Re: HIV
Scenario: I find out my husband is HIV positive. So far we've been using condoms. I am HIV negative. We were planning on having kids, and we've found out that he is HIV positive.
As a good muslimah, what would be my next course of action?
(hypothetical scenario, but a very common one, nonetheless)
Get a divorce...As a Muslimah, you cannot jeopardise your life and a new life in the making...
As a Muslimah you have every right to separate yourself from that which will harm you...
Re: HIV
Pcg: I agree with Teggy. It is possible. It depends on ur new partner. If he is sincere, then he will accept you even after you tell him your reason for leaving your previous husband. And if he is sincere in accepting you, then he will also protect you from others who might raise a finger on you (including his own family). However, from what I have observed, we don't find such people who are sincere in what they say and what they do, unfortunately. Pinks also made a good point that in today's society, things get blamed on the woman, even if she had nothing to do with it (not always the case though) and this stays as with her as a pain even after she divorces.
Re: HIV
Do you think leaving him would be an easy option for me if I was a middle-class or working-class Pakistani woman in Pakistan, and I had no education, and therefore no job options?
How easy would it be for me to remarry?
now u r mixing culture and religion....
hubby being HIV positive is a very valid reason to be filing for khul'a....
Re: HIV
^^ I agree there. This has to come out in the open as soon as possible. I think his parents will think twice before asking for a grandchild once they learn of their son's ailment. However, I wouldn't recommend a divorce.
Re: HIV
IVF is too expensive for us. Amma jee is telling me and hubby ke agar bacha nahi hua, she's finding another wife. Hubby, imbecile he is, doesn't want to tell his parents because they'll think he had an affair and would disown him.
Bottom line: Is it moral for me to pick my health over my husband if it came down the two choices only?
IUI
its only couple hundred bucks
Re: HIV
IVF is too expensive for us. Amma jee is telling me and hubby ke agar bacha nahi hua, she's finding another wife. Hubby, imbecile he is, doesn't want to tell his parents because they'll think he had an affair and would disown him.
Bottom line: Is it moral for me to pick my health over my husband if it came down the two choices only?
Forget it if the wife wants kids... this is not a selfish move. If the woman contracts HIV, there is a 25% chance of the baby contacting it during natural birth, and 1% chance if Cesarian section is done.
I am really sorry for parents that are not there for their kids when they need'em. Please if you know this guy, tell him to be brave and steadfast. If he has done nothing wrong then he has nothing to fear regardless of who thinks what. His focus/target (qiblah) should be the Truth, and doing the Right thing.
Re: HIV
pyaricgudia..it seems like ur just thinking too negatively..
ur putting all the negatives in one scenario..which is not impossible!
Re: HIV
pyaricgudia..it seems like ur just thinking too negatively.. ur putting all the negatives in one scenario..which is not impossible!
she is considering the worst case scenario... entirely possible, though not frequent.
Re: HIV
I agree with Psyah and Picocio. This is not about love but the reality which both the spouses have to deal with.
Both should separate with dignity. Even the wife cannot take care of him indefinitely, sooner or later he will be in a worse condition. Until that point the wife possibly could be with him but there will come a certain juncture at which there will be little options. Even if they stay married the wife is destined to be a widow sooner or later. Some of life's realities are harsh and difficult to accept.
The husband should explain the truth to the parents and let his wife go without any objections. The only thing I wish is our jahil society would realize such problems and treat them with dignity as well and put no blame on the wife here and make it easy for her to remarry.
Re: HIV
If she really truly loves him, then HIV shouldn't be the reason for her ot leave...maybe they wont have kids, khandan will b*tch about it, wahtever...when you truly love one anther...you work through it...i cant imagine what'd be worse, living with a spouse who has the disease or leaving them and perhaps living miserably alone ... :(
Re: HIV
The only thing I wish is our jahil society would realize such problems and treat them with dignity as well and put no blame on the wife here and make it easy for her to remarry.
The first step is the realization that there is a problem... I have no doubt that such misconceptions and unreasonable undertakings will die out with the course of time. Consider that our earlier generations have not had to deal with such issues, at best, for a long time.
Re: HIV
Do you think leaving him would be an easy option for me if I was a middle-class or working-class Pakistani woman in Pakistan, and I had no education, and therefore no job options?
How easy would it be for me to remarry?
forget about remarrying in these circumstances. You'd (hypothetically) be confronted with an even bigger challenge and that is, 'survival.'
Re: HIV
she is considering the worst case scenario... entirely possible, though not frequent.
Think about it. How many thousands in Pakistan right now are HIV +?
How many divorces are happening based on HIV status?
There are obviously many women who are contracting AIDS from their husband, and who are not leaving the situation because they might not have anywhere to go, nor would society be so ready to accept a divorced woman.
How many divorced women do you know have had an easy time remarrying? I know a few, and they're from educated affluent families - near zero option of remarriage. No one wants them.
I was watching an HIV documentary, and this reasoning came up in the portion on India. That in India, about half or more than half of HIV positive population is female, and has contracted it from husbands who were cheating on them. In impoverished areas, getting a divorce is either unheard of or difficult, so they end up contracting it. A lot of times their husbands don't tell them they're HIV + ; they might not even know until it progresses to AIDS.
I'm not sure if the same trend is as rampant in Pakitan, but on World AIDS Day, GEO did some coverage and they interviewed a young couple (faces were censored) in which the husband contracted it, and the wife told her story and said that when he told her, she said she wasn't going to leave him at this point. I don't know if they have kids in that case. It becomes complicated in Pakistan, because not all families want to come out and talk about. They had interviewed some AIDS social workers as well, and some folks on the street who were like "Well, we didn't even know what this disease was until recently".
Hmm...anyway. Its some food for thought.
Re: HIV
I know where this will go. To take out the confounding variables, lets say it was through a drug infusion through a dirty needle in a small clinic in Gujranwala.
WTF? your bias against Pakistan PCG it is not funny anymore.
Re: HIV
Scenario: I find out my husband is HIV positive. So far we've been using condoms. I am HIV negative. We were planning on having kids, and we've found out that he is HIV positive.
As a good muslimah, what would be my next course of action?
(hypothetical scenario, but a very common one, nonetheless)
keep dreaming , hopefully dream will come true
Re: HIV
The first step is the realization that there is a problem... I have no doubt that such misconceptions and unreasonable undertakings will die out with the course of time. Consider that our earlier generations have not had to deal with such issues, at best, for a long time.
Granted, perhaps our earlier generations were not faced such issues either. I do always say divorce is actually a solution but people today have made it into a problem.
Re: HIV
My mom is a Doctor in Pakistan and she says HCV is much more dangerous in Pakistan now than HIV... Most tansmission cases do not happen due to sexual intercourse, but though bad medical practices including IV needles, contaminated and unsanitized medical/dental tools, and blood transfusion... use of drugs is another vehicle.
I think the whole outlook towards life, death and morality needs to be revamped for our society.
Think about it. How many thousands in Pakistan right now are HIV +?
How many divorces are happening based on HIV status?
Re: HIV
Gujranwala is the first random city name I came up with.
What? You think people in Gujranwala do not contract AIDS, but people in Karachi do? You've got to be kidding me. Lets not be so thin-skinned on trivial matters like an example.
I'm not an MQM member. Most people in Karachi are not MQM followers. I'm not even urdu-speaking. But thanks for the insulting comments. We all know where your mindset is now.
Re: HIV
chal chal, ab jhoot na bole. you live in US, eat and sleep in US lekin the first city that came to your mind was a relatively small city of Pakistan. Maan lo, your hypothetical scenario required a dirty, uncultured, uncivilised city, and the first that came to your mind was a city of Pakistan, because of your bias ke Pakistan ki hur cheese kharab hai. Why not Bogota? Ab mujh se kabhi baat na kerna 
Re: HIV
Gujranwala is the first random city name I came up with.
What? You think people in Gujranwala do not contract AIDS, but people in Karachi do? You've got to be kidding me. Lets not be so thin-skinned on trivial matters like an example.
I'm not an MQM member. Most people in Karachi are not MQM followers. I'm not even urdu-speaking. But thanks for the insulting comments. We all know where your mindset is now.
what ever
but i thank god , that islam is not a thesis report
it is a religion
but unfortunately people think of islam as thesis,
and keep dreaming about different scenarios and try to implement islam on that scenario