Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Cupcake · January 14, 2012, 11:08pm

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Also I don't care if people talk. They gonna talk if you're doing bad or good. Id worry more about getting possibly sinned for it then what some stupid biddy will say!

Jolie · January 14, 2012, 11:12pm

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

What exactly is so sinful about having a Quran over your head? Fair enough if you don't support this rasam because there isn't solid religious evidence to back this up but calling it a sinful act is taking things to a whole new next level.

Demilitarize · January 14, 2012, 11:16pm

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

You know, it is all based on intent IMHO.

In my house, whenever anyone goes for a long trip, we pass under the quran and also give them sadqa in their hands to give to whatever needy person they encounter along the way.

The intent is in my eyes, "go with God".

I dont understand the hulabaloo over this quran thing in your eyes.

khattichic · January 14, 2012, 11:19pm

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

so in my family...yes, we hold the Quran over dulhan's head during bidai/ruksati
we do the whole arsi mashaf thing with showing dulhan's face in a mirror and reading an ayat out of the quran

now my inlaws do the whole rice thingy and washing of dulhan's feet...my mom/family was kind of taken aback by these rasms, but they did not want to disrespect my MIL, so they told her to do whatever she was accustomed too, and we obliged.

Cupcake · January 14, 2012, 11:27pm

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Ok I'm actually not causing a big fuss about it.. I just wanted to know why there is this custom.. What's the whole meaning begin it etc. although I still think its a big no no for me. I believe it IS an innovation which is Bidaah which IS a sin but Allah (swt) knows best. Like I said some people may see it in a different way but this is the way IM seeing it. Everyone has their own opinions..etc etc. if rather someone read some Dua or something out of th Quran which to me means more than me simply passing underneath it?

KKF · January 14, 2012, 11:35pm

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

very short answer...you do NOT have to...Alla these rasoomaat are pagan traditions. holding Qur'aan on bride's head is bid'a and it must be shunned. you are right, Qur'aan is supposed to be respected, read, understood and practiced. May Allah show us the right path...aameen

stoppit · January 14, 2012, 11:39pm

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Everyone is going to have a different opinion on this so do what you think is right.

Personally, I am with you that cultural traditions and Islamic traditions are two separate things. So don't make a tradition out of something involving religion, where it should not be. And I think the argument of 'well we do other things that don't have a basis in religion, so why not this one?' is a ridiculous argument.

I never had a mehndi, rukhsati or any other traditions, so I did not have to worry about this. Any members of my family/extended family that has studied/studies religion and try to follow Quran and sunnah, do not back rasm this and advise against it.

stoppit · January 15, 2012, 12:06am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Actually, I'm chuckling right now. Could someone please tell me which Quran was held over Hazrat Fatima's (r.a) head given that (as far as I understand) the Quran was primarily memorised and written on whatever was available including the shoulder blades of camels and all this was collected together after the death of the prophet (saw)?

Cupcake · January 15, 2012, 12:12am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Lol very valid point! ^ I guess I'm just gonna have to against elders wishes. Obviously I'll try respectfully to make them see my point but if not well what can we do! I'm not trying to cause a big thing out of this btw.

You're right stoppit..I feel uneasy about this so not gonna do it! UNLESS someone finds me a very strong Hadith.

Thanks for all the input though. Very useful to hear people's responses! Once again no offence intended. :) May Allah show us all the right path IA.

guriya1986 · January 15, 2012, 12:14am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

I was also against this rasum, I did not see any swab or any sort of significance for doing it so. But on d other hand since its a very traditional rasum & our families feel very conscious about d whole scenario. I didn't object from it happening, since it was my mums wish to rukhsat me under the Quran.

naqsa · January 15, 2012, 12:16am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

This is the height of ignorance. How could you even rationalize the fact that by passing thd Quran over your head you are now under it 's blessings? If that was the case, why would we need to read it of memorize it? And to hear that people make a fuss if it's not done...wow! Pathetic!
Cupcake you should be proud of your self for questioning this disrespectful tradition. Tell your family to read Darood Shareef at your rukhsati and leave thd quran at home.

Cupcake · January 15, 2012, 12:24am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Naqsa I said the Same thing! I was like if we could get blessings from passing underneath it then people would be just walking underneath it all the time? I never even though about it until my sister brought it up and straight away I said no!

Guriya I believe I'll be in the same position as you as I'm pretty certain everyone will be at my throat :(

stoppit · January 15, 2012, 12:28am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Cupcake, I would not stress about it. Talk to them and try to explain why you don't want it but if they insist then I would not fight it. If you feel this way, I'm sure it is not a tradition you will pass on, so that itself is something.

Cupcake · January 15, 2012, 12:32am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Thanks for that! ^ yeah that's what I'm just gonna do. Let's all calm down people. I'll talk to mum sometime in the future!

soconfused · January 15, 2012, 12:46am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

we do the rice thing and apparently it's supposed to be that the daughter is leaving her blessings with her old family or something like that. it's cute, but I haven't seen it done in the States as much.
The quran thing I've also seen, I don't believe that it "wards off" anything but I'm still on the fence about how strongly I"m AGAINST it.
we dont' do the milk thing but we do do the arshi musaaf and this thing where the bride and groom put their feet in water and have to get something iono...i was really young when i saw it.

sfm123 · January 15, 2012, 1:48am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

Point about rice:

7:31 O Children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.

Wasting is the way of shaitaan. Allah Ta`ala says: "Indeed those who waste are the brothers of shaitaan. Verily shaitaan was most ungrateful to his Rabb" (17: 27).

Islam rises above culture and tradition,if culture dictates for you to sin then you are to go against such acts and strive to change the culture by setting examples for your fellow muslims. Who cares if people talk badly,who would you rather displease-people or your creator?

Try and calmly discuss this with your family, I know its difficult but identify the fact that there are people.children dying from malnutrition and here you are throwing rice...showing disrespect towards the bounties Allah has provided. Suggest giving charity feedong a hungry person the portion of rice that you would otherwise waste...

You are in the right, i hope for things to go smoothly.

naqsa · January 15, 2012, 4:54am

Re: Holding Qur'an over brides head?

^ good post.

KaafHaaYaaAynSaad · January 15, 2012, 5:34am

Re: Holding Qur’an over brides head?

Salam,

Most people are probably not gonna like what I have to say, but here goes…

Most of us Pakistanis have incorporated so many things from other cultures/religions, esp. Hinduism, that we aren’t even aware of what’s from Islam and what’s not from Islam. Like this Quran over the head thing, it’s baseless.

I mean, really, you’re telling me that you have a wedding where you have men and women (who are dressed up and caked up) freemixing, music and dancing, wastage of food, spending thousands and thousands of rupees/dollars, people missing their fard namaz because they’re at the wedding hall, videotaping the bride (who only Allah knows which Tom, Dick and Harry will get to see on the other side of the world), etc., and in the end, in the end…

They put the Quran over the head… =/ sigh

We sin all day and night long and then in the end we put a Quran over the head (which, mind you, has no significance in Islam - so, that too is innovated).

Marriage is supposed to be a beginning of a new life for the couple, we want the blessings and pleasure of Allah, and us Pakistanis do everything to earn the anger of Allah on a day that’s supposed to be blessed. SubhanAllah.

We really have to wake up, seriously.

I’d like to see where you read that. It’s disrespectful if you have the Quran in a place that’s lower than your feet or have your back/feet towards it.

Good point.

Khair, anyways, to the OP:

Here are something you should read, Insha’Allah:

Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations by Mufti Ibn Adam [Do’s and Don’t for a Newly Wed from an Islamic Perspective]

May Allah bless your marriage and grant you lots of righteous children.

STA · January 15, 2012, 5:59am

Re: Holding Qur’an over brides head?

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