have issues with mil anyway as we all know, well me and husband also not on friendly terms. i keep thinking i am fighting for my rights. maybe i have no idea what i am fighting for. or against.** stop thinking like that, pick and choose your battles. your thinking like that because u were treated bad for a long time, and you may have lost some liberties, your afraid your husband/inlaws will control you more.**
the other day we bought tickets for my annual trip to uk. his parents knew about it this time we discussed with them as last year when iu went we didnt and it was an issue for them.so bought tickets and we told them the dates and etc, however husband insisted i actually SHOW them the tickets too,.i said ok later. i didnt. because i didnt understand why he was sucking up to them and why they needed to see it not as if im going today he later asked me i said no i didnt show yet.he was angryshouted. You should have just showed it to them. his parents are mean/annoying, but u wouldn’t have anything to gain by not showing them. your husband probably bought the tickets, so if he knows they know.
so again, another time recently, he has always told me never to use his brothers laptop cos incase it messes up they will blame me.
i found this silly. but i did use it and left on table where my daughter threw on floor. and it stopped working. he shouted at me for that. in private but sill shouted and sounded really mad. you shouldn’t have used his laptop. you should ask him to buy you a laptop if you don’t have one. He was right, because now he will have to buy a new laptop for his brother.
fair enough i was wrong, bu when he makes similar mistakes i would never shout at him. he has no value of me hence why he shouted.** try not to make assumptions, he was really mad because he has to get a new laptop now.**
he thinks shouting and showing some sort of aggression is ok. for him.
why is ok for men to be one way and women another. every relationship in life has a dominate and submisive person, teacher/student, boss/employee. with husband and wife, its just that its either the guy or the girl incharge, but usually its one person. You can yell too, but I guarantee, the fight will go on longer.
somewhere i am to blame for my atiude and feelings. like his mother when she is ill he will go in her room to ask her how she is, i get really madly jealous and dont want him in the room. and im always weary when he talks to his sister too. i always feel they r brainwashing against me. or maybe he cares more for them. i literally count the times he comes to me when im ill and in what manner, and count he times he foes to his mum. **he is a mama’s boy, you can’t change that, you can only protect yourself, and you are right. Everytime he speaks to his sister/mom, he will become a little more attached. its human nature, think about it, u watch a tv show, once, twice, then you get hooked to the point where u start caring about the characters. It will not help you to count howmany times he meets with them. Try to get him on your side, by indirectly reducing the time he hangs out with his sister/mother. Like go out more, get him involved with something with your daughter (maybe have him tutor her everyday in Quran or school). But remember he is a mama’s boy, accept it and move on. If ur lucky with time you siL will get married and your MIL will die. Think about that and ease your anger.
**
see, this is my issue. madness. and i dnt know how to resolve it. in my head. get a hobby, workout, try to be pleasant, make some friends, become a better cook. you need something to do, so u think less about it. I think your in pakistan, and are stuck in that house 24hrs a day. Take some cooking/sewing classes, so you can get out of the house for a couple hours a day.
namaz? I AM NOT religious. is this why ive lost it. Prayer makes you stronger, don’t give up on God, sometimes God tests us.
my issues are not PAKISTAN. PEOPLE live here and do as rhey please. maybe i habe made my life hell. lets all be honest, pakistanis, and pakistan in general there is a different mentality and a different way of life, and it is a bit backward for someone who comes from a western country. People are living there, and surviving with harsh lifestyles because they KNOW how to handle these situations, and its something that occurs for a majority of people.
husband is a dull emotionless human being. no ronance, excitement, nothing. he chose to marry me, yet since marriage hes so dull and lifeless. if i dnt tell him to take me out he will not even notice. so he is dull and lifeless, who cares, if he takes you out when you ask him too, consider it a good thing. He could always say No. Give him a reason to not be so dull and lifeless, maybe cook something new, do something different with your look…
my issues are all wrapped and warped. and no i wil never see anyone for my head stuff. ? no there not, you are just like only focusing on negative, get some other activities/hobbies. when you see this stuff with a clear head, it wont be so bad.
gs help me out and i want all honesty.
I FEEL upset, confused, like i want a divorce…or am i being over dramamtic. i dnt know.
