Re: Honest opinions needed
honest: you should be more courteous while putting your point of view to elders.
both situations personally you may have been offended, but your reactions is straight rude. the problem is not in your concern, its the way you say things to others in above situations.
These are small things and should not become big issues. Continue in a normal way with these family members, and let the incidents pass. You shouldn’t hold on to it worrying about what they are thinking, and you shouldn’t hold grudges against them. It’s not worth it. It’ll get forgotten soon enough.
As for holding your tongue, I know how hard it is. I definitely have a hard time with this too. But I think once you’ve said something once, don’t continue in a discussion argument. They have different opinions. Let them have them. Do what you need to do.
Re: Honest opinions needed
wow first time i heard someone being so upset with her mom's side of family.
n ur husband supports u coz its not his side of family. do same with ur inlaws n see how he reacts this time
wow first time i heard someone being so upset with her mom's side of family. n ur husband supports u coz its not his side of family. do same with ur inlaws n see how he reacts this time
i agree. for all we know, you just gave him a great drama to watch and enjoy.
i understand that you were caught off guard when your mamu grabbed your baby away. but really, did u have to react like that? hes not a stranger that hes going to hurt and kidnap your baby. teek hai? akhir vo tumhara mamu hai. maybe, MAYBE his method of getting the baby from you was a little odd, but forgive and forget.
the second situation, i think you were rude too. no offense, in a huge hall when theres SO MUCH hulla gulla going on during a wedding funciton, everyone is so busy and stressed worrying over if the function is going smoothly. so what if your khala said a little something to you... maybe she was just really busy and hectic at the moment. you really didnt have to get so defensive. :)
Re: Honest opinions needed
You definitely overreacted in both situations.
And what you said was very disrespectful and rude.
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you are even more crazie than I.
Good job Madame Loco.
Re: Honest opinions needed
and you are badtameez.
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:D
Re: Honest opinions needed
hitchki, you flooder:p
do unto others as you want others to do unto you, something along those lines. but yes practice controlling your anger and be courteous in such situations :)
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lol
u need to get help or pretty soon it might jus be mamaandbaby
Re: Honest opinions needed
mama how old is ur baby btw? u r not suffering from any kind of postpartum blues or depression? this could b one reason of uncontrollable anger even sleep deprivation with young child esp first ones make u less tolerant. try to b more relaxed esp b4 attending a gathering.
Re: Honest opinions needed
i think some of the replies here are uncalled for and quite harsh, there’s no need to be so nasty towards someone especially if you yourself think her actions were soooo wrong.. you’re doing the same exact thing to her 
Re: Honest opinions needed
I think you could have handled it better. Learn from this experience and don't repeat the same mistakes.
And someone else said, if you pull this with your in laws...see how your husband will support you then.
While I agree that you could have used more diplomacy and less anger in your interactions with your relatives...is there perhaps something else going on with your mamu or khala? Perhaps you've had unpleasant run-ins with relatives in the past and these last two incidents were the straw that broke the camel's back?
Although you still should have handled things in a more calm and tactful manner, your reaction would be more understandable if that were the case.
I knew a girl who was very sweet and soft spoken. Never once talked back to certain members of her family who would often say and do stupid and insensitive things to her. She took it all with good grace until one day at a party, she couldn't take it anymore. A khala or chachi said something stupid and this time, instead of grinning and bearing it like normal, she totally exploded. Now, because she never reacted before, no one knew there was even a problem. But because she had a complete meltdown over one insensitive remark, everybody at that party cast her as the bad guy. Which was completely unfair. But because she'd never reacted before, they had no way of knowing that her relatives were actually the ones to blame.
Anyhow, the reason I'm telling you all of this is because I'm curious. If your relatives have done or said stuff to you that has hurt you, rather than bottling it up until you can't take it anymore and exploding in the way my friend did all those years ago and calling attention to yourself as you did at these weddings, you should have a talk with your mamu and khala. Explain to them that you love them, that you want them in your life and your baby's life, but that you've been hurt and you would appreciate it if they could be more sensitive to your feelings.
And if I'm completely reading it wrong and that's not the case, then you need to work on controlling your emotions. We all get angry. Sometimes the anger is rational, sometimes it's not. But it happens and you have to control it. If you let it spill out too much, then you'll have too many regrets on your conscience.
Good luck.
Re: Honest opinions needed
What is most bothersome to me is your husband's full support of this unreasonable behaviour. May be if he'd given you a piece of his mind in Situation #1, it wouldn't have happened the second time.
wOw.. a husband who lets you tell ppl off!..ur lucky..:D
Re: Honest opinions needed
If she was telling off HIS side of the family...I dont think he would have been as supportive as he was so far.
Anyway, you did overreact in the first scenario. Here is the reason why: Mamus, chachas, khalas, khaloos, mamis, phuppos, etc. all look at their children as CHILDREN. My dear, to your mamo, you ARE a child so its no surprise he treats you like one. He did take your child from your arms, yes. But he probably felt like holding him and didnt think you'd mind if your own mamu held your baby for a bit. He didnt snatch him and run off...he actually took the baby from your arms. He doesnt have to ask you, sorry to let you down.
The second scenario...you were plain outright rude. I am not trying to just go with the flow here but seriously...are you the first one on the planet to have a baby? Why are you harping on and on about your child and using him as an excuse to blow your fuse at people? Yeah, the people you were talking to were mothers and they probably were thinking "grow up" when they said what they said to you.
Listen, if you want people to treat you like an adult you have to act like one. Being over 18 doesnt mean you dont have to control yourself anymore...it actually means you are expected to have more decorum and control then a toddler. The only person in my home who is allowed tantrums is my niece and that is only because she is still being potty trained. Even if you want to stick your ground in a situation, there are a million other ways to make your point without looking and sounding rude. Imagine how horrible you made your mamu feel by telling him off when he simply wanted to hold your child?!?!?! Imagine how your khala must have felt when she saw you getting ready to go even before a family function was completely over?!?!?! Whatever happened to self-control? My sister has a kid and I havent ever seen her storming off because she is sleepy and cranky. She takes care of her kid, divides responsibility between herself and hubby and makes sure the baby doesnt get affected by whatever phase she is going through. Did you think of sending your husband home with the baby so you could stay longer until the wedding was over? This is your family and you're stuck with them whether you like it or not. If you are going to keep acting immaturely and give them the impression that you dont like them...they wont stick around for long. They too will get sick of your attitude and say "Bubye" to you and yours.
Just because you have a baby doesnt mean you have the green light to be rude and mean to people...you're not the first and you wont be the last to give birth. Your husband should NOT have supported this type of behaviour at all...he is just as guilty for egging you on.
Chicken, i can honestly COUNT how many times these members of my family have seen/visited my family (me, hubby and baby)
thank you, one of few non attacking responses
thank you iggle, but i’m pretty sure that when these types of situations faal on your head you may not be as diplomatic as you would like to be
i have never mentioned these things again and tried to behave normally when we met again.
just cos it is my mom’s side of the family does not mean they are perfect and that i have to think of them as such.
as far as i know, if this had happened with my husband and one of his family memebers had done the same thing to him then they would get a similar response.
My husband wasn’t near me in either situation.
yes he may not be a stranger but he was still rude in the way he took my son, and anybody who did that would have gotten the same treatment.
Yes i know i need to calm down and to be honest i HAVE alot, i haven’t lost my temper properly more than 2-3 times in the past 2 years, and this was one of the times.
you don’t know my Khala, she likes to inerfere in situations which are NO concern of hers and then complain.
HITCHKI
i’ll take that as a huge compliment from you 
SKHAN
MABROOK
My son is now 1 year old
do you have children? if you do you know how tense they can make you when there are lot’s of things going on, but no i don’t have post partum depression.
PAREEZAY
Thank you
SARA516
yes i am going to try to control myself should any situations like this arise.
out of 30 odd posts ONE person understood where i was coming from.
thank you
yes i need to control my anger, but there is only so much I can put up with.
